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Struggling.

Old 10-19-2008, 11:44 AM
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Struggling.

I have been sober now for nearly two months and felt I was doing great until about a week ago when the urges to drink have been getting so strong at the end of the day when I am cooking dinner which is when I always used to drink.
I have substituted alcohol with soda & tonic, or ginger beer and that was fine, but now there is a monkey on my shoulder saying " go on, add a little vodka"
I am always alone at this time of the day which makes it easy to be tempted as I was a secretive drinker anyway. Please if anyone has any tips to help I would so love to hear from you.
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Old 10-19-2008, 11:58 AM
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Hey Jules

Always good to see another kiwi.

Have you thought about cooking dinner, at an earlier or later time?
Ringing a friend while cooking dinner?

You may just need a change of routine so your habits aren't the same old same old.

Recovery is about change.
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Old 10-19-2008, 01:57 PM
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wow.. my story exactly, down to the vodka. My husband works weird hours, and I'm a 9-5er, so that's when I'd start drinking too (dinner time). I loved pouring a drink and cooking (no idea what the correlation is!! haha). I've been most successful with changing the time that I cook. Now, I usually go to the gym during the time that I'd be cooking, and by the time I'm back to do my doggie's injection (7:30-8pm), it's just a different time of day and I'm all thrown off my normal schedule so I cook, eat, and chill. I think the working out thing in place of when I used to drink has helped me overall.

Just my .02
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Old 10-19-2008, 02:10 PM
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Hi Julesy,
Glad to see another kiwi too
I agree with Lizw and flutter about changing your routine. Cooking dinner is one of my trigger times too. Is it possible for you to prepare some of the ingredients in the morning or the night before, so that in the evening you don't have so much to do, and don't have to linger over making dinner which is your trigger time?
Or if you have kids, get them to come and help with little tasks, then it becomes family time, and you will be busy talking to them, which can be a welcome distraction from inside your thoughts.
Congratulations on making it this far, too that is awesome!
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Old 10-19-2008, 02:42 PM
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Order takeout instead! the heck with the cooking. But seriously, change up the routine some maybe that would help.
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Old 10-19-2008, 03:04 PM
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Takeout.

I'm a mix it up kind of person too.

Much luck to ya.
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Old 10-19-2008, 05:12 PM
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The local AA/Alano Club has meetings scheduled for 6 and 8pm, no doubt intended to coincide with happy hour and the time folks formerly began their drinking. Is there a meeting near you after work?
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Old 10-20-2008, 12:37 AM
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Hi Julesy While I agree with the change of routine. I always find that working with another drunk works best for me. You say you are 2 months sober, this makes you sober longer then the person that is one month sober. This means you have been doing something right The point I am making is that you have something to share with someone else. I don't know if you do meetings or not but you will find that you have lots to share even for someone that has been sober a while. sometimes we forget about the early days struggle. I have been sober almost 20 years and it does me good to remember how hard it was in the early days. Sweetheart pat yourself on the back cause you are doing great and remember you deserve that absolute best. :ghug3
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Old 10-20-2008, 01:38 PM
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Originally Posted by lilbex View Post
Hi Julesy While I agree with the change of routine. I always find that working with another drunk works best for me. You say you are 2 months sober, this makes you sober longer then the person that is one month sober. This means you have been doing something right The point I am making is that you have something to share with someone else. I don't know if you do meetings or not but you will find that you have lots to share even for someone that has been sober a while. sometimes we forget about the early days struggle. I have been sober almost 20 years and it does me good to remember how hard it was in the early days. Sweetheart pat yourself on the back cause you are doing great and remember you deserve that absolute best. :ghug3
Hey becks, great to see you!!! :day4
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Old 10-20-2008, 04:11 PM
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Hi julesy,

You have started a wonderful thread. There is tons of good advice here. Changing things around and companionship(especially an alcoholic) if available are powerful trigger stoppers. I’ve had to work some long hours lately. I was a secret drinker and being alone is a big trigger for me. It’s during those times changing everything seems to be important.

AA meetings are very helpful.

You may want to dump the soda & tonic and ginger beer. If drinking were a religion those things could be icons. Atleast for you
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Old 10-20-2008, 04:30 PM
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Julesy-
You can do this.

Blessed be!
BHJ
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:53 AM
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Some excellent suggestions, what I would add because I like you was a closet drinker (In my garage actually) is to call another recovering alcoholic and talk while fixing your meal. When I first got sober I would go into the house after work instead of the garage and call other alcoholics just to chat and see how they were doing. What surprised me was that they thanked me for calling them, they told me it helped them to stay sober just as much as it helped me.
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