Long term relapse pattern.
Retired Pro Drunk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Long term relapse pattern.
My sobriety date is 7/7/07. So that puts me at... almost 15 months here.
I have a pattern of relapsing right about now. And by "now" I mean at around 15-16 months of sobriety. I have twice before been sober for over a year and twice before picked up and started using again at about the 16-18 month mark. If you think my numbers are a little funny, I'm of the belief that the relapse happens weeks before I pick up again. By the time I pick up and use again, the relapse is over. I'm not relapsing any more; I'm using.
It's good (in a way) that I am aware of this. It means I can take action now even though I feel spiritually fit at the moment. I have been talking with peers and my sponsor about my pattern and asking for extra help during this time so that I can finally break this one aspect of my cycle.
The second time I had a year of sobriety under my belt, I took it for granted. I thought it was no big deal. I did it before so who cares if I do it again? This time I will take not one day sober for granted.
Even if I go out tomorrow and drink (which I doubt will happen), nothing can take away the time I have right now. I think that I used to have the attitude where when I did relapse, all the sober time that preceeded it was wasted. I've learned that it wasn't wasted. Every day sober is a gift that can never be lost.
I have a pattern of relapsing right about now. And by "now" I mean at around 15-16 months of sobriety. I have twice before been sober for over a year and twice before picked up and started using again at about the 16-18 month mark. If you think my numbers are a little funny, I'm of the belief that the relapse happens weeks before I pick up again. By the time I pick up and use again, the relapse is over. I'm not relapsing any more; I'm using.
It's good (in a way) that I am aware of this. It means I can take action now even though I feel spiritually fit at the moment. I have been talking with peers and my sponsor about my pattern and asking for extra help during this time so that I can finally break this one aspect of my cycle.
The second time I had a year of sobriety under my belt, I took it for granted. I thought it was no big deal. I did it before so who cares if I do it again? This time I will take not one day sober for granted.
Even if I go out tomorrow and drink (which I doubt will happen), nothing can take away the time I have right now. I think that I used to have the attitude where when I did relapse, all the sober time that preceeded it was wasted. I've learned that it wasn't wasted. Every day sober is a gift that can never be lost.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
"Even if I go out tomorrow and drink (which I doubt will happen), nothing can take away the time I have right now."
That kind of sentence worries me. I would say that type of thing to myself so it wouldn't seem "so bad" if I drank again...that I didn't lose that time....that it's just a little hiccup. But please remember, if you do drink/use again, that can be THE LAST TIME....that little amount of time CAN KILL YOU.
That kind of sentence worries me. I would say that type of thing to myself so it wouldn't seem "so bad" if I drank again...that I didn't lose that time....that it's just a little hiccup. But please remember, if you do drink/use again, that can be THE LAST TIME....that little amount of time CAN KILL YOU.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: sacramento california
Posts: 217
i keep hearing that awareness is the first thing to learn if change is to happen; i admire your courage to realize that any sober time is not wasted time; i am new and still struggling to get more than a day or two at a time; thank you for posting this
Retired Pro Drunk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Originally Posted by Bamboozle 
Hey, jad, is there someone you can call or reach out to? Hang in there.
Not having struggles at the moment. I was just sharing some thoughts I had about how things happened in the past and what I am actively doing to avoid it happening again.
Thanks for the concern. But read this as a positive post.
Retired Pro Drunk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Originally Posted by dancinggirl
"Even if I go out tomorrow and drink (which I doubt will happen), nothing can take away the time I have right now."
That kind of sentence worries me. I would say that type of thing to myself so it wouldn't seem "so bad" if I drank again...that I didn't lose that time....that it's just a little hiccup. But please remember, if you do drink/use again, that can be THE LAST TIME....that little amount of time CAN KILL YOU.
That kind of sentence worries me. I would say that type of thing to myself so it wouldn't seem "so bad" if I drank again...that I didn't lose that time....that it's just a little hiccup. But please remember, if you do drink/use again, that can be THE LAST TIME....that little amount of time CAN KILL YOU.
The point I was trying to make is that no matter what happens in the future, nothing can take away my time in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 25
I can totally understand what you are going through, although I'm currently just trying to get a few days together, there was a time I had several years. What I might suggest is instead of going out and becoming a wet-brained newcomer, Have you thought about just going back to treating yourself like a newcomer before you are one again? Think back to the extremes you went to when you got sober again last time and just go ahead and do that again before you have to detox and do it again anyway. Make any sense?
Retired Pro Drunk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Note to self:
Folks can't read my mind when posting on message boards. Even though I have my certain spin on things, others can take things in a totally different way.
Just to be clear here everyone, today recovery is going well. I wanted to share some of my experience about a bit of my past and mistakes that I made as well as how I'm going forward in actively trying to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Again, I appreciate the concern. All is well!
Folks can't read my mind when posting on message boards. Even though I have my certain spin on things, others can take things in a totally different way.
Just to be clear here everyone, today recovery is going well. I wanted to share some of my experience about a bit of my past and mistakes that I made as well as how I'm going forward in actively trying to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Again, I appreciate the concern. All is well!
Retired Pro Drunk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Originally Posted by RufusACanal
What do you do to stay sober one day at a time justanotherdrunk? I too, had periods of over a year and returned to drinking.
Today it's prayer/meditation, and staying in contact with peers in AA. I'm also working on step 10 in my step work.
In general, it's meetings, working with a sponsor, working with others, fellowship with peers, praryer/meditation, step work, service, reading the BB. Abstinence helps too...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Hey justanothrdrunk ---
I had a couple of thoughts while reading your posts and and the replies of others here.....
My first thought was/is.....whenever I hear/read about someone saying/writing that they seem to get X sober time and then relapse....my question is usually....."Did you ever think that perhaps that's all the time you're giving yourself permission to have (one week?, one month?, six months?, 15-17/16-18 months?).....?"
Like someone else here said....."...What do you do to stay sober one day at a time..." ---- whatever you're doing for the day, just keep repeating it every day....and give yourself permission to be sober for the rest of your life (one day at a time).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...Even if I go out tomorrow and drink (which I doubt will happen), nothing can take away the time I have right now...The point I was trying to make is that no matter what happens in the future, nothing can take away my time in recovery... I was just sharing some thoughts I had about how things happened in the past and what I am actively doing to avoid it happening again..." ----
I agree that a person doesn't lose all their past recovery time.....but....I also think that perhaps there was something they were doing that they shouldn'a oughta been doing, or perhaps there was something they shoulda oughta been doing that they weren't doing...or maybe even perhaps they were doing all they shoulda been doing (even including working the steps), and not doing all the things they shouldn't have been doing, but perhaps they weren't doing or working those things the best way they could be done/worked for them. Clear, eh? ...... LOL (if you could see my hand gestures, it would all be clear....clear as mud.....lol).
If you have been able to wade through that last paragraph, and understood a bit of it, then maybe you will understand why I usually believe that a person needs to go back to Step-One, and start all over again when coming back from a relapse....perhaps not as in depth as in times past, but a going over at least (something was amiss, I believe).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm also a firm believer in changing one's thinking.....like change 'relapse is a part of recovery' (grrrrr, I don't even like typing that), which is definitely NOT true.....to thinking, 'relapse may have been a part of my past, but it is not a part of my recovery now.'
....and yes I believe in affirmations too ..... not saying things to make them true, but saying truths to remind oneself of the truth.....one of my favorites, although not a recovery affirmation (but it could be), is.....: I am getting better and better every day in every way!
Keep on trudgin' the road..... (o:
NoelleR
I had a couple of thoughts while reading your posts and and the replies of others here.....
My first thought was/is.....whenever I hear/read about someone saying/writing that they seem to get X sober time and then relapse....my question is usually....."Did you ever think that perhaps that's all the time you're giving yourself permission to have (one week?, one month?, six months?, 15-17/16-18 months?).....?"
Like someone else here said....."...What do you do to stay sober one day at a time..." ---- whatever you're doing for the day, just keep repeating it every day....and give yourself permission to be sober for the rest of your life (one day at a time).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...Even if I go out tomorrow and drink (which I doubt will happen), nothing can take away the time I have right now...The point I was trying to make is that no matter what happens in the future, nothing can take away my time in recovery... I was just sharing some thoughts I had about how things happened in the past and what I am actively doing to avoid it happening again..." ----
I agree that a person doesn't lose all their past recovery time.....but....I also think that perhaps there was something they were doing that they shouldn'a oughta been doing, or perhaps there was something they shoulda oughta been doing that they weren't doing...or maybe even perhaps they were doing all they shoulda been doing (even including working the steps), and not doing all the things they shouldn't have been doing, but perhaps they weren't doing or working those things the best way they could be done/worked for them. Clear, eh? ...... LOL (if you could see my hand gestures, it would all be clear....clear as mud.....lol).
If you have been able to wade through that last paragraph, and understood a bit of it, then maybe you will understand why I usually believe that a person needs to go back to Step-One, and start all over again when coming back from a relapse....perhaps not as in depth as in times past, but a going over at least (something was amiss, I believe).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm also a firm believer in changing one's thinking.....like change 'relapse is a part of recovery' (grrrrr, I don't even like typing that), which is definitely NOT true.....to thinking, 'relapse may have been a part of my past, but it is not a part of my recovery now.'
....and yes I believe in affirmations too ..... not saying things to make them true, but saying truths to remind oneself of the truth.....one of my favorites, although not a recovery affirmation (but it could be), is.....: I am getting better and better every day in every way!
Keep on trudgin' the road..... (o:
NoelleR
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Congratulations on your sobriety!! Glad your posting instead of drinking.
My only thought would be to maybe double up on meetings (if your in AA) for a couple of weeks to celebrate your sobriety with other alcoholics. This would be a good way to share what you have obtained with others who would benefit from your experience.
Thanks for posting!
My only thought would be to maybe double up on meetings (if your in AA) for a couple of weeks to celebrate your sobriety with other alcoholics. This would be a good way to share what you have obtained with others who would benefit from your experience.
Thanks for posting!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I have no personal experience to share on your situation.
I was in AA 5 years before I earned a 1 year medallion
but always had short term sobriety when I resumed drinking.
Prayers coming your your way...
I was in AA 5 years before I earned a 1 year medallion
but always had short term sobriety when I resumed drinking.
Prayers coming your your way...
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
I relapsed many times and asked myself; "what did I do to deserve this?"
The last time I relapsed I asked myself instead; "what did I FAIL to do to deserve this?"
Made a huge difference in how I stay spiritually fit.
The last time I relapsed I asked myself instead; "what did I FAIL to do to deserve this?"
Made a huge difference in how I stay spiritually fit.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Glad you're posting to let out feelings and strategies. It's good to hear you sounding so positive too, about avoiding the pitfalls that trapped you before. Sounds like you've got a good plan in motion for your sober safety.
:ghug3
:ghug3
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
On the rare occasions the thought of a drink pops into my head I ask myself:
"Do I want one more thing in my past that I will not regret nor wish to shut the door on?"
justanotherdrunk sounds like you have your stinking thinking monitor fine tuned right now!!! LOL
You are focusing on what you need to focus on, you have those anti-relapse guns cocked and loaded!
"Do I want one more thing in my past that I will not regret nor wish to shut the door on?"
justanotherdrunk sounds like you have your stinking thinking monitor fine tuned right now!!! LOL
You are focusing on what you need to focus on, you have those anti-relapse guns cocked and loaded!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
