PaperDolls

In group last night we talked about sobriety and it getting easier, or not. We all feel as though relapse is always tapping us on the shoulder.

It seems most of us agreed that the more sobriety we got, the tougher it got.

What has your experience with this been?
Any tips?

RufusACanal

This is not the case for me. I have been freed from the next drink and I know I will be sober today.

"When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn."

Texasblind

I've found that sobriety DOES get harder as we go on. I was thrilled and motivated at first. I was gonna kick the world in the ass. Now that "Well I can have one drink" voice is coming back, I know it's not true, but it's there.

Relapse is not the problem. It's all the new feelings make me want to, real bad. I know alcohol is not the answer, I wish I knew what was.

Yes, I'd rather drink it away, but I know I can't.

Astro

I don't think it gets harder for me to stay sober as time goes on, it's the life issues that get harder, and sometimes those make me contemplate having a drink.

The longer I'm sober the more challenges I take on, I push myself to try new things that I've never done before or that I fear. But every time I read a meditation, pray, post on SR, go to a meeting, do 12th Step or service work, or do anything that's recovery related, I'm adding another tool to that spiritual toolkit that's been laid at my feet. I'm ready to do battle against my demons for one more day.

So yes, I feel like it gets harder, but I've got many ways to cope with the rough spots as I go on.

CarolD

This has not been my experience PD

I consider starting the AA Steps
was the beginning of my solid recovery.

....I suspose that is my relapse
prevention tip.

Good to see you here sharing with us..

Trisomy21

But we know from experience that having a drink really doesn't make life's issues any easier, in fact, quite the opposite.

I quit about a week ago and have a few ways I plan on coping with any cravings. 1. Start working out again 2. Maybe even get back into Martial Arts
3. Play a good aggressive computer game. Usually helps with frustration lol.

August18th2006

This is a tricky question to a certain degree.

I think in some respects, things got easier for me after I began to leave decisions up to a HP. But life threw challenges at me all the time. Finding ways to carry my sobriety through those challenges is different each time.

It's ever-evolving in a way. There has been a lot of deep thought about whether things were easier or getting harder.

I can say this: I know I'm not going to drink today. That puts a smile on my face. A little more than two years ago, I couldn't say that. Maybe I did something right.

PaperDolls

Very true, but our alcoholic/addictive brains work differently than those without this disease. Sometimes, our alcoholism tries to convince our logical brain that it will indeed fix a problem. Learning to STOP and THINK has helped me with this problem.




Carol: I have been attending AA meetings regularly this time in my recovery. I'm enjoying it a lot. I admit though, I have not actually started "working" the steps.

A note about my group last night. It's an aftercare group (not associated with AA) at the hospital I did my outpatient treatment. Most of us are alcoholics but there are many addicts and a combination of both. Most of us have less than a year sober but most of us are also not new to recovery. Some of us are in AA or NA, some aren't. There isn't a lot of Step talk.

I just know once my brain starts telling me I'm fine. Relapse is right around the corner. I have to keep looking out for it to avoid it.

Thanks for sharing everyone.

gypsytears

PD, I think for myself it has gotten easier the more time I have accumulated. Don't get me wrong, I still have my days where I think of drinking but I know I won't. Like Astro mentioned... I have tools now and I know how to use them to get past the feeling of wanting.

I have my yoga & meditation, my children and my church (* cough when I get myself to mass that is cough*), hobbys etc. & SR that help. When I was newly out of IOP I read a lot of recovery based literature. Perhaps in excess, but it helped me get through those early months. Now I try to focus on life itself and where I'm going and not so much on my past insobriety.

It is great though, that you're being especially vigilant about relapse. Watching for triggers and nipping them in the bud is a good thing. Keep doing what you're doing .

Horselover

For me, the habit of drinking every day has been broken, but I tend to think sometimes that i might be able to handle it. I usually get on SR during those times and post, but mostly read the 2 week and under thread. That usually puts me back on course. Good topic, by the way.

Itsmytime

I quit before for 5 years and thought I kicked it, then the voice came that I conquered the problem drinking and could have a couple now and then. That worked for a bit, then full force bingeing on weekends began. I am back on track and am now aware that that voice is just waiting to pounce.

Ananda

Being sober has been easier as I go along in terms of daily, minite by minite challanges to my sobriety. I don't think of a drink at the drop of a hat.

But when the desire hits it seems to be stronger. I think that is because...

I'm not use to dealing with the desire all the time
It sneaks up on me and is really strong before I see it is there
I am fully engaged in life and expereinceing more pain as well as happyness

It really just gets different

gravity

Personally, I feel stronger with each passing day (nine months sober) especially days when I overcome challenges without drinking. I have had to address some tough days in these nine months – my aunt & young cousin passing away, my little boy breaking his leg – as well as some major positives where in the past I would have automatically “celebrated”. I have all the proof I need that I can get through these times and that things always work out the best they can when I am sober. I know this with absolute certainty. I need to stay strong and be there for others.

When faced with an immediate challenge, my instinct is not to dull (obliterate) my senses with alcohol. Instead, I know that “this too shall pass” and I have my program to keep me strong. I have to accept the challenge and do my best. Life on life’s terms. I am getting to the point where I simply do not want any alcohol in my system – ever. Really, why make myself sick? It is not an option.

I also believe that life gets better the more I put into it. My marriage is stronger, my kids love being with me, my career is solid, and I am in much better physical shape. I am presented with more opportunities. I also put a lot of effort into working the steps and the result on my spirituality & state of mind is unreal.

I do everything one day at a time but when I look back, my life today doesn’t even compare to the mere existence I had nine months ago.

lizw

I went to an AA meeting last night on Step One and nearly all of us talked about having our heads say, "Maybe it wasn't that bad. Your drinking was just a passing phase etc...." Peoples lengths of soberity varied from a few days to 15+ years.

When I am in a room full of alcoholics and we all talk about having those kind of thoughts, I know I am in the right place.

I have also heard the the further away you are from your last drink, the closer you are to your next. Dunno if this is true or not.

I've been sober 10 years now and for me what has happened is that my options of dealing with life have been whittled down. 'The path narrows' is another way I've heard it described.

For example: I would never drive my car if it wasn't all legal and rego up to date etc... these days BUT when I first got sober, I'd do it all the time.

Another example: If I was upset with my daughter, when I was newly sober, I'd yell at her. These days if I am upset with her, I go sit in my bedroom till the need to yell at her passes.

I think maybe the standard of how I wish to behave and what I see as acceptable behaviour, keeps growing.

Tommyh

staying sober is a lot easier for me today than drinking.Getting wasted is hard work for a alkie of my type
first I would have to drink like a fish.Then I would have to find some dope
then i would wind up with some gal and blow all my booze,dope and money...I might get sober next week if I didn`t end up in jail for drunk driving...then I would get a divorce if i was lucky enough to sober up....naaa-it ain`t worth it,and besides I would be sick for a week....
think i`ll just pass on the drinking today...and save my money and marriage

Pinkcuda

It's gone! The Obsession is gone. There is no desire whatsoever.
I don't wonder why it happened to me and I don't wish for a cure.
That's just the way it is and I'm just fine with it.
That's what we get from AA if done right.

FightingIrish

Don't think of drinking at all. Was through all the steps with a sponsor at 6 months. I actively work with newcomers and take commitments.

Am amazed by how well life goes when I bend to what it brings. I was joking with a friend in the program today, "why did it all seem so hard before?"

I am dealing with stuff now that I know when I was drinking would have drowned me.

M

Dee74

I'm with Astro Jen - life can be tough, especially when you've customarily ran away from dealing with stuff in the past - but, for me, it really does get easier all the time to ignore the thought of wanting to run, escape, anaesthetise, or whatever.

Sure I get impulses - some fleeting, some more lasting - but they're not obsessions.
You just get to the point where you know drinking's not an option anymore
D

Sugah

Hmm... I haven't experienced sobriety becoming more difficult. What I have experienced is life in general becoming more difficult. I drank and drugged away most of my responsibilities, and at the end, my primary responsibility (that I was still able to meet) was staying drunk or stoned so that I didn't have to think about all that I drank or drugged away.

Now, the longer I'm sober, the more my life fills with responsibilities and challenges--and I'm damned grateful for them. I saw a sign on a six-pack store: ICE COLD 12-PACKS - $6.99!! The thought that followed seemed to come from nowhere: "Wow, that's a bargain!" (I have no idea if it's a bargain, as I don't know what beer costs these days) As soon as I recognized the thought, I felt a physical recoil from it ("as from a hot flame"). What did I do? I got my ass to a meeting. Was my sobriety threatened? I don't think so. I didn't feel like drinking. I think it was meant as a reminder to me that the drink is still there--so I'd best continue trudging.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Cathy31

Rufus - wonderful!
My boyfriend and I read this, this morning. What a great reminder. I too feel that I have been freed from the desire to drink today and I shall go to bed sober tonight. I have asked God to keep me sober today and will thank him tonight. I am however vigilant cause if I grab my own will into my own hands again I might give up that Grace that God so freely gives me so I gotta be vigilant - but I am not afraid.
Cathy31
x