DJMH

I never hit my kids. I never hit my wife. As a matter of fact I was kind of a fun guy to be around. Yet my wife still left me.

Because this is my first rock bottom, because this is my first marriage, because I am only 6 days into sobriety, my mind isnt right yet. I did a google search and found out that most wifes never will let their alcoholic husbands back in their life.

Also did a search and found that while a great deal of the medical community like AMA and others consider our problem a disease, most docs dont. Because most docs are ignorant due to lack of adequate training during there school years.

So I now live hour to hour, day to day. Not so much to take that next drink, but just surviving in the horrors I have created. I am so ashamed, mad, upset, that there are those moments like now, when I dont know what to think.

I had my first counseling session yesterday, and he will get into that monster feeling I have next week or so.

But....I DID THIS. I DESTROYED MY MARRIAGE. I dont even know where my kids are.

ANGELINA243

Glad you are here. Keep reaching out and posting. You are not alone.

Rowan

I'm also glad that you are here. Read the Sticky's at the top of this forum if you haven't already - I suggest a recovery program or some form of f2f support.

You are not alone - many of us know what it's like to lose loved ones as we enter recovery.

Keep posting. Don't drink. Things don't have to get any worse before they get better.

Peter

No us alcoholics may not necessarily be monsters but we can sure leave a trail of wreackage behind us. Relationships are usually counted among the things we destroy.

Based on my own experiences and observations i tend to agree with the notion that broken alcoholic marriages are seldom ever restored. The good news however is that in recovery we learn to let go and move on. the pain of our loss will be excruciating and sometimes unbearable. I thought I would die after my break up. You won't die but you will get stronger. Just don't drink no matter what may come.

Chops

Your way ahead of me when I had 6 days I thought it was everyone else's fault. I was still the victim.

My fiancee walked out on me, never hit her, never yelled at her for that matter, she said that she simply was not going to hang around and watch me kill myself. The booze became more important than her, she was right to take off. I don't have kids in the picture so I cannot imagine your pain.

I wouldn't google to find the odds of your wife coming back, but, I do know the odds decreased for me of having any type of relationship with anybody including myself as I continued to drink.

You'll have to figure out what is hurting you for yourself.

Good Luck,

C

PS Your not a monster...your a drunk or whatever your addiction is, it is a disease but not an excuse, I mix the two up sometimes.

Freedom1990

You're a sick person trying to get well, not a monster.

It was really painful for me to realize that spouses don't walk away from 'fun' people, because I thought I was fun too.

I urge you to at least try AA to help you in your recovery, as well as your counselor.

JockLarcher

Sober is better, always, always better.
You can only deal wisely with what has happened by being sober.
You are not alone. We all have our reasons to be here.
Sober is better, always, always better.

NoelleR

"...Also did a search and found that while a great deal of the medical community like AMA and others consider our problem a disease, most docs dont. Because most docs are ignorant due to lack of adequate training during there school years..."

I don't know who did that original research, but the AMA is made up of doctors (most doctors belong to the AMA, along with their respective state's medical associations), therefore doctors DO recognized alcoholism as a disease.

wooforever

First off you need to worry about getting yourself in a stable place. It is always one day at a time right now. As for your wife leaving with the kids. That was choice she made and at the time she thought is was the right one.

When you get to a point were you are okay with yourself you can always gt a lawyer and someone to find your kids. If it was meant to be then it will happen.