beingjenagain

Last night I was so mad at my husband. He drinks (and i think too much but thats another post) and was enjoying beer after beer while my daughter and I were at Girl Scouts. When I cam home I was annoyed with him the minute he spoke but I just moved on. We all watched Survivor and he kept drinking. Well then he went to bed and I proceeded to clean up the kitchen. He left 1/3 of a beer on the counter. I looked at it and looked at it. I didn't want to drink it and I poured it down the sink without a thought. I really didn't have a desire but I was just so mad at him for just leaving it. It was so inconsiderate. So I spent the night being mad at him. And off he went to work and I was still mad at him.

Then I thought about it. He didn't even know I was pissed. So he called me about something or another and I told him how I felt. I said that although I may apper to have it all together I am an alcoholic. he agreed and apoligized. If I had never told him he wouldn't have know!!

Certainly this won't solve all the problems we have but it definetly a step in the right direction. I can't hold him responsible for something he doesnt even know about!

SlvrMag

I am finding this out. Thank you, your post has really helped me!

Anna

Oh yes, it's true. Sometimes simply communicating our feelings can make a world of difference.

beingjenagain

I will just keep working and working this communication thing. Maybe one day he will here me the first time instead of te 20th. Oh wait its trash night, let me go remind him!!!!

Stubborn1

Back in the days my ah would drink out of the bottles and I hated seeing them and didn't want our little one's to remember them lying around the house. Also......every picture of my ah has a drink next to him. UGH
So I made a rule that he would pour his drink in a glass.
Now I do not allow it anywhere near the house.......or him either

Tommyh

Jen,my wife reminds me one of the best things we can do is communicate.When the communication is gone,our marriage will be gone too.

so,we try to improve in our communication.I really dropped the ball today,I was helping her in the kitchen and I did something wrong, right after she told me how to do it,and I almost ruined what we was working on ( because I just had my mind elsewhere I did not hear her,) she got ticked at me for about 10 seconds and let me have it.5 minutes later she made amends and we are ok now.

oh well,thats how good relationships are made

Latte

I need a little time to think through something and then I talk about it. I tend to get really pissed and yell if I deal with it right away but if I wait for 30 minutes or so I can talk about it and get it all out.

Oh, and DH doesn't even bring alcohol in the house. He does go over to a friends house on occasion to have A beer. He is a normie, and it works for us.

Cathy31

Jen
One of the gifts of my sobriety has been learning to say what I need...and say how I feel...well done on speaking your truth! You are doing great!
Your sister in recovery,
Cathy31
x

Tazman53

So very true, my first wife and I had very serious issues because she would get mad at me and I would have no idea why? I would beg her to tell me what I had done and she never would tell me. She on occasion would not talk to me for 2-3 days and I still would have no idea what I had done.

We went to therapy about that and the therapist told her that I could not correct what I did not know. In the long run it did not matter, she went through a period of insanity that ended our marriage and left me to raise our 3 kids.

Jen let him know what bugs you and you may be pleasently suprised, stay sober and he may just stop himself.