problemchild

Thanks to all of you that have sent me pm's showing concern it means alot to me, i just got home yesterday after having to stay out longer than usual at work . Had to make up for the month on the islands, not cheap down there.
As far as my sobriety is concerned i am sober but still having problems connecting to my higher power and changing my thoughts on what, or who my higher power actually is. Was always taught that it was God (a old man with a staff and white hair and beard) or Jesus (a young man with a beard) and that if you did certain things you would burn in hell or if you were good you would live in heaven.In other words i was scared of God pretty much my whole upbringing, just my ideas of what a higher power was to me back then and what i was taught..Silly huh ? oh well ..

Take care,

John

problemchild

Just to clarify a little, i do not believe there is a God that is waiting for me to screw up so he can punish me, the above is just a little peek into what was drilled in my head as a young man. Makes it really tuff to grasp the concept of a higher being in another way.
I guess my higher power , if i had to choose right now, would be AA and this site.

Take care,
John

scorpiogirl

Quote:

Originally Posted by problemchild

i am sober but still having problems connecting to my higher power and changing my thoughts on what. Was always taught that it was God (a old man with a staff and white hair and beard) or Jesus (a young man with a beard) and that if you did certain things you would burn in hell or if you were good you would live in heaven. In other words i was scared of God pretty much my whole upbringing..
Silly huh?

No, not silly at all You're definately not alone in this thinking. Lots and lots of people come into program with the exact same thoughts....or they don't even believe at all. Growing up, we're either given wrong information or no information. That's one of the beauties of the program, you can learn to start to change your concept of a God and believe the way you want to. Eventually, you will shed that punishing God and clothe yourself with one that fits better.

Just hang on. Bring the body, the mind will follow.

nandm

I struggled with the HP thing for a long time as the HP my mind would always picture was the fire and brimstone God of my childhood. That was a God that I knew hated me because I was never going to be perfect enough for Him. I had no doubts that I was going to hell and there was nothing that I could do to change that. So needless to say I wanted nothing to do with that conception of a HP.

What finally worked for me was to set that God aside and put the HP thing in an entirely new perspective. What worked for me was the concept of electricity, energy. It is more powerful than I, I can not fully explain it, I have some idea how it works, I know that our bodies utilize a form of electricity/energy to keep our hearts pumping and muscles moving, and it is pretty much everywhere in the universe. Every living thing needs and uses it. I figured since it is more powerful than I and there was much I did not know about it, that it could possibly be powerful enough to help relieve me of my alcoholism.

With that simple start I have developed a little more sophisticated picture of a HP and have ever gotten to where I do not discount the God of my childhood anymore although that is not my primary HP.

Sorry if this sounds stupid but it worked for me.

CarolD

John...
my God is the childhood Sunday School
God of love and forgiveness.
I loved going to sing and hear the storeis

I'm sad to know your past experiences were not so positive.

Thanks for checking in ..

Tazman53

You know John perhaps what Ebbie said to Bill may help.

Worked for that alcoholic Bill W., why can't it work for you?

Quote Bill again if I may:

I made this far harder for my self, like Bill did originally, and got no where until I did as Ebbie suggested to Bill, I simply became "willing to beleive". I had no concept or real understanding of my HP then, but I was "willing to beleive". It was a start.