Boleo

(Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge)

If EVERY THING ELSE = Worse

AA = Best

laurie6781

Boleo please remember that AA is not for everybody.

There are other forms of recovery methods that do work. I have friends in some of those 'other' methods who have very good long term sobriety and are happy living their life sober and on life's terms.

From a sticky on this site:

When I got sober, AA was the only game in town, now there are others. However, they only work, even AA, when WE WORK THEM AS HARD AS WE CAN and have made a COMMITMENT to sobriety.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

jimhere

Tib,

I am with Rob. PM me if you'd like my number.

You are in Chicago right? I happen to be connected to some people through sponsorship in Chicago, good strong AA's who not only will pick up the phone, but if you are serious about recovering from alcoholism, will walk side by side with you.

I understand why you feel the way you feel. I hated AA and everyone in it for years. I'd also like to let you know Tib, that you are quite free to hate AA. I will say that hate is pretty strong and probably won't help your chances of recovery, no matter the method you choose. But you'll have to find that out for yourself.


Based on a few of the previous posts, I see a fight coming. So maybe we can avoid that by addressing a few vital points. After all, fighting amongst ourselves about what is the best method of recovery isn't going to help Tib or any one else.

AA does not need defending. In line with the Tenth Tradition, it has no opinion on other approaches to recovery from alcoholism. AA stands neither for nor against anything. If I as an AA member go spouting my opinions of things like secular recovery, religion, politics, temperance, etc., I can give the uninformed public the impression that these are AA's views. I may even hurt someone's chances of recovery.

AA is not in the business of convincing someone of the need for sobriety or even that they need to be in AA. We do not conduct membership drives. Alcohol will do a far better job of that than we ever will.

AA is not competing with other approaches. AA is not the only way. There is not a right way nor a wrong way to recover. In AA, there is a best way for some of us. As far as I'm concerned, if you find a way that works for you and you recover, that is the best way for you.

I wish you well Tib. If I can be helpful, please feel free to contact me.
Jim

doorknob

I did too, although it wasn't easy to find. What type of treatment was it? Mine was based on Choice Theory, a cognitive-behavioral therapy.

CarolD

If you want to find all sorts of treatment centers
please go to our SR Home page and read.

nandm

Tib, I truly wish you the best and hope that you find what will work for you.

My reply to your post regarding people not answering the phone when you called. I was taught early on in sobriety that the only one I could truly count on is my HP. People are human beings and as such have faults. People will let us down when we place expectations on them. That is just life. I have learned that by leaving my expectations at the door regarding people my life is much simplier. It also helps prevent resentment, frustration, and anger because someone didn't act the way I wanted or expected them to. I am responsible for me and my actions no one elses.

Pinkcuda

Which is it??? Therapy or 12 Steps? Maybe you need a different Sponsor.

lisa1235

just because you complete the 12 steps and had a sponser doesnt mean you finished the program.you said you still continue to use.well when we do that in a/a we go back to the first step.admitting we are powerless over alcohol.it doesnt seem that you really believe this.no program or person can save us in this stage.we can only offer suggestion and support.you have to want this.to want this you must realize that you are powerless and you do need help.if you had a sponser why arent they avalible to you?have you tried to call?just because we relapse doesnt mean we or the program failed.it just means we get back up dust ourselves off and we try agian.i tried many times and relapsed but i promptly asked for help.it was hard at first to admit but it freed me from the shame and i was welcomed back.im sorry 4 youre bad experience and if you need you can p.m. me to talk.you are to close to this dont give up.dont let the disease cloud youre judgement.do seek recovery..eventually you'll find it,its not a overnite thing its one day at a time..threw the good ..threw the bad..you can do it!keep us posted..

mary77

i have to get back to celbrate recovery what i been going tho i cant do it alone thank you:ghug:ghug

CarolD

Mary....
Glad to see you have found something that benefits you.

Welcome to our recovery community.

Cathy31

Hey Tib

I remember coming on here p*ssed and stumbling into chat - Historyteach was chairing a meeting and I was like blah blah I have done all steps and s/he said to me - well I suggest you go back to step 1! Of course I hadn't done any and as you're still using sounds like you haven't done any either. That's cool. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I treated AA like you do, and spoke about it the way you did, and had the attitude you did no one would answer the phone for me either. Hell, I wouldn't answer the phone to me. Not about recovery anyway.
Go figure.

Cathy31
x

Dean62

I went through 3 in and 3 out patient treatments with many AA meetings in between and was not able to stay sober. Tib the problem wasn't with the help I was getting. I'm the reason I haven't stayed sober. The recovering alcoholics at the AA meetings and the councilors at the treatment centers didn't make me drink booze I did it on my own.

I don't know what the best sobriety program is because I haven't tryed them all. What I do know is I need help from others but others can't do it for me.

OXFORD

I hate AA's policy of 'give yourself to God' it feels like in order to be successful at AA I'm going to have to give up being an atheist. This is something that I can't do, I need a support group that is non-denominational in order to be successful at recovery. AA's kind of offensive to people who don't believe in Christianity.

CarolD

Dean and Oxford ..
Here is a list for you to explore

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

Find something that appeals to you .

debs4321

"Hate" is such a strong word.

Lilyflower

In the 12 steps that I have read, it talks about giving things out of our control over to God as we understand him. That could be God, Bhudda, Vishnu, Mohammed, Mother Nature or your favourite rock star! The point is learning how to let go of attempting to control, not believing in a religious concept.

If the group you have attended is very religiously focused, perhaps a different group would be more suited to you?

Don't give up giving up,
Love and peace
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

benblesed5

There is much wisdom and humor here from all who have posted. I just wanted to thank all of you for posting, and connecting with one another, this is what getting sober is all about, whether we follow the AA program or others, the bottom line is it is up to US to STOP DRINKING, and find a better way to live. How we do it is irrelevant as long as we do it.

With me, if I am so set against something and hate it so drastically it is usually because I realize that it is correct about the parts of me that I don't like. I don't dislike IT but dislike me and how it forces me to see me. That way of thinking kept me wrapped up in drinking for a long time, accepting repsonsibility for me, reading the BB, working the steps HONESTLY, and leaning on HP to get me through the bad times, brought me to a wonderfully serene life, free of resentment, anger, and pain. Well, we all have this issues arise in life as do others who are not alcoholic, today, I have a way of dealing with them that is healthy for me and others around me, and I have mostly good days. Through the grace of G-d of my understanding, and AA. May we all find our ways to this type of life, it is a wonderful life indeed.

Freedom1990

Hatred kept me drunk and bitter for a long time.

Texasblind

Doorknob. My health care provider had an intensive outpatient program. It was strictly medical based. That's why I relapsed and tried AA.

tiburon88

The point is that I reached out and the hands of AA failed me.


tiburon