tomorrow is one week.
judge only yourself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: osaka, japan
Posts: 67
tomorrow is one week.
I am feeling pretty stoked. After tomorrow I will have my first full week of being sober in a long time.
This weekend was tough I must admit...I really need to rework my environments and I am unsure how.
I went on a date on friday night and she fully wanted me to drink. I refused all night and made it through but that was too close. At one point part of me got really tempted. But I wrote a list of my worst hangovers and how I felt and I have made a rule for myself that if i ever feel like drinking I need to read that first.
It definitely works. I have found rehashing the worst of times I have had drinking keeps my mind sick at the thought of picking up a drink.
Tonight I had a business dinner to go to with friends which was enjoyable. No one gave me a hard time about not drinking. but after they wanted to hot a bunch of bars and I endured a bot of nagging, yet at the same time some people were supportive even as they took sips of their drinks.
Afterwards the best friend I have showed up to hang out. I had told him earlier that i would be happy to hang out but that I would not be drinking anymore. He said he understood and would not be drinking tonight either.
Yet when he showed up he was drunk and wanted to go out drinking. Luckily I persuaded him to go to places were I could escape drinking instead of bars where nothing but drinking would be the focus.
Still like I said this is all too close to drinking. And I fully realize these also pose as poor environments in which to stay sober.
I need to figure out activities I can do with others that do not include any sort of drinking atmosphere yet still allow me to feel like I had a night out and made the most of my weekend (also I would like to continue with the dating scene without the pressure of alcohol)
So my thoughts are that this week will serve as planning time for creating or exploring new hang out environments around my area that still allow me to be social without any alcoholic presence. This will definitely present a challenge so I am open to any ideas.
This weekend was tough I must admit...I really need to rework my environments and I am unsure how.
I went on a date on friday night and she fully wanted me to drink. I refused all night and made it through but that was too close. At one point part of me got really tempted. But I wrote a list of my worst hangovers and how I felt and I have made a rule for myself that if i ever feel like drinking I need to read that first.
It definitely works. I have found rehashing the worst of times I have had drinking keeps my mind sick at the thought of picking up a drink.
Tonight I had a business dinner to go to with friends which was enjoyable. No one gave me a hard time about not drinking. but after they wanted to hot a bunch of bars and I endured a bot of nagging, yet at the same time some people were supportive even as they took sips of their drinks.
Afterwards the best friend I have showed up to hang out. I had told him earlier that i would be happy to hang out but that I would not be drinking anymore. He said he understood and would not be drinking tonight either.
Yet when he showed up he was drunk and wanted to go out drinking. Luckily I persuaded him to go to places were I could escape drinking instead of bars where nothing but drinking would be the focus.
Still like I said this is all too close to drinking. And I fully realize these also pose as poor environments in which to stay sober.
I need to figure out activities I can do with others that do not include any sort of drinking atmosphere yet still allow me to feel like I had a night out and made the most of my weekend (also I would like to continue with the dating scene without the pressure of alcohol)
So my thoughts are that this week will serve as planning time for creating or exploring new hang out environments around my area that still allow me to be social without any alcoholic presence. This will definitely present a challenge so I am open to any ideas.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
well for dating how about dinner and a movie? Or just the movie...My only 2 dates in 15 years were going out for coffee and I really like that.
One thing that helps with friends who still drink is to meet them at a time when they won't have started drinking .... like early morning breakfast or 9:00 game of golf...something like that.
Sticking by the boundries I set is important for me also...I won't stay or talk for more than about 20 minites with someone who is obviously drinking or drugged.
Hope that helps...lots of others should have ideas.
Oh and that is really great that you have a week!!!!!
One thing that helps with friends who still drink is to meet them at a time when they won't have started drinking .... like early morning breakfast or 9:00 game of golf...something like that.
Sticking by the boundries I set is important for me also...I won't stay or talk for more than about 20 minites with someone who is obviously drinking or drugged.
Hope that helps...lots of others should have ideas.
Oh and that is really great that you have a week!!!!!
Ph.D in insanity!!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 698
Wow that was a great first step and a ton of self control.
When I first quit drinking I went out and caved in. It was a challenge to go out and not drink. I remember the first time I did it and how bored I was. How annoyed I was at all the people drinking because I used to be one of them.
I also used the "remember the hang over" feeling. If I think about it now I can still remember the feeling of my throat aching from throwing up. How my hair smelled of cigerette smoke and it honestly took me a week to recover.
I haven't touched it since.
Since I wasn't an alcoholic but a good binge drinker I don't know how long it's been. I never counted but I know it's been way over a year. I saw I had very irresponsible behavior and I hated how it made me feel.
I think you are doing an awesome job. Dating is very tough. I have yet to find a non drinker or a responsible one.
When I first quit drinking I went out and caved in. It was a challenge to go out and not drink. I remember the first time I did it and how bored I was. How annoyed I was at all the people drinking because I used to be one of them.
I also used the "remember the hang over" feeling. If I think about it now I can still remember the feeling of my throat aching from throwing up. How my hair smelled of cigerette smoke and it honestly took me a week to recover.
I haven't touched it since.
Since I wasn't an alcoholic but a good binge drinker I don't know how long it's been. I never counted but I know it's been way over a year. I saw I had very irresponsible behavior and I hated how it made me feel.
I think you are doing an awesome job. Dating is very tough. I have yet to find a non drinker or a responsible one.
judge only yourself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: osaka, japan
Posts: 67
stubborn1 - you pretty much hit the nail on the head for how i felt last night. it was really boring to hang out with them while they drank. Also, with finding a girl who does not drink or does not mind that I do not want to is probably going to be one of my biggest challenges here because its so socially acceptable.
ananda - those are good ideas I can definitely use that. what do you do for night time? Only hang out with sober friends at night?
ananda - those are good ideas I can definitely use that. what do you do for night time? Only hang out with sober friends at night?
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