internet friends an how do you explain it
Being Me for the first time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
internet friends an how do you explain it
Something crossed my mind and wanted to see how other people in SR andother areas handle something of this nature. Ive been chatting since 99 and have had many chat friends. Now SR is a big big part of my life since joining. and I feel as tho Ive made some wonderful relationship thu the screen. my husband knows I chat and has never had a problem with it and i speak of ppl i talk with in here and others . My question is how do people take to you having online chat friends . exp ..my friend on sr is ??? and does this ... not always talkin bout the program but just in general things we all do here there .Do you get funny looks do they relate I was just curious to how others thanks and ya all have a great day !
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Friends are friends, no matter what "kind" of friends they are. I haven't seen my best childhood friend for 14 years but we communicate by email a lot. That doesn't take away from our friendship. It matters not if friends are across the street or across the world - friends love and support you and that's what friendship is all about.
:ghug3
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
I get some looks sometimes when I talk about my "friends" on SR. I think unless you've done it, imeaning posted and responded to the threads here, it's hard to relate. The people on SR are some of the most honest and raw individuals I have ever met. They have no agenda other than to help and be helped.
I have been extremely fortunate in that two ladies I met on SR and I have become so close that we eventually exchanged phone numbers and talk all the time. Because we are so intermingled in each others lives now, we talk about everything under the sun and not just recovery. I love them so much.
I am in North Carolina. One of my SR friend's is in Ohio and the other in Oregon. I expect I will never meet these exceptional women and although it breaks my heart to know that I'll never be able to thank them in person for the love and support they have shown me, I am so blessed to know them and call them my very best friends.
I have been extremely fortunate in that two ladies I met on SR and I have become so close that we eventually exchanged phone numbers and talk all the time. Because we are so intermingled in each others lives now, we talk about everything under the sun and not just recovery. I love them so much.
I am in North Carolina. One of my SR friend's is in Ohio and the other in Oregon. I expect I will never meet these exceptional women and although it breaks my heart to know that I'll never be able to thank them in person for the love and support they have shown me, I am so blessed to know them and call them my very best friends.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
I think we are a community of like minded people. That makes us friends. We might never meet in real life, but that doesn't mean I don't actually care about you and your struggle. I have met a few forum members and it's always been great. I like to believe the best in people and I haven't been let down yet.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Historically, a lot of people developed letter-writing friendships.
And, what we are doing here is not that much different.
I do talk about my cyber-friends because they are clearly my friends.
And, what we are doing here is not that much different.
I do talk about my cyber-friends because they are clearly my friends.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
my local friends have often refered to themselves as my "real" friends...they just don't get it and I also think are somewhat jelous of the time I spend here.
My SR friends are just as real as my AA friends and other friends. I went through a phase where I tried to not mention friends that were on-line cause of the wierd reactions I get...but right now my attitude is that I don't care if they "get it" or not...its a part of my life that I talk about and they'll just have to get use to that.
My sponsor "gets it" so that helps.
I need to just be real with people about who I am and how they react is up to them...I think
My SR friends are just as real as my AA friends and other friends. I went through a phase where I tried to not mention friends that were on-line cause of the wierd reactions I get...but right now my attitude is that I don't care if they "get it" or not...its a part of my life that I talk about and they'll just have to get use to that.
My sponsor "gets it" so that helps.
I need to just be real with people about who I am and how they react is up to them...I think
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
When I first got on line back in '98 I found a pretty neat recovery site, that has since expired. However, I met several friends on there that I am still friends with. Carol D was one of them, lol.
There was another lady, BigMama that I started IMing with. Then we exchanged phone numbers and talked almost every day. She was in central Illinois and I am in southern NM. She helped me a lot emotionally when at the end of 2000 it was pronounced by several doctors that I could no longer work and my long fight with Social Security started. She kept me sane.
Where she lived there was not much 'quality health care' and she too was deteriorating and after much discussion she chose to move down here with me to get some better health care.
Well....................................it's been 1 year, 11 1/2 months that we have been room mates and it is GREAT. People think we are sisters, as we finish each other sentences, of course, we were doing that long before she moved down here, lol We are just so much alike and are good support for each other.
There is another dear friend, that I met here at SR, she's no longer here, however, I got my first Belgian Sheepdog from here. She warned me they were addictive, I didn't believe her, roflmao 7 months later I got my second one from another great breeder.
My point is, what other people think of me or my IMing or my making friends on line, is none of my business. What my HP and I think of it is. I am careful, but have PM'd my phone number to those in real need who need to vent and talk, and I call them back if need be as I have unlimited cheap long distance.
I really wouldn't worry about what others think of your on line friends, as they haven't walked a mile in your shoes. It's really none of their business.
I would suggest being careful in IMing on WHAT YOU REVEAL until you are REALLY SURE of the person. As to the folks here on SR, you can see when they joined and how much they have participated and you can get a pretty good idea of them by what they post.
So for this alkie, on line friends are great, and since I always hated writing letters, rofl it's much better than having a pen pal, lmao
J M H O
Love and hugs,
There was another lady, BigMama that I started IMing with. Then we exchanged phone numbers and talked almost every day. She was in central Illinois and I am in southern NM. She helped me a lot emotionally when at the end of 2000 it was pronounced by several doctors that I could no longer work and my long fight with Social Security started. She kept me sane.
Where she lived there was not much 'quality health care' and she too was deteriorating and after much discussion she chose to move down here with me to get some better health care.
Well....................................it's been 1 year, 11 1/2 months that we have been room mates and it is GREAT. People think we are sisters, as we finish each other sentences, of course, we were doing that long before she moved down here, lol We are just so much alike and are good support for each other.
There is another dear friend, that I met here at SR, she's no longer here, however, I got my first Belgian Sheepdog from here. She warned me they were addictive, I didn't believe her, roflmao 7 months later I got my second one from another great breeder.
My point is, what other people think of me or my IMing or my making friends on line, is none of my business. What my HP and I think of it is. I am careful, but have PM'd my phone number to those in real need who need to vent and talk, and I call them back if need be as I have unlimited cheap long distance.
I really wouldn't worry about what others think of your on line friends, as they haven't walked a mile in your shoes. It's really none of their business.
I would suggest being careful in IMing on WHAT YOU REVEAL until you are REALLY SURE of the person. As to the folks here on SR, you can see when they joined and how much they have participated and you can get a pretty good idea of them by what they post.
So for this alkie, on line friends are great, and since I always hated writing letters, rofl it's much better than having a pen pal, lmao
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 146
I post on a couple of other forums (non related to this subject) and have about 10,000 posts on there. My wife calls them my 'imaginary friends'
Like one other contributor said - just be aware of the scam merchants who sucker you in with sob stories and requests for attention or money. The forum world is like an ocean of fish - and a few sharks patrol the water.
Like one other contributor said - just be aware of the scam merchants who sucker you in with sob stories and requests for attention or money. The forum world is like an ocean of fish - and a few sharks patrol the water.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Laurie is so correct....
I know countless people from coming on line in '92.
I know Big mama too.
Frank P lives in the next town over.
I met him on AEB the site Laurie mentioned
He introduced me around in this Ga. home group.
Carol87 ..who helped me with my first Mod job
on AASL also uses SR sometimes.
Another AEB graduate!
A few SR members have dropped in to see
how we do Dallas meetings...recently it was Astro.
When I went to the International Convention 2000
I was tickled to meet many cyber friends F2F.
Y'all are just as real as my neighbors!
:ghug
I know countless people from coming on line in '92.
I know Big mama too.
Frank P lives in the next town over.
I met him on AEB the site Laurie mentioned
He introduced me around in this Ga. home group.
Carol87 ..who helped me with my first Mod job
on AASL also uses SR sometimes.
Another AEB graduate!
A few SR members have dropped in to see
how we do Dallas meetings...recently it was Astro.
When I went to the International Convention 2000
I was tickled to meet many cyber friends F2F.
Y'all are just as real as my neighbors!
:ghug
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
LOL - this topic seems to come up on every single social network/online forum I've ever been on.
In my experience, there are two groups of people out there: those who get it, and those who don't. Those who "get it" won't bat an eye when you tell them you met one of your very best friends ever online. They will understand how it happens and how close you can become. Those who don't "get it" will give you the deer-in-the-headlights stare, and ask how you could EVER talk to someone "in one of those chat room thingies". And GOD FORBID you tell them you MET - IN PERSON - someone you met online!
Places like MySpace and Facebook help people understand the concept, but also hurt our argument - because of stalkers and predators. People just need to understand that those bad guys are the minority... that "real" people really do chat online, about "normal" things (not all "chat rooms" and message boards are about sex! LOL).
I take it with a grain of salt now. I've met so many of my online friends, and I've gone to visit them, and they've come to my house... they aren't my online friends, they are my FRIENDS. If anyone else has a problem with that, well, it's their problem. They don't know what they're missing.
In my experience, there are two groups of people out there: those who get it, and those who don't. Those who "get it" won't bat an eye when you tell them you met one of your very best friends ever online. They will understand how it happens and how close you can become. Those who don't "get it" will give you the deer-in-the-headlights stare, and ask how you could EVER talk to someone "in one of those chat room thingies". And GOD FORBID you tell them you MET - IN PERSON - someone you met online!
Places like MySpace and Facebook help people understand the concept, but also hurt our argument - because of stalkers and predators. People just need to understand that those bad guys are the minority... that "real" people really do chat online, about "normal" things (not all "chat rooms" and message boards are about sex! LOL).
I take it with a grain of salt now. I've met so many of my online friends, and I've gone to visit them, and they've come to my house... they aren't my online friends, they are my FRIENDS. If anyone else has a problem with that, well, it's their problem. They don't know what they're missing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
My family and friends are so used to my "recovery friends" that dad even thinks of a few of them as family.
I've always been open, at work, about my addiction and recovery, so people understand. Of course, I tell them about the funny stories..how someone's dog is driving them crazy, or something else that has nothing to do with recovery.
I e-mail and talk to a few friends I've met here, and got to meet one when she came to Atlanta. If I ever get the time and money to take a vacation, it will most likely be to meet one of my friends f2f.
If people don't "get it", that's their problem. I know how much my friends, here, mean to me.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I've always been open, at work, about my addiction and recovery, so people understand. Of course, I tell them about the funny stories..how someone's dog is driving them crazy, or something else that has nothing to do with recovery.
I e-mail and talk to a few friends I've met here, and got to meet one when she came to Atlanta. If I ever get the time and money to take a vacation, it will most likely be to meet one of my friends f2f.
If people don't "get it", that's their problem. I know how much my friends, here, mean to me.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
I have met a lot of good friends,male and female online.I do not go to chat rooms much,but I do make 2 online meetings a week in a chat room.
I have talked over the phone with many of my friends I meet online.
I live in North Carolina,and my wife and I have had quite a few stop by the house and spend the night (saves a motel bill)as they travel North or South up and down the east coast.
There has not been a negative experience yet.The last 2 years Nancy L from Vir. ,whom I met online,has drove down to NC to speak for me on my AA B-day and she has done a good job.The first weekend in Oct,a AA couple from Pensacola Florida are going to come up and stay 4 nights with us.I met a young man sober 24 yrs,a past Area Delegate from NJ,who is now my service sponsor.I have met him f2f and lov the dude a lot.Great GUy!
If anyone ever wants to talk over the phone PM me...
I have talked over the phone with many of my friends I meet online.
I live in North Carolina,and my wife and I have had quite a few stop by the house and spend the night (saves a motel bill)as they travel North or South up and down the east coast.
There has not been a negative experience yet.The last 2 years Nancy L from Vir. ,whom I met online,has drove down to NC to speak for me on my AA B-day and she has done a good job.The first weekend in Oct,a AA couple from Pensacola Florida are going to come up and stay 4 nights with us.I met a young man sober 24 yrs,a past Area Delegate from NJ,who is now my service sponsor.I have met him f2f and lov the dude a lot.Great GUy!
If anyone ever wants to talk over the phone PM me...
Being Me for the first time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
thanks everyone for your replys i was just curious what others go thu on this . And Trying i like your stand on things . I gotta tell you I married the man of my dreams lil over 2 weeks ago that I met online .. yes it does on occassion really work , I dont care either what people think . im a lucky lady hes soo wonderful ! . Ive met many ppl on line not one from here as of yet . But one never knows tho most were from other places online Ive met a few that i care not to ever talk with again but like anything theres always one bad apple in a bag. But most are still very good friends to this day . Thanks again for ya' alls comments .. Mrs O :atv
In June we'll celebrate our 10th anniversary!
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