Your opinions please.
Your opinions please.
I live in a small town and my husband and I are the owners operators of a successful business in this town. My problem is I would like to go to an AA meeting, but am concerned of repercussions (gossip etc) that may affect our business. Am I being ridiculous?
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
I also lived in a small town when I got sober, for my first year I went to meetings every day an hour away in each direction.
After a year, I started to attend meetings in "town" and was able to "add to" local meetings.
The funny thing?
Everyone "knew" I was and had been drinking, and everyone "saw" me stop, although I thought I was being sneaky going to meetings "over the hill"
I didn't mind being seen completely obliterated at the local bar, but no way was I going to let anyone see me going to an AA meeting, they might think I had a problem.
Since I did live very much in the "public eye" the fact that I got sober and stayed sober was noted by many many people.
Over the next ten years or so, Husbands would bring their wives to me, wives, their husbands, parents, their children, I had the honor and privilege of bringing maybe 50? 100? I don't know how many people to their first meeting, many of whom became sober, and in turn "twelve stepped" others.
Now I am considered by many to have been a "pied piper" of sobriety to my home town.
people 10 years later after I moved away upon being brought to their first meeting by someone "3 removes" from me come and hug me and say "thank you" (this happened last Thursday)
I was a Fireman/Paramedic, and thought if it "got out" I was a drunk, the repercussions would have been horrible.
everyone knew.
What I was told was "don't lead with my chin" as in don't "announce" I was sober or an alcoholic, but anyone you see at a meeting is there for the same reason you are.
In AA we are taught "attraction not promotion" so when I went I was amazed in that I knew everyone there and hadn't realized a single one of them were sober or attended AA. Every one of them welcomed me with a hug, regardless of our histories and whether or not "we liked each other" in the past. Many of them became fast friends I still see today.
I will also ask you one question.
Have you ever seen anyone going to meetings? Did you judge them? Meetings are quite often held in churches and schools, and truthfully, I never even noticed these people until I got sober. They were just people that went to church at night or like PTA I thought.
Good luck in whatever you do.
After a year, I started to attend meetings in "town" and was able to "add to" local meetings.
The funny thing?
Everyone "knew" I was and had been drinking, and everyone "saw" me stop, although I thought I was being sneaky going to meetings "over the hill"
I didn't mind being seen completely obliterated at the local bar, but no way was I going to let anyone see me going to an AA meeting, they might think I had a problem.
Since I did live very much in the "public eye" the fact that I got sober and stayed sober was noted by many many people.
Over the next ten years or so, Husbands would bring their wives to me, wives, their husbands, parents, their children, I had the honor and privilege of bringing maybe 50? 100? I don't know how many people to their first meeting, many of whom became sober, and in turn "twelve stepped" others.
Now I am considered by many to have been a "pied piper" of sobriety to my home town.
people 10 years later after I moved away upon being brought to their first meeting by someone "3 removes" from me come and hug me and say "thank you" (this happened last Thursday)
I was a Fireman/Paramedic, and thought if it "got out" I was a drunk, the repercussions would have been horrible.
everyone knew.
What I was told was "don't lead with my chin" as in don't "announce" I was sober or an alcoholic, but anyone you see at a meeting is there for the same reason you are.
In AA we are taught "attraction not promotion" so when I went I was amazed in that I knew everyone there and hadn't realized a single one of them were sober or attended AA. Every one of them welcomed me with a hug, regardless of our histories and whether or not "we liked each other" in the past. Many of them became fast friends I still see today.
I will also ask you one question.
Have you ever seen anyone going to meetings? Did you judge them? Meetings are quite often held in churches and schools, and truthfully, I never even noticed these people until I got sober. They were just people that went to church at night or like PTA I thought.
Good luck in whatever you do.
Your concern is rather normal and if you did see someone you know, they would be in the same postion as you, and would also worry you were going to tell someone they were there too. So you'd be in the same boat.
Us alkies are so similar it is scary.
Us alkies are so similar it is scary.
Thanks for your replies.
Thank you all for your replies. Truly helpful and very uplifting. Ago your story is fantastic. You must be so proud of yourself. Well done. You are right - I have never seen anyone go to a meeting and I sure as hell wouldn't be judgemental of anyone else who was there, so what on earth am I concerned about!! There are two meetings here a week, Wed. night and Fri night. I am going to go this Friday. Both are held in church halls.
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