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I Hate AA=My Reason

Old 09-23-2008, 07:53 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Tib, what you need is a chaperone and not A.A. If you can't pour your own drink down the drain, you need someone to do it for you. If you can't stay out of bars and liquor stores you need someone to grab you by the collar and lead you the other way. You need someone to put the cap back on the bottle every time you take it off because you can't seem to do it yourself.
You're going to die drunk unless you realize that there isn't anyone out there that is going to stop you from drinking.
This is all on you.
I'd offer more in the way of help but I don't want to be put on the list of people places and things to blame your drinking on.
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Old 09-23-2008, 08:43 AM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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Tib when push comes to shove AA support or any other programs support, the only person that can stop you from drinking is you. It even says that in the BB, that there will come a day when the only thing that stands between an alcoholic and a drink will be thier HP, not someone in AA, SMART, Rational Recovery or any other program, in the end it all is on you.

The most important thing I have learned in recovery is the only person I can blame is myself, basically I had to quit blaming every one and everything for my own problems.

Tib I spent a lot of years trying to quit drinking, but in the end until I was really ready to quit I kept on drinking.

Tib I pray you find what you need to find to help you stop drinking before you pay a price that you can not afford for it.

Keep searching, keep trying what ever, do not give up.

A rehab of any type could benefit you greatly if for nothing more then just staying sober for 28 days.

All the best my friend.
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:09 AM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tiburon88 View Post
TTOSBT, how do you know about my willingness to quit drink? Can you read peoples minds or something? A willingness to quit drinking is not always enough. Working with a sponser and attending daily AA meetings are not always enough either. Everyone loves to point out the "alternative" programs for recovery. The truth is those are very hard to find. 90% of people that post in this forum use the AA method. I find it amusing when people like to point out how long they been sober. I'm not even talking about their anniversary dates either. My question to them is often, "did anyone even ask how long you been sober?"

tiburon
No, I don't read minds. I know that for me willingness means willing to do WHATEVER it takes to not pick up. This includes calling 10 more people when the first ten do not answer. This includes picking up the phone and talking to someone from your area that has offered to help.
That is what willingness means to me.

I did not mean any offense, just my observation...
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:22 AM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Pinkcuda View Post
Tib, what you need is a chaperone and not A.A. If you can't pour your own drink down the drain, you need someone to do it for you. If you can't stay out of bars and liquor stores you need someone to grab you by the collar and lead you the other way. You need someone to put the cap back on the bottle every time you take it off because you can't seem to do it yourself.
You're going to die drunk unless you realize that there isn't anyone out there that is going to stop you from drinking.
This is all on you.
I'd offer more in the way of help but I don't want to be put on the list of people places and things to blame your drinking on.
Wow, now that's tough love. I know you say it like this because you care. I hope this approach works. It would have worked for me. Thanks!!
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:33 AM
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Stubborn1 beleive it or not there are "Sober Chaperones" for hire for those that can afford them! Of course if their boss is dead set on having a drink all they have to do is fire them! I read about a company in LA who has Sober Chaperones" for hire.
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:35 AM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Stubborn1 beleive it or not there are "Sober Chaperones" for hire for those that can afford them! Of course if their boss is dead set on having a drink all they have to do is fire them! I read about a company in LA who has Sober Chaperones" for hire.
That's one job I wouldn't want........although.......been there done that and didn't get paid!
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:51 AM
  # 67 (permalink)  
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Being a Sober Chaperone sounds positively dangerous!
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Old 09-23-2008, 10:02 AM
  # 68 (permalink)  
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just a quick observation - tiburon (which means shark in spanish) has been talkin nonsense about AA since he got here. that's cool, but why is everyone so excited to weigh in on why he should give AA another shot? AA'll be here with or without him. if you really work the program and have read the big book, you should've read in working with others where bill talks about turning attention to new guys that WANT sobriety, not haters who want to bitch about their sad phone tree and how AA let them down. c'mon now, stop the madness.

tiburon - if you're a real alcoholic, then you'll either get sober through whatever means you achieve real sobriety, or you'll die. i've seen it happen, and probably you have too. good luck, brother.
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Old 09-23-2008, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by tiburon88 View Post
The point is that I reached out and the hands of AA failed me.


tiburon

Keep reaching out Tib. Even though some people here might think you're bashing, I view it as venting. So vent away. And make some changes as to what's NOT working .
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Old 09-23-2008, 11:20 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Stubborn1 beleive it or not there are "Sober Chaperones" for hire for those that can afford them! Of course if their boss is dead set on having a drink all they have to do is fire them! I read about a company in LA who has Sober Chaperones" for hire.
Lindsay Lohan was using one of these for a while before she went to her last rehab center in Utah. It didn't work for her apparently.

I think it all boils down to the fact that nothing will work for the person until they are absolutely and positively ready to stop, for good.
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Old 09-23-2008, 11:44 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Stubborn1 beleive it or not there are "Sober Chaperones" for hire for those that can afford them! Of course if their boss is dead set on having a drink all they have to do is fire them! I read about a company in LA who has Sober Chaperones" for hire.

LOL. Now that's funny.



Tib. You have been in a bad place now for some time. If AA is not working for you then just say so. Bashing is not allowed.

Find a programme that works for you and get with it man.

AA has helped millions and contrary to what you believe "bashing AA" is not doing anybody a service.

Good luck in your new endeavours.
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Old 09-23-2008, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by tiburon88 View Post
The point is that I reached out and the hands of AA failed me.


tiburon
People will fail you all the time. God never fails.

AA people in this thread reached out to you. I offered to chat via PM, Rob B said he'd even give you his number, Jim offered to help you.

I'm now going to do you a huge favor and point out that you're just sitting on the pity pot whining... either go get drunk or put on your big boy pants and take some responsibility.
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Old 09-23-2008, 12:12 PM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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I never got sober the first time around.
I went inpatient rehab 3 times.
AA meetings for years and HATED them, mostly the people.
I am grateful to be acoholic because it led me to where I am today...a life I like and makes sense.
Though I do not say it in meetings - because newcomers do not understand.

Then - I called someone who I had never met before (no, Jim did not give me the number)..and agreed to meet him. Someone I knew and liked from AA gave me his number- I respected this guy and did something I really did not want to do- call a stranger and ask for help. He did not put any requirments on me, just talked - I ended up going through the steps and having a change, I honestly did not think it could happen to me - but wtf, the option was continuing to drink.

So - you say there are times you don't care anymore. Calling one of those people you have never met before won't be such a big deal. Trust me, they have met you before.

If I can be any help - PM me.
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Old 09-23-2008, 12:42 PM
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Tib...getting sober is an inside job...you know it and I know it.

I like you see the many flaws and inconsistencies in aa....the ones that we all talk about from time to time here at SR, in fact many of the flaws in the program are brought to light by it’s supporters.

I know how hard it must have been to call all those people, hell I had trouble calling my sponsor everyday...it’s ok to be upset and frustrated, but in the end you want to be free...free from your addiction. It can be done without aa, plenty of proof of that here at SR, right here on this thread.

Go to meetings if you need to....”Take what you want and leave the rest” I did early in my sobriety...I did 90 in 90...not because my sponsor said so, because I needed the constant focus...I needed to hear the stories...to know that change was possible.

Long before my 90 days were up I knew aa was not for me, but remaining sober was my goal....I followed thru with my commitment to myself...did my 90 in 90...eventually by 10 months sober I was down to a meeting a week...the way that Bill intended it to be...confident that I no longer needed any face to face support, I left.

Simple...utilize the support, you don’t have to follow the “suggested” program...just hit up meetings when you need them...no rule that says you can’t.

The goal Tib is to stop killing yourself....

BTW...disregard anyone who tells you to go get drunk...to drink is to die in aa....How many people do you think that gem has killed....
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:02 PM
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Here is why some post and replies were removed

From our SR Policy Rules and Posting Forum

4. Trolling: Posting of any content with the intention of disrupting the forum or inflaming members-be it on someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program. This includes flaming, flame baiting, registration of multiple accounts or impersonation of another member. Do not Harass, threaten, embarrass or cause distress or discomfort upon another Online Forum participant. This includes flaming on our forums or other public forums. We are here to share our experience and offer peer support. No other agendas that disrupt the forums will be tolerated.
Let's all chill....No member is allowed to violate
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Thank you
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:20 PM
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"Long before my 90 days were up I knew aa was not for me, but remaining sober was my goal....I followed thru with my commitment to myself...did my 90 in 90...eventually by 10 months sober I was down to a meeting a week...the way that Bill intended it to be...confident that I no longer needed any face to face support, I left."

"How many people do you think that gem has killed...."

That would include me then and with all due respect Bugs, that gem helped save my life. Each man and each woman so afflicted who wants to stop drinking, stop the insanity has to make a decision to live free. Bugs, you made a life changing decision and followed it with action and I proud to say as your friend you that you are free. You took what worked for you and you did something with it; you followed through with your commitment! You did not do it my way; you did it the way that worked for you, but no matter what way you did it you are sober and growing stronger one day at a time. Those that blame, whine and complain will continue to suffer because they refuse to change. It is far easier to blame someone or something else for their plight in life, than to take responsibility for their thoughts, behaviors and actions. I understand that some are incapable of been honest and have greater issues than Alcoholism and I cannot help these men and women until they are willing to change and make the commitment you did.

Peace and love.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:45 PM
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While I love conversing with you Rufus and respect aside, I despise the thought that any sober man or woman would suggests a tortured soul take another step in the direction of death. I’m funny that way, part of my spirituality I suppose...something God and I will have to sort out. If your HP and your conscience allows you disregard the danger in telling an alcoholic to get drunk there is nothing that I can say to change your mind. It is your program, you can no doubt give me the page number from which this piece of advice was derived, I however do not follow, practice or respect doctrine that supports that kind of behavior. Yes, you are right I did not get sober your way, I got sober my way...my way does not include the possibility of killing someone, while it may have worked in your case I would rather err on the side of caution. Again, this is between me and God, as is it true for you.

As always Gods Speed to you..
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Old 09-23-2008, 02:06 PM
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Last night I was thinking that if I went to the Doctors and he said I had cancer, I wouldn't tell him what treatment I needed, but 1000's of drinking alcoholics attend AA each day, internationally, and think they can tell AA how and what they need to get sober.

And I understand this. It seems rather odd that putting out chairs at meetings, writing an inventory and making amends will set a person on the road to soberity. Logically it just doesn't make sense despite the fact other members who are sober are living proof.

I'm still willing to admit that I wouldn't know a good thing or a bad thing if it bit me on the a** but what I do know is that when I admitted I was drinking to feed my disease, not because I felt happy or sad, had a good day or a bad day, my parents loved me or they hated me - when I put all question of morals or lifestyle choices aside and admitted I had a mental illness, I didn't want to drink anymore and I become willing to do whatever it took to achive this.

Luckily for me, I didn't have much left to loose in any area of my life but in recent times after taking a look at another area of my live I have learned how hard it is to give something up, when I still think I have other options and/or other ways of dealing with something, instead of admitting powerlessness. Material assests play a huge role in this for me too. I.e. i can't be doing too badly as I can still pay the rent etc... And I feel sorry for people who come to AA with the idea that for some outward reason, they think the can control their drinking then loose everything in AA since they can't get or stay sober.

I thank god I never had anything when I got sober, as it probably would have killed me. I honestly believed AA was the last stop on the block.

A friend of mine says "AA is an attractive alternative to death."
And I really understand that statement.
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Old 09-23-2008, 02:08 PM
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Yeah, I truly disagree with telling an addict (I include alcoholics in my definition, as NA does) to use or drink. At our home group last week, a real bitter old-timer, who isn't using, but doesn't seem to have found any peace at all, said to someone who shared that they had relapsed "You might as well go back out there and get high, then, since you aren't even tryin!" Not good.
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Old 09-23-2008, 02:14 PM
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If AA is the "last stop on the block" how does that make a person feel who continues to "relapse" in AA? Perhaps I am "constitutionally incapable of being honest with myself." I admit to suffering from a mental disorder that can kill me in the same way addiction can. I stopped taking those medications a few months ago because I was convinced the doctor was poisoning me!
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