MADD - Have you attended their program?
To Thine Own Self Be True
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
MADD - Have you attended their program?
Hi all.
I got a DUI during my last drunk.
In California you have to attend a one hour panel as part of your program.
So I went to mine tonight.
I am so tore up right now.
I have not stopped crying for the last hour and a half.
I am so lucky I did not kill anyone during my drinking career. All the times I drove drunk. I feel so terrible and guilty.
I can not believe how selfish and stupid I was.
Ugh.
The last speaker was a woman who got a DUI, quit driving and eventually got into recovery.
When she had 4 years sobriety, her 17 yr old daughter and her best friend were killed by a drunk driver.
I lost it and have not stopped.
Has anyone else had to go through this program? If so, how did it affect you?
Thanks for letting me share.
I got a DUI during my last drunk.
In California you have to attend a one hour panel as part of your program.
So I went to mine tonight.
I am so tore up right now.
I have not stopped crying for the last hour and a half.
I am so lucky I did not kill anyone during my drinking career. All the times I drove drunk. I feel so terrible and guilty.
I can not believe how selfish and stupid I was.
Ugh.
The last speaker was a woman who got a DUI, quit driving and eventually got into recovery.
When she had 4 years sobriety, her 17 yr old daughter and her best friend were killed by a drunk driver.
I lost it and have not stopped.
Has anyone else had to go through this program? If so, how did it affect you?
Thanks for letting me share.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
At the one I was at, there were 300 people!
There were "groups" of friends. How does that happen?? What, you all got DUI's that weekend? What?
There was a group of four sitting next to me and one guy was telling the rest how to cheat on the AA attendance slips you have to turn into the program.
Another girl was complaining that she did not need to be there because she worked all day.
Ugh.
There were "groups" of friends. How does that happen?? What, you all got DUI's that weekend? What?
There was a group of four sitting next to me and one guy was telling the rest how to cheat on the AA attendance slips you have to turn into the program.
Another girl was complaining that she did not need to be there because she worked all day.
Ugh.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
I attended one about 5 years ago. Here in WA they call it a 'Victims Panel'. They only offer so many time slots, so you get a week to a months worth of DUI offenders on any one occasion. I'm sure there were some tragic stories and that I was emotionally effected (I get upset over dead animals in the road), but I honestly don't remember any details.
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
TTOSBT. I got 2 in under 8 months , I was so stinkin mad at the cop , ironically he busted me on both of them . How imbarrassing is that one . But today im very greatful for him doingh is job , my stupidity luckly didnt cause someones death. But i attended a class ordered by the courts not as many ppl as yours but it was a long day and i had just got outta jail that nite for my 2nd one , apparently i didnt learn the first time ( still have that paper i wrote that one ) But i think the reason so many in the class Is they only have so many and that just happens to be how it is in such a big class , Breath in your doing fine and its just something we gotta go thu to help us stay sober .. big hug
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
22 years ago when I got my DUI I had to sit and listen to a victims panel. Unfortunately, I still drank for another 15 years before I got the message that I was the problem they were talking about. A little slow I guess......
To Thine Own Self Be True
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Thanks guys.
Yes, doorknob, that is EXACTLY what it was. A victims panel.
I am paying my consequences for the DUI today and I am fine with that. I VERY much deserve it. I am just grateful I do not have to attend for every time I got drunk and drove and did not get caught!!
It was very powerful. I wish that it was a requirement of your drivers license. Maybe it could change people's attitude BEFORE they make the mistake of drinking and driving. I know that a lot of people in that room are not alcoholics, just drove drunk. That is tragic and I am very blessed not to pay those consequences today.
Yes, doorknob, that is EXACTLY what it was. A victims panel.
I am paying my consequences for the DUI today and I am fine with that. I VERY much deserve it. I am just grateful I do not have to attend for every time I got drunk and drove and did not get caught!!
It was very powerful. I wish that it was a requirement of your drivers license. Maybe it could change people's attitude BEFORE they make the mistake of drinking and driving. I know that a lot of people in that room are not alcoholics, just drove drunk. That is tragic and I am very blessed not to pay those consequences today.
TruthJustice
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Boondocks
Posts: 112
TTOSBT,
I'm so glad you have learned and no one was hurt. My gf used to work for MADD and would have people call in daily regarding DD unfortunately they could only tell them to notify the police.
This story is heart-wrenching but worth watching - although ***please be warned this video has VERY GRAPHIC images/content...***
YouTube - Jacqueline Saburido: The Short Story
I'm so glad you have learned and no one was hurt. My gf used to work for MADD and would have people call in daily regarding DD unfortunately they could only tell them to notify the police.
This story is heart-wrenching but worth watching - although ***please be warned this video has VERY GRAPHIC images/content...***
YouTube - Jacqueline Saburido: The Short Story
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Wow. VeritasAequitas that was so powerfully sad. My son had to see a similar if not the same video in one of his classes in highschool, he was disturbed for quite sometime.
Maybe it would be a good idea if all 15 year olds were made to watch this.
Would it make a difference?
Maybe it would be a good idea if all 15 year olds were made to watch this.
Would it make a difference?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
VA, thank you for sharing that. But for the grace of God, there go I.
I agree, it'd be nice if it were shown at high schools or even at AA meetings. How many times did I say to myself "oh I'm not that bad, I don't drink like that"?
No I haven't attended a MADD meeting, but after reading this I'd like to try one. Thanks for a thought provoking post TTOSBT.
I agree, it'd be nice if it were shown at high schools or even at AA meetings. How many times did I say to myself "oh I'm not that bad, I don't drink like that"?
No I haven't attended a MADD meeting, but after reading this I'd like to try one. Thanks for a thought provoking post TTOSBT.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
I think that is wonderful that your son was shown a video in high school TooMuch. Though I would rather that they not be shown graphic crash blood and guts stuff as they might just choose to block that out. I would rather that these folks I listened to go to the schools and share their stories.
I think it was great to hear the three I did. One was paralyzed at 19, and his friend killed by a drunk driver on their bikes. The driver was only 23
One was a girl who lost her sister to a drunk driver when she was 23 and one was the mother I described. I could so relate to her. That is what i think it takes. To hear someone that you can relate to and can not "block" out.
Thanks Astro:ghug2
I think it was great to hear the three I did. One was paralyzed at 19, and his friend killed by a drunk driver on their bikes. The driver was only 23
One was a girl who lost her sister to a drunk driver when she was 23 and one was the mother I described. I could so relate to her. That is what i think it takes. To hear someone that you can relate to and can not "block" out. Thanks Astro:ghug2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
I've never been to one but it seems to be the latest trend in the never ending battle against drunk drivers.
I will tell you that I don't think for a second I could have been scared into sobriety. I can also say that a Guilt Trip wouldn't work either.
Who are they kidding? It might work for an occasional drinker that just happend to get stopped on the way home from F.A.C. Thier chances of it heppening again are pretty slim anyways. We're Alcoholics.
It won't work for us. When it comes to my drinking issues I've tried every possible aproach to put it behind me. Nothing worked.
For me to think that an Impact Panel would have been the answer would be foolish. For them to think the same Impact Panel would work for me would be just as foolish.
I know it's about drinking and driving and not just drinking. If I drink you can mark my words. I will drive too. That's a guaranteed fact.
Only an insane person would drink after the hell that Alcohol has put most of us through. Yet we do!
Impact Panel!
Disclaimer: "My opinion only and not to be taken as fact"
I will tell you that I don't think for a second I could have been scared into sobriety. I can also say that a Guilt Trip wouldn't work either.
Who are they kidding? It might work for an occasional drinker that just happend to get stopped on the way home from F.A.C. Thier chances of it heppening again are pretty slim anyways. We're Alcoholics.
It won't work for us. When it comes to my drinking issues I've tried every possible aproach to put it behind me. Nothing worked.
For me to think that an Impact Panel would have been the answer would be foolish. For them to think the same Impact Panel would work for me would be just as foolish.
I know it's about drinking and driving and not just drinking. If I drink you can mark my words. I will drive too. That's a guaranteed fact.
Only an insane person would drink after the hell that Alcohol has put most of us through. Yet we do!
Impact Panel!
Disclaimer: "My opinion only and not to be taken as fact"
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 773
Pincuka, I agree with you. It is simply not possible for DUI's to entirely stop. I know a few "hard core" alcoholics who continue to drink & drive with no license/insurance. I heard some states are starting to take away their cars though.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Would it make a difference?
I drove all the time drunk, not something I am proud of, I darn sure knew better, I still am amazed I only got one DUI and that was back in 84, I did total a truck drunk 10 months before I got sober while I was drunk, it was (Thank God) a single vehicle accident and I did not call the cops for about 3-4 hours after the accident to where my BAC would get lower. I still blew a .08 but the cop didn't charge me, he said by the time they got me to the station I would probably be down below the legal limit.
I lost a cousin to a drunk driver when I was 18, that didn't stop me.
I am not saying they should not show these films in HS, they should, it will save some lifes of kids who may still be able to think before they get behind the wheel.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Thanks Veritas but I know Pinkcuda and he meant no harm. I understand the point. We were not done until we were done. Trust me, I am not a stupid woman and I drove under the influence almost every day! Why? Because I would rather drink my wine in the car on the way home from work to try and hide it from my husband. I drove my kids around under the influence. Why? Because to say I could not would have been admitting I was under the influence.
I hear you too Taz. BUT, there may be that ONE person at the Victim impact panel or high school that will hear the message and think twice next time before they drink and drive. I sure hope so.
According to my husband, the reason I was so strongly affected is because I actually give a s&#* today. Unfortunately most of the people there don't consider what they did a problem, they consider that they got caught a problem.
Thank you all for participating (I don't start a lot of threads)! :ghug
I hear you too Taz. BUT, there may be that ONE person at the Victim impact panel or high school that will hear the message and think twice next time before they drink and drive. I sure hope so.
According to my husband, the reason I was so strongly affected is because I actually give a s&#* today. Unfortunately most of the people there don't consider what they did a problem, they consider that they got caught a problem.
Thank you all for participating (I don't start a lot of threads)! :ghug
Day One's Can RIP!!!
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Far & Wide
Posts: 244
.
I doubt that it would have stopped me from drinking but it might have stopped me from driving drunk. I was just as happy to drink at home as I was to drink at a bar.
And if it worked for the one "occasional drinker" who might have gone on to kill one of my loved ones, then bring on the victim's panels.
I doubt that it would have stopped me from drinking but it might have stopped me from driving drunk. I was just as happy to drink at home as I was to drink at a bar.
Originally Posted by Pinkcuda 
It might work for an occasional drinker that just happend to get stopped on the way home from F.A.C. Thier chances of it heppening again are pretty slim anyways.
Impact Panel!
Disclaimer: "My opinion only and not to be taken as fact"
Impact Panel!
Disclaimer: "My opinion only and not to be taken as fact"
And if it worked for the one "occasional drinker" who might have gone on to kill one of my loved ones, then bring on the victim's panels.
TruthJustice
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Boondocks
Posts: 112
Taz,
Forgive me for saying so - I admire you greatly, you weren't ready to see it in HS. I wasn't ready to see it in HS.
My anger gathers in the disrespect that exists in dishonoring the dead by the likes of us. To shame the dead and their families as sober members of society to prove that it wouldn't have mattered is dishonorable.
I've never had someone die from drunk driving, but Thank God, I can finally see this life through there eyes and to be so selfish as to ignore the impact such a statement could have on the vicitim's family in this thread just to prove a point makes me a bit heated...
Be mindful of who may be reading this thread.
$0.02
Forgive me for saying so - I admire you greatly, you weren't ready to see it in HS. I wasn't ready to see it in HS.
My anger gathers in the disrespect that exists in dishonoring the dead by the likes of us. To shame the dead and their families as sober members of society to prove that it wouldn't have mattered is dishonorable.
I've never had someone die from drunk driving, but Thank God, I can finally see this life through there eyes and to be so selfish as to ignore the impact such a statement could have on the vicitim's family in this thread just to prove a point makes me a bit heated...
Be mindful of who may be reading this thread.
$0.02
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
From my perspective:
A DUI will cost you $10,000.00 The fact is that $8,000.00 of this will go to people that actually want you to get a DUI.
This includes Insurance Companies, Alcohol Counselors and DUI Attorneys and anyone else sticking their hand out for a buck when you get one. That also includes those that profit from an Impact Panel. (they aren't free)
None of this money goes directly towards prevention and other alternatives.
Last year here in Colorado the number of Alcohol related deaths went up. Not down like you would expect from tougher laws.
My proposal is simple. What happens after the fact is moot. The offense has occured and it's too late. Something isn't working.
So here goes! When you get a DUI you will pay $4000.00 directly to the Court. There will be no plea bargaining. It will cost you $4000.00 with no exception. You may bring a lawyer but it will just be an extra expense.
We will not interfere with your drivers license, your job your insurance. There will be no Alcohol Classes since they don't work anyways. There will also be no jail or community service. You will simply pay $4000.00
Take the 36,000 DUIs a year in Colorado alone and multiply by $4000.00 and you will get $144,000,000.00 for the state to use towards the "Prevention" by adding 144 million dollars a year towards more Police Officers and before the fact Education programs. These added Officers will be DUI enforcement only. They will not deviate from that duty to serve other purposes. They will be DUI only.
Before it happens is the time to think about DUI prevention, not after. I honestly don't believe the State wasnt so stop drinking and driving. It's great economic stimulus.
As soon as I believe they are more interested in Public Safety than justifying the existance of someone that has greased a few palms at the state level, I may change my mind.
A DUI will cost you $10,000.00 The fact is that $8,000.00 of this will go to people that actually want you to get a DUI.
This includes Insurance Companies, Alcohol Counselors and DUI Attorneys and anyone else sticking their hand out for a buck when you get one. That also includes those that profit from an Impact Panel. (they aren't free)
None of this money goes directly towards prevention and other alternatives.
Last year here in Colorado the number of Alcohol related deaths went up. Not down like you would expect from tougher laws.
My proposal is simple. What happens after the fact is moot. The offense has occured and it's too late. Something isn't working.
So here goes! When you get a DUI you will pay $4000.00 directly to the Court. There will be no plea bargaining. It will cost you $4000.00 with no exception. You may bring a lawyer but it will just be an extra expense.
We will not interfere with your drivers license, your job your insurance. There will be no Alcohol Classes since they don't work anyways. There will also be no jail or community service. You will simply pay $4000.00
Take the 36,000 DUIs a year in Colorado alone and multiply by $4000.00 and you will get $144,000,000.00 for the state to use towards the "Prevention" by adding 144 million dollars a year towards more Police Officers and before the fact Education programs. These added Officers will be DUI enforcement only. They will not deviate from that duty to serve other purposes. They will be DUI only.
Before it happens is the time to think about DUI prevention, not after. I honestly don't believe the State wasnt so stop drinking and driving. It's great economic stimulus.
As soon as I believe they are more interested in Public Safety than justifying the existance of someone that has greased a few palms at the state level, I may change my mind.
TruthJustice
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Boondocks
Posts: 112
If I take a top level view of what you said here is what I see...
1. Get a DUI
2. Pay more than you "should"
The debt you pay monetarily is second to the debt you should be paying to society. This is not a scam to take your money, it's a scam to save lives; And to blame the court system, the government, or anyone else other than YOURSELF is...[censored].
If the offender hits and kills a person should they be responsible for more because they got "caught?"
1. Get a DUI
2. Pay more than you "should"
The debt you pay monetarily is second to the debt you should be paying to society. This is not a scam to take your money, it's a scam to save lives; And to blame the court system, the government, or anyone else other than YOURSELF is...[censored].
If the offender hits and kills a person should they be responsible for more because they got "caught?"
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