problemchild

It is amazing that all the relapses relate to problems in that persons life, or as in my case along with others just not working your program like you should.
There is a simple, but hard at times program to follow that works, if we follow the directions.. I am not putting anyone down god knows my s@!* could fill a novel on relapse, it was just something that hit me and was so obvious i had to mention it. Hell we are not hopeless but unwilling to take the action needed to remain sober at times, at least that has been my case. I realize we all can stay sober regardless of our situation, BUT YOU GOTTA WANT IT..

Take care all,
John

least

That's what CarolD always says: you have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink. Since I decided that for myself I've not touched a drop in 111 days!

Freedom1990

I am so proud of you! :ghug

NewDayNow

.

Yep!

I'm just learning about recovery. I'll be sure and keep my focus on the directions.

Thanks for the heads up John.

Ed

Zencat

True and for me. Without determination, direction and support my 'want' is hollow.

Ananda

just my 2 cents here....i wanted it desperatly and drank for years....i had to believe it was possible for me to be sober in order to get sober....and i haven't found it necessary to follow directions other than work the steps to the best of my ability and listen to how others do so.....oh yeah...and share with other alchoholics

gravity

I had to get to the point where I fully believed that drinking will always result in intense mental and physical misery. Who wants to keep living like that? This will never change, I will never ever be able to get anything positive from drinking. There is no other option than to stop.

A simple program. Hard at times yes, but nothing compared to the mental & physical agony of coming off another bender. And it does work. I don't drink and I don't want to drink. I have a new life filled with endless possibilities.

Quote I heard last night from an AA member with 30 years of sobriety: "Don't leave before the miracle happens." She knows what she is talking about.

Boleo

If you are the "real alcoholic" described on page 24 of the Big Book
"Wanting it" has nothing to do with staying sober:

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent.
We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."

Real Alcoholics stay sober by staying spiritually fit:

"We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected.
We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition"

lizw

my head can always find a good reason/excuse to drink.
I believe it is part of the disease.

Take it easy.
:ghug3

Liz

Tommyh

since I got sober 20 yrs ago,I have worked hard at service work,group responsibilities,the steps,and every other aspect of AA
one thing is,I had done it spraodically
there have been times when I sabotaged my sobriety by purposely wallowing in my defects of character,or purposely not getting involved.
How I am still sober today is a mystery to me sometimes
I can see only 2 things,2 reasons for being sober today,considering the past

1-I have always had a burning desire to stay sober,no matter what was going on

2-it must the love and mercy of a gracious God looking after me in spite of myself

vegibean

I don't need a bad reason to drink. I love getting drunk. I could be happy as hell and have a relapse. I believe it really is how bad you want it.

least

For me, staying sober is part of being spiritually fit. For me, being sober means, among other things, liking myself as much as possible like God does - unconditionally. As an active alcoholic, wanting to drink to drown or numb my feelings was a stronger motivation than wanting to stay sober. For me, the gift of desperation was that I was so sick of my drinking self that will power or not, I wanted to turn my life in a new and positive direction, and wanting with all my heart to stay sober was a big step toward actually staying sober.

My problem has not been removed, it has simply been relegated to a 'back burner' which I am careful not to turn on, so to speak. I actually have a back burner on my stove that is defective and dangerous to use. Just like my spiritual 'back burner' is potentially dangerous to use. So I use the burners that work right and won't potentially burn the house down. And yes, I AM a 'real alcoholic', I'm just not 'active', but recovering. The only AA meeting I go to regularly is my home group. I don't have a sponsor and am not doing the steps, but am confident I can stay sober just by wanting to follow the path of truthfullness - being true to myself and being true to others.

For me, every time I relapsed it was because I still wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober. But when I finally had 'had enough' and wanted to be sober more than anything else, I was able to stay sober. I like myself sober and didn't/don't like my drinking self. So for me, yes, wanting sobriety that much meant I could achieve it.

problemchild

Congrats least, i think that once we are detoxed off the physical dependence of alcohol there is a big matter of CHOICE in that first drink, also i do believe that at some point the desire will be removed by our higher power, but until that happens there are things we can do to stay sober, so boleo i kinda disagree on not having a choice on that first drink once your detoxed.
Also i agree that it is not always bad situations that make us want a drink, hell i wanna drink sometimes just to be f*#@*^ up and no other reason , just because i have spent years at it and in my sick mind i miss it at times.


Take care,
John

Boleo

Chris R. (from Ingram TX) said it best:

If you are a hard drinker and finish with detox, every day gets easier. If you are a real alcoholic and finish with detox, every day gets harder. Real Alcoholics have lost the power of CHOICE when it comes to drinking and must stay spiritually fit to stay sober.

"We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. "
(page 85)

problemchild

Guess i have been a hard drinker for 20 + years, because i still struggle with the spiritual issue and not where i need to be in that aspect of recovery.But yet sober today...Hmmm?

Take care,
John

Ananda

I have had one time where i simply "white knuckled it" and didn't drink...wasn't in a "spiriutally fit" place at all.....I'm glad that I didn't drink. Don't drink if your a$$ falls off was all i had in that moment so i'm glad i used that.

I'm an alchoholic and my life is better today than it was when I drank...long term misery would probably result in my drinking...excuse or not.

Tazman53

I have heard it said in the rooms:

AA is not for those that need it, it is for those who want it!

I have to agree.