Homer38

have been sober since end of august,life was going great,i let up on the aa meetings and got caught with my defense levels and rational thinking down! I drank many beers yesterday!

im not gonna beat myself up over it,i was camping and it just happened,i didnt fight the desire,i just did it with no thought involved,until i woke this morning with alot of guilt but as i said im not going to dwell on it.

im gonna hit up an aa meeting tonight,guess i need to work a bit harder at this.

Ananda

Yep homer...just get up and get going again and if you have decided to do AA....get to a meeting and work on making friends, getting a sponsor and all that stuff. There is no point in beating yourself up, but after a few days, it sometimes is helpful to discuss what lead up to the first drink with someone from AA....I mean prior to that day probably....But you are doing very well Homer and we are here for you!

:ghug3

NYMinute

1. How many beers did you have and over what time frame ?

2. How did you go camping with beer ? Did somebody else bring it along ?
I could see packing a flask of blackberry brandy or Jack in case of an emergency but beer ? Too bulky IMO.

Homer38

i drove the camper and stopped at a store,we all went in,while the family was picking out snacks i grabbed a 12pack and told the cashier to bag it quickly so nobody saw it.I left and the clerk said have a nice day and winked,he knew what i was up to.

I then pizzed everybody off and opened up the 1st can but nobody let it bother the trip,it was all on me anyway,and they knew id suffer for it today.

Done_With_It

Your doing Great Patrick!! Keep up the good work!!
You know what you gotta do and that is all that matters.
Good job on the AA meetings, glad your going back
tonight!!

:ghug3

CarolD

Glad you are planning to get back on track quickly Patrick

BaldHeadedJohn

Just get back on the horse, Homer. I know, and you do too, that you can beat this.
My best to you.

BHJ

lizw

Don't be offended but this made me laugh out loud since your first post implied you drunk 'by accident' AKA 'Oh my god how'd this happened?'

Your next post indicates how it happened. And I will spell it out.
YOU BROUGHT BEER. Sounds to me like your intention to drink was there long before you put the drink to your lips. Relapse starts in the mind dude.

Man, I am 10 years sober and if I found myself buying beer or even considering buying beer, alone, I am in big, big, big trouble!

It would probably be wise to not only get back to meetings but to get a sponsor too....

NYMinute

I didn't read into it that he drank by accident.He says he let his guard down and wasn't thinking rationally.

LosingmyMisery

What's done is done and you can move forward. My concern is your wife and family. It isn't just on you, it is on them as well. Complacency is a huge deal breaker. I'd hate to see you come this far to have the final straw break the camel's back. I'm rooting for you, Patrick. You have a great plan to get back to meetings. You have drank for many years. A few weeks of meetings isn't going to end the problem right then and there, but I know you understand that now. Work your ass off. You and your family are worth it.

theotherone

I've heard it before on this board...that was yesterday...start over today. I read your posts often and am rooting for you. You have it in you...your determination and strength shines through in every post. Here if this makes you feel better

...Now move forward and leave the rest behind!

Cathy31

If you do this consistently you will stay sober. Remember it's not about 'slipping' and having a few beers...its about the utter INSANITY that returns - the broken ribs, bar fights, loss of respect for self, self destruction, dead inside...that's why we don't drink...cause it's not just about not drinking.

If you do go back to AA tonight you'll be doing a really good thing!! this time why not try stick around a bit longer - and try do what's suggested - get that sponsor, work those steps, get a service position...that is if you want to RECOVER.

Much love,

Cathy31
x

tennis71

I would say stand up, dust yourself off and start over. I have gone through a few false starts in my sobriety and am working hard to make this past relapse the last.

It sounds like you caught the ism of alcoholism (incredibly short memory) and you forgot why you wanted to sober up in the first place. I think you may have planned out your first drink likely before you even went to the store. When I relapse, I usually am thinking ahead of time that 1 drink really won't hurt me. I forget that for an alcoholic like me, 1 drink leads to more until I eventually bottom out. An yes, it usually happens when I let up on meetings. For me to stay sober I need the constant reinforcement and support of AA.

It also sounds like you know the rooms of AA and have some sort of plan to maintain your sobriety. Hopefully this will be your last relapse but that's for you and God to sort out.

Figure out what went wrong, step up the effort to stay sober and take it 1 day at a time.

Thanks for sharing about the relapse and I look forward to reading more.

Homer38

umm,yes,i did think of the buying and drinking beforehand,just like i have many times,only this time i had an opportunity and excuse so I followed thru with it! And I lost!

As Steven Tyler sings,"I'm back in the saddle again!"!!!!!!!!
and he's been sober for 25 years almost!

We can do it!

Cathy31

Oh dear, he was back in rehab in May

Nevertheless there are many examples here of people who have stayed sober happily - for me I don't do it cafeteria style - e.g. I don't dig this and that part of AA...thank God from the start (after many false starts) I sucked it up (how I don't know, Grace of God for sure) and did what as suggested...for me that's :

- Meetings
- Sponsor
- Stepwork
- Higher Power
- Service

For me these are like legs on the chair of my life, leave out one and it all goes wonky - leave out more than one and it collapses...that's relapse, and for me to drink is to die.

Cathy31
x

Tazman53

Patrick if you fall 6 times and get up 7 you are still a winner. Get to a meeting and talk it over with some folks, trust me you are far from the first to get off to a shaky start.

LosingmyMisery

How's it going, Homer?

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Check in Homey!

LosingmyMisery

No matter where you are at in your recovery, tomorrow is a day full of new opportunities. Take them...

chip

It takes courage to stand back up after a fall. Keep working at it, Patrick. Nobody here is qualified to judge you. You know what happened, and I'm sure you've learned something. Going back to AA and sharing with other Alcoholics is a solid plan.

We are behind you, no matter what happens.
chip