problemchild

Just got home, my day consisted of a noon meeting, then i went and got my new laptop so i can stay in touch with everyone when i am on the road. Meeting was great people were very helpful in my ongoing quest for the higher power problem, then went to sprint to get a new wireless modem they did not have the one i wanted, no biggie i have a wi fi card in the computer. I GET HOME AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS DRINK!!!!!!!!! WHY? Where in the hel* did this come from? just struggling and venting ...

Take care
John

CarolD

John...call one of your AA friends
or go for a walk....
and settle down to todays sobriety.

You don't have to drink...and you
can work thru this.

problemchild

Thank you Carol, i know you are right and i have talked to 3 people since i posted that. It just amazes me how this demon pops up outta no where, Thanks for being there hope your day is better than mine..

Take care,
John

problemchild

I just cant see why i have to convince me not to drink, hangovers are brutal and seem to get worse, never had dt's or anything but geez why would i put myself through the misery , i know its gonna be there if i drink so why do i even think of drinking. No brain surgeon here but dang am i that dumb ????????? Alcohol has cost me tremendously throughout my life, so why does one still crave what has basically killed ones self ?????????

problemchild

Yup i know cunning, powerful, baffling, but gd i am not a stupid person, sorry all, just very mad at my condition right now.Cravings suk

Julesy

Hi John,

I can relate to the "demon" thing. I get the same demon jumping on my shoulder trying to convince me to have a drink!!! It's a huge test on my willpower. It does feel so awesome though when I can blow him off. You can too. Hang in there buddy.

Hope

John-

I know this voice you speak of well.
It will pass. I had one of those yesterday where it was calling out for me and I held on moment to moment, reached out for support, and said "I Just won't drink *today*. I didn't even think of the next day. Just that day. And today, it's not there anymore. So it really does pass. You can get through this, John. Hang out here with us. We'll help you get through it.

CarolD

Ok...all I know is you almost died some months ago
and perhaps that is what will help you overcome just now.

I'll be praying for you John...you deserve to live sober.

Jfanagle

"so why do i even think of drinking. No brain surgeon here but dang am i that dumb ????????? Alcohol has cost me tremendously throughout my life, so why does one still crave what has basically killed ones self ?????????"

As trite as this sounds there is just one answer. Get ready here it comes:

WE ARE ALCOHOLICS! You seem to be doing the right things, KEEP IT UP.

Jon

Tommyh

a great example of a obsession to drink John

flutter

hang in there... I know (we all know) that voice. I'll go from remembering the ER, to thinking I have absolutely no cravings, to intense desire to find a way to drink. Many, many times a day.

I wont drink today, you don't have to either

BaldHeadedJohn

Stay strong. Sometimes those urges just happen out of the blue. Ride it out, call a friend, read a book. My thoughts are with you.

BHJ

Fulldresser4

One day...one hour...sometimes one minute at a time. You did the right thing by reaching out...you will be in my prayers.

NewDayNow

Hang in there John

Tazman53

John my brother of another mother, I know all to well that damn beast, I call it alcoholism, I spent a lot of years being a slave to the beast. The beast screamed at me and mentally tortured me after I got out of detox, meetings, praying, calling other alcoholics in recovery quieted the beast temporarily for me.

What locked the beast in a cage for me was working the steps with my sponsor, some time shortly after working steps 4/5 with my sponsor the door slammed shut on the beast for me!!! The obsession was lifted. For some that comes quickly, for some slowly, but as long as one continues to work at it the beast eventually gets locked away, at that point it is a matter of maintaining my spiritual condition fit.

John keep working at it, keep doing what you are doing, it will come in time. Do not get frustrated, remember that time takes time.

problemchild

Thanks all for the support, i made it through it and i am now in C.A will stay in touch more when i get the broadband modem, wi fi is cool but limited in spots throught the country.


Take care,
John

Texasblind

John,

I've been absent, but present if that makes sense. Just stay strong my friend.

Tex.

problemchild

Hi all, finally got the modem, anyway's i am now in clifton N.J delivered a load this mourning and will be here until tommorow, have a few friends (sober) up here so i am going to a meeting later tonight with them.Kinda hard being up here use to live close by and go into the city and bars and all that crap, so i think a meeting is in order. Will check in later, going to enjoy this rainy weather with a short nap..

Take care,
John