todd6138

You cant go wrong with meetings! I would suggest at least talking to a certified alcohol/drug therapist and get an assessment. you could be suffering from depression or something that needs professional advice. Stay with SR; you can get a lot of support here even though it isnt face to face meetings.

tommy79

Thanks as ever everyone. Boleo: that makes a lot of sense to me, thanks. I think many of us have this fantasy that not only are we going to recover, we're also going to be one of those amazingly successful recovering alkies who everyone says, "Really? They're an alcoholic?" about. In fact this is typical alcoholic thinking - needing to be special, to be better, different, whatever, part of the same way of thinking that got us here in the first place.

The Big Book doesn't promise success and glory; just a toolkit to help us deal with whatever life throws at us. This is yet another childish fantasy I need to throw away. I keep thinking about how, if I get sober now, I'm still young enough to "make it" in my 30s etc, then projecting this exciting future for myself. And then I can't even stay sober for one day! It's ridiculous...I need to scale down everything to just one day at a time and lots of meetings. Life needs to be simple and humble for me at the moment, not grandiose.

Bit of a ramble, sorry. Hope some people here got something from that. Off to a meeting tonight...wish me luck!...

Chops

That was one hell of a good "ramble", basically described me, dealing with the ego and lofty expectations / projections. I am coming to terms that all the program promises is a day of sobriety and I am just a bozo on the bus, thanks mate.

C

Cathy31

Oh Tommy ( ) I liked what you wrote about keeping things humble for now and not getting all grandiose, lol I know that feeling all too well! I also liked what everyone else had to say too...there's such great support here...and in meetings.

It's just really all there for the taking as you so eloquently put it...why don't we grasp it immediately, I don't know...what I do know is that it works, and that if you do GRAB IT (recovery) meetings, spnosor, stepwork, HP and service...you WILL 'make it' on so many many levels! Just do it!! Please keep us posted!!!

As corny as it sounds my best day drunk is nothing compared to my worst day sober, I hope I grasp this miracle every day for the rest of my days.

Cathy31
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