tryingtostop08

Hi. Ive been an alcoholic for around a dozen years, when I hit 21 that was pretty much all she wrote for me. I drink beer mainly but ill drink jack/coke and/or vodka/oj depending on my mood. Ive told myself countless times after remorseful binges that I would not do it again, and then later on once the remorse fades and the stress level rises I would give in and tell myself that I will try to limit and control myself while drinking which has never worked and I always end up with a bigger mess on my hands than the last time around. I have been sober for 11 days now, which I don't think I have done in years. The 1st few days were rough as the cravings were completely in control. They tapered off a bit around the 4th day but now I can feel them coming back again. My main trigger is stress. When I get stressful about something (or especially multiple things) then that overwealming urge to drink it away comes with a vengeance. How do some of you deal with the stress?

ANGELINA243

Wow! You sound alot like me--alot in common here. First of all, congrats on 11 days--AWESOME! Stress can be relieved many ways--I call someone in the program when I get stressed....that helps, pray--say the serenity prayer or whatever comes to mind at that moment, take a deep breath--try to think before I respond especially when angry, sometimes go for a walk, journaling has helped etc.

Tazman53

Welcome to SR tryingtostop, I have learned to deal with stress via the 12 steps of AA & the fellowship of AA.

For many years I used to do as you are doing now, I would simply quit drinking! What I found was that I would go through times where I was just fine and then suddenly many times for no real reason at all I was totally stressed out, I was irritable, anxious and wanted a drink BAD!!!! Well I would convince myself that obviously I could handle drinking now so I would have a drink............. I always wound up drinking just as much if not more then what I did before I quit the last time.

What I found was when I quit drinking and did nothing more I was simply dry and still suffering from untreated alcoholism!

I had to change, I found that change in AA.

justanothrdrunk

Do you go to AA and work the 12 steps?

Whenever I get stressed, I go back to step 3.

tryingtostop08

Thanks for the replies. I have been trying to stay occupied with something to keep my mind off of it but all it takes is a simple thought of getting a drink and then I will crave. I am out of work at the moment also which isn't helping matters any. I lost my license because of a DUI conviction 2 months ago and was forced to quit my job because it required that I have a license to drive the trucks. Now the bills are piling up and so is the stress level. I have tried AA in the past, i've even read alot of the book, but I didn't really like the setting. The one I went to seemed more like a high school than an AA meeting. I ended up getting into a petty disagreement with one of the head honchos (smug/arrogant sob) and got the cold shoulder from a majority of the people in there so I never went back to that one, and likely wont again either. That didn't diminish my opinion of AA as a whole though. I'm not good at speaking to large crowds (social anxiety, I suppose) which also doesn't help.

Hilltopper1972

Trying,

I think you are trying to control all aspects of your life still rather than giving it up to a higher being, whatever that may be for you. I know people around AA and SR say that a lot, but it really means something to me now. It doesn't mean you don't take responsibility for your actions, but you need some help here. One thing that may motivate you a tad is this. You are out of work with a DUI, have bills piling up, etc. But, you are sober. Do you know how motivated, energetic, and accomplished a sober person can be? Take that feeling of refreshness and clarity and go change things. The no car thing is hard to overcome, but what about doing inside sales or collections from your house? That solves the commute problem and now that you are sober, I think you'll find you are full of vigor and determination.

Hill

PaulN

I went for a period of time myself by just reading the book. It's when I began applying it, that things changed.

I'm glad to hear your meeting experience didn't shut you down completely about AA. I can't speak to the meeting you attended, but I'll simply say not all meetings are alike.

Your local phone book will have a number under AA. There will probably be some sort of hot line or answering service number in there. Give some thought to calling it. Ask to speak with someone the same sex as you and tell them what you told us here. Explain your meeting experience and see if your able to meet & talk with another person rather than a large group. They will gladly oblige.

AA doesn't claim to have the only solution to alcoholism. But the solution they do have, works. If you're truly tired of being sick & tired and are willing to try anything to keep from living the way you are, then AA may be just what you're looking for. Remember ... it isn't for people who need it, it's for people who want it.

Tazman53

tryingtostop if you are dead set against going back to AA there are other recovery programs. In your situation though AA could be a God send in more ways then you can imagine. First of all you have a ready made network of people who have been right where you are at now, out of work and no license who have found not only a job that does not require a license and have found sobriety as well.

Just show up a bit early to a meeting and mention to someone there your situation, I am sure they can hook you up with someone who can get you pointed in the right direction for a job. To me one of the best things about AA is there are no rules, if someone does ask you to share just say "No thanks, I am just listening." If you do not want to participate in any other manner then to just listen that is fine.

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking, heck I have been to a meeting drunk on my butt and was still made to feel welcome.... of course I didn't make a stink in the meeting. I know a guy who went to a meeting every day for a year before he ever spoke a word in a meeting.

tryingtostop08

Thanks everyone. My fiance has been my "AA" I guess you can say for the last couple of weeks (she's always complained about my drinking though). She is an ex-drinker who managed to quit on her own some years ago. One part of her "plan" is to get rid of all of my drinking buddies/old drug addict friends (I don't have a problem with drugs, only drinking) all together. This has not been easy to do however, as they call me or come over in the middle of the night unannounced drunker/higher than hell and still constantly blow my phone up either sobbing about how s**tty their life is or they needing me for something (to fix their computer again, or something). We both know that the instant I go around any of them it all goes out the window, they couldn't care less about my sobriety. Now I don't want to be an a*hole to them, but I don't know how to make them go away on good terms. I have been giving AA some more thought, and when I get to the point where I am absolutely positive that I will end up with a drink in my hand before the day is over then I will try to go to another group, getting transportation plays a factor however.

tryingtostop08

Ive been thinking about starting an ebay business on the side for awhile now, but other than that I haven't had much luck in that dept.

Tommyh

I was a stressed out kid before I ever took a drink.While the steps and AA has been a tremendous help,it has sometimes been slow.
I am involved in a thing called CBT(cognitive behavior therapy) which is a non-medical program for stress/aniexity relief.I have come to realize it comes from within me,and to identify certain outside situations which I think causes it.I call this situational stress.Only certain things gets to me.I have made progress too,but the journey is ongoing.
I do certain breathing exercises to slow down breathing and to relax with it.
i would suggest doing a google search to research it and then you can find something suitable for you.

Welcome to the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety
is one link.If you go there,in the top right corner of the page is a link to "community".That li9nk takes you to the message board.Good luck!

CarolD

I found an interesting job by talking about
the need for one with my AA friends.

I can not drive anymore due to my vision.
Again...my AA friends come to my rescue.
I just got home from...paying Comcast....Going to my bank..
Early voting...Brunch and an AA meeting.

If druggies and drunks are banging on your dorr
call the cops. You certainly don't consider they
are friends do you? If so..you need new friends.

Call your creditors and explain your financial
situation. Many times they will work with you.
Avoiding the problem causes stress...IMO

Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum

digderidoo

What i soon realised was that all the emotions a 'normal' person feels, we have learnt to suppress with alcohol. So soon after giving up the drink, all these feelings come back and we do not know how to deal with them. It's a steep learning curve that can and will be learned.

Stress was a hard one for me to deal with, mainly because i knew that a can of beer would be a quick fix. What i had to do was to firstly identify what was making me stressful. Then secondly, dealing with that issue head on. For me staring these issues in the face when they come along and dealing with it, was something i had to quickly learn. I had never done that before, but if i did not face my fears and deal with issues quickly, stress would soon reach a boiling point.

It's a whole new way of living. Best wishes with your journey.

Paul

soidog

I am like you in the sense that stress is probably one of the main sources that trigger drinking for me, and I do have a quite stressful job. Beyond what others have said, regular exercise is another obvious option that works wonders for me.

Additionally, taking the right amount of vacation time away from things is essential. Its an obvious answer but I feel so many people under-value the power of just taking a vacation. One thing I have noticed about "stressed-out" people is that they are often workaholics in the sense that they can't remove work from their lives, and believe that taking vacation time off is not good because maybe its not pleasing for the boss, its not productive, etc.. As more and more stress builds up the easier it is to fall prey to those nagging urges to pop open a beer (or 12) when a stressful day happens at work.

Thus, taking off vacation regularly to cool off has become an essential form of release for me. Especially a "complete" vacation - get away from your place of residence, no internet, no tv, no 24 hour news...just head out to the country with a good book and your favorite tunes.

Good luck!

Tazman53

A ride to an AA meeting is just a phone call away! Call your local AA hotline and they can arrange for someone to swing by and give you a ride. No you are not putting anyone out, a major part of AA recovery is helping other alcoholics to stay sober, I enjoy giving folks rides to meetings, gives me someone to talk to and I feel better knowing I helped some one.

tryingtostop08

Excellent idea. If I can convince her to get off this weekend (perhaps a 3 day weekend) then we could go up to the NC mountains for the weekend and rent a cabin, maybe do some white water rafting. The leaves are starting to change up there so it should be very pretty. It shouldn't cost a whole lot. Might be just what I needed.

psyk0

-Swimming (in the evening)
-Poker
-A good movie

Clutch B

Glad you're here! When I'm stressed out, I'll ...

• Go to a meeting and ask to help with something there (ex: make coffee, greet people, help open the meeting with one of the readings, clean up, etc)
• Call another alcoholic
• Meet up with a sober friend at a coffee shop
• Ride motorcycle
• Photography
• Walk on a nature trail (bring camera, take pictures)
• Go to public place and "people watch" (do NOT bring camera, LOL!!!)
• Make a "gratitude list"
• Journal
• Do something mindless, like play an old video game

Some of my friends have other hobbies that help them, like fishing, sewing, painting, mechanics, model RC airplanes, etc. Having a hobby can help.

Tommyh

Paul,excelant post!

hall

one advice for those who are in alcohol, once think about your future while addicting to alcohol due to drinking alcohol you have to face many problems. while you think drinking alcohol is the only way to control stress it is not correct you may think of yoga or meditation and try it.