Loss of Enjoyment in Life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Loss of Enjoyment in Life
Loss of Enjoyment of Life
I used to work for a law firm that handled plaintiff’s side auto accidents and other personal injury cases. One of the things we used to sue for was “Loss of Enjoyment of Life”.
In the last few days after my last, and by last I mean never again, relapse, I realized that alcohol has caused me to lose enjoyment in almost everything I loved in life.
It makes sense though because the first thing that alcohol did to me was it made me unable to love myself. How can I love anything else that life has to offer if I cannot love myself first.
With that I now despise alcohol more than I ever have in life. I am repulsed and mad at it. The last time I took that first drink it destroyed me. If I could sue alcohol I would.
Instead I will surrender. I give up. I will work the spiritual program of AA and I will remove alcohol from my life. I am too repulsed to fight. I will let my higher power take care of it. I will focus on AA and living spiritually, humbly, and I will learn to love myself and most importantly love those most dear to me.
In the past year I have had the most sober time in my life but I have never been this repulsed by alcohol.
That is my rant for the day but I would like to hear how other people feel about alcohol and how they are dealing with it.
Thanks for the support that you all provide and thanks for listening or reading as the case may be!
I used to work for a law firm that handled plaintiff’s side auto accidents and other personal injury cases. One of the things we used to sue for was “Loss of Enjoyment of Life”.
In the last few days after my last, and by last I mean never again, relapse, I realized that alcohol has caused me to lose enjoyment in almost everything I loved in life.
It makes sense though because the first thing that alcohol did to me was it made me unable to love myself. How can I love anything else that life has to offer if I cannot love myself first.
With that I now despise alcohol more than I ever have in life. I am repulsed and mad at it. The last time I took that first drink it destroyed me. If I could sue alcohol I would.
Instead I will surrender. I give up. I will work the spiritual program of AA and I will remove alcohol from my life. I am too repulsed to fight. I will let my higher power take care of it. I will focus on AA and living spiritually, humbly, and I will learn to love myself and most importantly love those most dear to me.
In the past year I have had the most sober time in my life but I have never been this repulsed by alcohol.
That is my rant for the day but I would like to hear how other people feel about alcohol and how they are dealing with it.
Thanks for the support that you all provide and thanks for listening or reading as the case may be!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Long Island , NY
Posts: 92
Well i control it as best as i can.No drinking and driving or any of that nonsense.I live next to a village where the local police officers get awards for the number of dwi arrests they make and then the publish the names of the people arrested in the local paper.
If i didn't have to pay the piper for the effects I get the next day i wouldn't care .
If i didn't have to pay the piper for the effects I get the next day i wouldn't care .
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 1,340
Hmm. I am more mystified by alcohol than angry at it. How is it so bad for me, and for other people, it's no big deal? Why does a mind-altering substance have such a strong presence in our society- what is it about some of our lives that makes people want that escape so bad? What would the world look like if everyone was sober for a year? Does that mini-vacation that getting trashed at the end of the week (or whenever) get people to tolerate otherwise intolerable circumstances?
Thanks for this post.
Thanks for this post.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Long Island , NY
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by SelfSeeking 
Hmm. I am more mystified by alcohol than angry at it. How is it so bad for me, and for other people, it's no big deal? Why does a mind-altering substance have such a strong presence in our society- what is it about some of our lives that makes people want that escape so bad? What would the world look like if everyone was sober for a year? Does that mini-vacation that getting trashed at the end of the week (or whenever) get people to tolerate otherwise intolerable circumstances?
Thanks for this post.
Thanks for this post.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I can absolutely relate. Alcohol never allowed any Joy into my life. It took my soul and stripped me of anything positive. I haven't craved a drink since my relapse 4 years ago. I know the pain, I know the cost. I will not delve there. Now, I know what true Joy is. I know gratitude. I prefer where I am today, sober, then anywhere alcohol took me. We all know where that was...hell. My relapse was the worst and the best thing that ever happened to me. Good luck!
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
When I first quit drinking my biggest fear was that I would never be happy again.
It turned out that I was right. I have never experienced happiness since then.
I now experience the joy of helping others, sharing with others or giving to others.
Where happiness is singular, joy is plural.
It turned out that I was right. I have never experienced happiness since then.
I now experience the joy of helping others, sharing with others or giving to others.
Where happiness is singular, joy is plural.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Long Island , NY
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by Boleo
When I first quit drinking my biggest fear was that I would never be happy again.
It turned out that I was right. I have never experienced happiness since then.
I now experience the joy of helping others, sharing with others or giving to others.
Where happiness is singular, joy is plural.
It turned out that I was right. I have never experienced happiness since then.
I now experience the joy of helping others, sharing with others or giving to others.
Where happiness is singular, joy is plural.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Cumming, Ga
Posts: 665
Alcohol was the best thing I ever found. Nothing ever worked as good as it did. It fixed what was wrong inside and made me feel a part of the world. And it served me well, until I started serving it. I absolutely loved that stuff. And had it continued working without becoming a problem, I'd still be drinking today. I am not here on moral grounds, and I'm not a temperance worker. Now, there was a time that I was "angry" at alcohol. Probably the first attempts to get sober. But then again, I didn't understand the incredible relationship I had with alcohol either. Today, I have a different attitude and understanding. When I realized that alcohol wasn't my problem, but it was my solution was when that changed. And it was a big time solution. I needed a drink long before I took the first one. Nope, I'm not against it. Besides, it brings us our members!!!!
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
For me, it helps to view alcohol as nothing more than a drink that some people can enjoy. I don’t hate alcohol.
I also accept that I am an alcoholic. In the grand scheme of what life has to offer, the fact that I can’t drink alcohol is insignificant.
When I was still drinking, I could not enjoy life. At any point in time I was either drunk, feeling sorry for myself (self-hatred), or obsessing about my next bender. I was completely self-absorbed.
When I first sobered up, I hated myself for the pain my drinking had caused others & me. I was very much living in the past, unable to forgive myself. I was also scared of the future - the repercussions of my drinking, what if I couldn’t stop? I have pretty much moved on from this and I am enjoying life. For me, the 12 steps and the passage of time has gotten me to this point. Now that the obsession has been lifted and I am trying to live in accordance with spiritual principles, life has much more vibrancy to it.
Some people can drink alcohol, I can’t. It’s no big deal anymore.
I also accept that I am an alcoholic. In the grand scheme of what life has to offer, the fact that I can’t drink alcohol is insignificant.
When I was still drinking, I could not enjoy life. At any point in time I was either drunk, feeling sorry for myself (self-hatred), or obsessing about my next bender. I was completely self-absorbed.
When I first sobered up, I hated myself for the pain my drinking had caused others & me. I was very much living in the past, unable to forgive myself. I was also scared of the future - the repercussions of my drinking, what if I couldn’t stop? I have pretty much moved on from this and I am enjoying life. For me, the 12 steps and the passage of time has gotten me to this point. Now that the obsession has been lifted and I am trying to live in accordance with spiritual principles, life has much more vibrancy to it.
Some people can drink alcohol, I can’t. It’s no big deal anymore.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I absolutely hate the stuff! I was drowning and didn't even know I was going down for the last time. When I think of drinking I think of all the negatives, cause for me, there are no positives to alcohol anymore. I was a slave to alcohol and grew more isolated and unhappy with every passing day.
Now, my first 'gut' reaction to thinking about drinking is a very 'sick' feeling, in my head and my stomach. There's nothing good about it for me anymore. It's all bad, and the literal 'cost' of drinking is way more than I can afford. I no longer can afford the price of using alcohol to escape, and I no longer want to escape anyway. I've got my feet firmly on solid ground and want to keep them there.
My life may not be all I'd like it to be, but I'm content with it. It's not perfect, but it's mine, and it's good enough for me.
Now, my first 'gut' reaction to thinking about drinking is a very 'sick' feeling, in my head and my stomach. There's nothing good about it for me anymore. It's all bad, and the literal 'cost' of drinking is way more than I can afford. I no longer can afford the price of using alcohol to escape, and I no longer want to escape anyway. I've got my feet firmly on solid ground and want to keep them there.
My life may not be all I'd like it to be, but I'm content with it. It's not perfect, but it's mine, and it's good enough for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
I don't have to fight alcohol. My Higher Power does that job for me. I found that by doing the steps in my programme.
I loved alcohol. It was my solution too. It brought me ease and comfort instantly. I had a lot of good times drinking. By the time I needed to stop, it had robbed me of all happiness and there was no joy in my life.
An alcoholic sueing alcohol seems to me a bit like a diabetic sueing sugar. Not much point really.
I loved alcohol. It was my solution too. It brought me ease and comfort instantly. I had a lot of good times drinking. By the time I needed to stop, it had robbed me of all happiness and there was no joy in my life.
An alcoholic sueing alcohol seems to me a bit like a diabetic sueing sugar. Not much point really.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I think the way we consider alcohol has everything to do
with recovery...not just sobriety.
I am a recovered alcoholic who is finding the joy
of living with my God's Grace and the program of AA.
This is a miracle ...
with recovery...not just sobriety.
I am a recovered alcoholic who is finding the joy
of living with my God's Grace and the program of AA.
This is a miracle ...
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by tennis71
That is my rant for the day but I would like to hear how other people feel about alcohol and how they are dealing with it.
Early in sobriety I found I was afraid of alcohol. I felt like it was poison and treated it as such. Although there were times when I craved it like nothing else in this world. But fortunately those cravings passed.
Today, I am pretty neutral about it. I know that I would not be who I am today if it were not for my alcoholism. I also know that I might not have lived to have the opportunities I do today if I had not been able to numb myself and subconsciously treat my mental health issues with the alcohol. So I guess I am grateful to be an alcoholic since it has provided me with tools that make my life better today. I don't take issue with others who drink. I have friends who are normal drinkers and have even bought them a bottle of wine for their anniversary before.
As far as how I deal with it. I just continue to work the program that I work in my life and the alcohol tends to not be a problem. I guess because I have enough to stay busy working on my "character defects" that I don't have time to worry about the alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
How do I feel about alcohol?
Alcohol worked great for me. There was a period of time where I was happy and actively drinking. Happier than I was before I started drinking.
It stopped working- many many attempts to regain that sense failed. I found I couldn't live without it, or so I thought.
I have no problem with alcohol - it's ME that is the problem, not the substance. Once I was pointed in the right direction and focused on the source of my problem life got good.
Doing anything based on anger has never really worked out all that well for me, and saying that I won't drink again has always made me eat my words.
Alcohol worked great for me. There was a period of time where I was happy and actively drinking. Happier than I was before I started drinking.
It stopped working- many many attempts to regain that sense failed. I found I couldn't live without it, or so I thought.
I have no problem with alcohol - it's ME that is the problem, not the substance. Once I was pointed in the right direction and focused on the source of my problem life got good.
Doing anything based on anger has never really worked out all that well for me, and saying that I won't drink again has always made me eat my words.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Thank you all for your responses. You all gave me valuable insight that I have taken to heart.
Maybe it is my natural progression during recovery, pissed at the booze first but then I realize that I need to go deeper. I realize now that the problem lies within me. The good thing is that if I know where the problem is, I can start the necessary work to get past my issues.
I am grateful that I have AA to help me through this. Sober Recovery is another invaluable part of my sobriety.
Thank you all for your feedback and insight. I look forward to reading more of your posts on Sober Recovery.
:praying
Maybe it is my natural progression during recovery, pissed at the booze first but then I realize that I need to go deeper. I realize now that the problem lies within me. The good thing is that if I know where the problem is, I can start the necessary work to get past my issues.
I am grateful that I have AA to help me through this. Sober Recovery is another invaluable part of my sobriety.
Thank you all for your feedback and insight. I look forward to reading more of your posts on Sober Recovery.
:praying
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
It's a just a drink but one that I don't use/drink.
I am surrounded by love and happiness today and that drink would make ME miserable and a wreck.
I don't hate it, I hate the things it does to people.
I am surrounded by love and happiness today and that drink would make ME miserable and a wreck.
I don't hate it, I hate the things it does to people.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Interesting topic, it got me to thinking.
For the first 35 years of my drinking I loved alcohol, it solved every problem I had and it intensified my joy in all the good thing in life.
The last 5 years of my drinking were where I slowly grew to depise alcohol and myself because I could not stop drinking, alcohol owned me physically, mentally, and spiritually, it led to me developing gangrene of my soul.
Some time during those last 5 years I developed another hatred, I developed a great hatred of my alcoholism, other people could have one or 2 drinks and move on with thier lifes..... not me, I drank for oblivion every day in the end.
Once I went into detox I learned that alcoholism was a disease, this did lessen the hatred I had for myself because the scientific community and medical community have come to the conclusion that alcoholism is a disease, but it did not lessen the hatred I had of MY alcoholism!
When I got out of detox and went to AA I slowly learned to accept the fact that I am an alcoholic and as a result I can never again can drink like a non-alcoholic, this acceptance further lessened my self hatred and also lessened my hatred of being an alcoholic.
As I worked the steps and was mentally released from the obsession for alcohol, I no longer hated myself or alcohol. I have come to love who I am today and accept who I was in the past. I have accepted full responsibilty for my past and continue to make amends for my past when ever how ever possible.
The really neat thing is I have no real feelings about alcohol itself, but I do dislike what drinking results in for some people. Hatred in my life of anything is actually non-existant today, when I was drinking I hated me, I hated the world and everything in it.
For the first 35 years of my drinking I loved alcohol, it solved every problem I had and it intensified my joy in all the good thing in life.
The last 5 years of my drinking were where I slowly grew to depise alcohol and myself because I could not stop drinking, alcohol owned me physically, mentally, and spiritually, it led to me developing gangrene of my soul.
Some time during those last 5 years I developed another hatred, I developed a great hatred of my alcoholism, other people could have one or 2 drinks and move on with thier lifes..... not me, I drank for oblivion every day in the end.
Once I went into detox I learned that alcoholism was a disease, this did lessen the hatred I had for myself because the scientific community and medical community have come to the conclusion that alcoholism is a disease, but it did not lessen the hatred I had of MY alcoholism!
When I got out of detox and went to AA I slowly learned to accept the fact that I am an alcoholic and as a result I can never again can drink like a non-alcoholic, this acceptance further lessened my self hatred and also lessened my hatred of being an alcoholic.
As I worked the steps and was mentally released from the obsession for alcohol, I no longer hated myself or alcohol. I have come to love who I am today and accept who I was in the past. I have accepted full responsibilty for my past and continue to make amends for my past when ever how ever possible.
The really neat thing is I have no real feelings about alcohol itself, but I do dislike what drinking results in for some people. Hatred in my life of anything is actually non-existant today, when I was drinking I hated me, I hated the world and everything in it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: West Warwick, Rhode Island
Posts: 30
I view it now as a abusive boyfriend. I'm a little scared of it sneaking up on me and I'm doing whatever I can to build my defenses against it. I believe, in time, the fear will go away, and as I replace my life experiences with meaningful* (I can't stress that word enough) sober experiences, my (now occasional) cravings will stop altogether. My long-term plan, though, is to remain in AA and help other women, as I would if I were a domestic violence counselor again.
*Going to the grocery store the other day was a meaningful experience. I was thankful to have enough money to go and buy some delicious stuff, and happy to bring my little boy and watch him smile at people. These experiences don't have to be anything big. Life, I'm finding, is pretty big.
*Going to the grocery store the other day was a meaningful experience. I was thankful to have enough money to go and buy some delicious stuff, and happy to bring my little boy and watch him smile at people. These experiences don't have to be anything big. Life, I'm finding, is pretty big.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,151
Hi Tennis
First off I am so glad to read your commitment to getting sober and working your AA program.
However I have a slightly different take on your comment:
"In the last few days after my last, and by last I mean never again, relapse"
For me, and I can only speak for myself, to say in effect I will never drink again is too tall an order. So one day at a time I abstain from drinking by working my program and the steps. I am an alcoholic and know that I am never more than an arm's length away from a drink unless I am vigilant on a daily basis. I am lucky in that I no longer crave alcohol and I have no desire to drink it. It wasn't always like that. Give yourself time: no-one gets 10 years' sobriety overnight although I can remember wanting that at my second or third meeting. Just take things one day at a time, get involved with your AA recovery and you will soon find all the fun and enjoyment you could ever imagine. I wish you all the best and hope you will continue to post on here.
First off I am so glad to read your commitment to getting sober and working your AA program.
However I have a slightly different take on your comment:
"In the last few days after my last, and by last I mean never again, relapse"
For me, and I can only speak for myself, to say in effect I will never drink again is too tall an order. So one day at a time I abstain from drinking by working my program and the steps. I am an alcoholic and know that I am never more than an arm's length away from a drink unless I am vigilant on a daily basis. I am lucky in that I no longer crave alcohol and I have no desire to drink it. It wasn't always like that. Give yourself time: no-one gets 10 years' sobriety overnight although I can remember wanting that at my second or third meeting. Just take things one day at a time, get involved with your AA recovery and you will soon find all the fun and enjoyment you could ever imagine. I wish you all the best and hope you will continue to post on here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Thanks again everyone, your experience and wisdom are why I keep coming back.
I realize that "never again" is a tall order. I think I was jazzed after an AA meeting and just wrote how I was feeling at the time. I am taking it 1 day at a time. I have told myself that I will not drink today, don't worry about tomorrow every day this week and will continue to do so.
I am still thankful for the last 11 months as they have been filled with the most sobriety of my life. I could not have done that without treatment and AA and most importantly I could not have done that without the desire to quit.
Thanks again, I will continue to post and I will continue to read all of your posts, and of course I will not drink today, I will go to a meeting and I will talk to my sponsor.
I realize that "never again" is a tall order. I think I was jazzed after an AA meeting and just wrote how I was feeling at the time. I am taking it 1 day at a time. I have told myself that I will not drink today, don't worry about tomorrow every day this week and will continue to do so.
I am still thankful for the last 11 months as they have been filled with the most sobriety of my life. I could not have done that without treatment and AA and most importantly I could not have done that without the desire to quit.
Thanks again, I will continue to post and I will continue to read all of your posts, and of course I will not drink today, I will go to a meeting and I will talk to my sponsor.
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