Did I blow it?
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
First of all August I'd like to say Welcome! and Congratulations on the life saving decision you made to stop drinking. . . .and at such a young age!
My opinion: I remember an oldtimer telling me back in 1980 how he defined being Clean & Sober. Being clean is fairly easy. . . simple abstinence from all mood altering chemicals (unless prescribed by a Dr. and take as directed.) Being sober is a whole different story. Sobriety is not only abstaining but changing everything negative and associated with using. Not just old people, places and things, but thoughts, behaviors and actions. Many refer to this as being on a dry drunk. In the past, I had periods of clean time throughout my struggle for Sobriety, but I wasn't sober. I still had the negative thoughts, actions and behaviors. I was miserable. I still blamed everyone else for my problems, I thought that God had not only forgotten me, but was punishing me for things in my past. I couldn't forgive anyone for what I thought were wrongs in my life, much less forgive myself. I hung on to all of the negativity. Quite simply, the only thing I changed was I stopping putting chemicals in my body. I have adopted these definitions of being Clean & Sober.
I feel that you are the only person who can decide if you need to change your Sobriety Date. If it were me though, I would have to change it. It seems like if you are questioning yourself, you already have your answer. Usually we know in our hearts what the answers are. Beingjenagain summed it up beautifully. I think you need to Pray and let go and give it to God. All of this worrying and questioning yourself is only putting yourself at risk for possibly saying, "Ah, to hell with it, I screwed up by smoking some pot so I might as well go ahead and have a few drinks because I'm starting over anyway." This disease of addiction is a sneaky thing, it can come at us from out of nowhere and before we know it,WHAM!
I've also seen so many people switch their drug of choice so fast and easily. It's so easy to be sitting around smoking a few joints with friends and have the strength to pass up a drink but someone could offer you some legal, prescribed Xanax for example and if your high, you know it's a lot easier to be convince yourself that it's ok . . . after all, the Dr. prescribed it, right? My DOC was prescription narcotics . . . all of them were legal and prescribed. But most weren't prescribed to me.
Let go and let God. And keep posting . . . and welcome to the SR Family.
Judy
My opinion: I remember an oldtimer telling me back in 1980 how he defined being Clean & Sober. Being clean is fairly easy. . . simple abstinence from all mood altering chemicals (unless prescribed by a Dr. and take as directed.) Being sober is a whole different story. Sobriety is not only abstaining but changing everything negative and associated with using. Not just old people, places and things, but thoughts, behaviors and actions. Many refer to this as being on a dry drunk. In the past, I had periods of clean time throughout my struggle for Sobriety, but I wasn't sober. I still had the negative thoughts, actions and behaviors. I was miserable. I still blamed everyone else for my problems, I thought that God had not only forgotten me, but was punishing me for things in my past. I couldn't forgive anyone for what I thought were wrongs in my life, much less forgive myself. I hung on to all of the negativity. Quite simply, the only thing I changed was I stopping putting chemicals in my body. I have adopted these definitions of being Clean & Sober.
I feel that you are the only person who can decide if you need to change your Sobriety Date. If it were me though, I would have to change it. It seems like if you are questioning yourself, you already have your answer. Usually we know in our hearts what the answers are. Beingjenagain summed it up beautifully. I think you need to Pray and let go and give it to God. All of this worrying and questioning yourself is only putting yourself at risk for possibly saying, "Ah, to hell with it, I screwed up by smoking some pot so I might as well go ahead and have a few drinks because I'm starting over anyway." This disease of addiction is a sneaky thing, it can come at us from out of nowhere and before we know it,WHAM!
I've also seen so many people switch their drug of choice so fast and easily. It's so easy to be sitting around smoking a few joints with friends and have the strength to pass up a drink but someone could offer you some legal, prescribed Xanax for example and if your high, you know it's a lot easier to be convince yourself that it's ok . . . after all, the Dr. prescribed it, right? My DOC was prescription narcotics . . . all of them were legal and prescribed. But most weren't prescribed to me.
Let go and let God. And keep posting . . . and welcome to the SR Family.
Judy
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