smallfry

Aargh. Day one again. I really want this, but am having difficulty dealing with cravings. Once I get the idea in my head, it won't leave and I end up drinking.

When this happens, I don't do the stuff I'm supposed to - call my sponsor, go to a meeting, etc.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I can't go on this way anymore.

laurie6781

Here's a place that is not too far from you, it's in Santa Cruz, it's affordable to all as it is 'non profit' and accepts donations. It's a great place, I know of many that have gone through not only their detox, but their rehab and are doing great today.

Janus of Santa Cruz - Leaders in substance abuse treatment

By going into Janus, you would get past those 'initial' cravings and learn how to deal with them.

Just a thought.

Love and hugs,

gravity

What kind of thoughts did you have leading up to that first drink?

For example:

I can handle alcohol
I can't enjoy my life without alcohol
This time will be different
This is the only way I can relieve stress, boredom, loneliness, etc.
I am blowing my drinking problem out of proportion

Initially, it really helped to know why I kept drinking even though it was making me so miserable. In my case, all of these examples were pure delusion, obsession. I had to learn to accept that my thinking was wrong and then start working the solution.

Lenina

laurie,

That looks like a great place! Thanks for the reference.

Love,

Lenina

endzoner

occupy the mind and hands worked for me , Writing in a journal of what was going on , walkin, riding a bike around town , makin a silly list of things that you need to do , weather its getting the cob webs from behind the couch or orginizing your closet . when you feel an urge , look at the list and pick something on it , keep it on the frig . what ever it takes on a pinch to deture the stinkin feeling .. peace n serenity to you Mrs O:bounce

smallfry

Thanks, that's a really good thing to think about. I really do have some problems with my thinking... denial and not wanting to accept the fact that I am an alcoholic. When I'm thinking clearly, I really do know that I can't handle alcohol, I can enjoy my life without alcohol, this time WON'T be different. But when that craving hits, it's hard to get there. I guess I need to just learn to stop and think through it when I'm having a craving.

maloneshawn32

Small Fry,
When I get cravings I just find something to do that takes the alcohols place. Not suggesting ths but I just go for a run or do some kind of workout. I end up feeling better knowing I filled the void with something healthy. If you get cravings during a certain of day or week try and schedule something to do during that time period i.e. go for a walk or just go somewhere that is awayfrom alcohol. I wish you the best and hope things work out for you.

Shawn

Dean62

Don't entertain the idea. Give it a moments time in your head and as you see it has won already. You don't even call your sponsor or another alcoholic.

Gravity gave a short list of the thoughts that hit before we succumb and drink. Not one of them are true for me today. Take some time now while you are sober and play the tape. Look at where you end up because that is where you will end up from now on. If that is ok then go ahead and drink. If it isn't then when the "idea" or the thoughts Grav mentioned enter your head know you are fooling yourself and don't entertain the lies. Then call your sponsor and or all the other suggestions given to you.

Cravings do go away.

smallfry

thanks, good advice. I usually end up giving it too much thought and the alcoholism takes over. I will just try that suggestion - make it not an option. head to a meeting when it happens.

fugfuggy

Here is my take, if you are a physically dependent alcoholic that drinks to get well, then go to detox then work on the mind. If you are a mental alcoholic then know that not drinking will not kill you so just don't drink no matter F***ing what. Find something else to do, as most have suggested. If you drink at night, like I did, and night time cravings and sleep are an issue, take some over the counter sleep aids. They actually reduce the cravings for me by quite a lot and I sleep soundly through he night now.

What also seems to be working for me thus far are the little milestones that I want to accomplish. I mean little! I had to meet with my daughters teacher this morning and looking forward to attending the meeting with clear eys, no smell and no hangover kept me sober last night. Tonight I drive my daughter and her friend home from gym. I used to do this with a couple of bottles of wine in me (for relief only) and I just knew that they smelled it on me as well as the parents of the other little girl. Now, picking her up and dropping her off knowing that there is no smell and no bloodshot eyes makes me very happy. There are many of these tiny milestones that keep me motivated daily to abstain from the drink.

Hope this helps.

lostbutterfly

I used to dread my older kids going out because I knew I would be drunk when I went to pick them up. Last Saturday morning I drove my little girl to swimming lessons, and realised I was still really drunk from the night before. I am really ashamed of that and I haven't had a drink since. My milestones have been very similar to yours!

fugfuggy

I can't tell you how many times I have driven my little one to school in the morning while still drunk from the night before. Wow, another small milestone accomplished this morning. First time driving her to school and having breakfast with her stone sober.

Harley3801

Ummmmm . . . . this may seem like a really simplistic answer but, how about trying the stuff you're supposed to do . . . . Call your sponsor. Go to a meeting.

nandm

What you are describing is the obsession. It will go away, eventually. For some it leaves quickly and for others it lasts quite a while.

Here is what worked for me, in no particular order.

• Take a hike, get out and enjoy nature
• take the dogs for a walk
• go to a meeting
• go for a drive in a scenic area if you have one nearby
• Read the Big Book
• Call your sponsor
• Call another alcoholic.......I was given many phone lists in early sobriety. The lady who introduced me to AA told me to pick up the phone at least once per day and call a number on the list. The main thing was reaching out to get my mind off the obsession
• Work out........I have a life sized dummy made for boxing that was a great way for me to get the frustrations of the obsession out in early sobriety. By the time I was done beating up on him I was too pooped to go get a drink.
• Pray........sometimes just something as simple as having a conversation in your head telling your HP how frustrated you are with this obsession helps.

Hope this helps

least

I don't have a whole lot of sober time under my belt yet - 60 days tomorrow - but I decided last December to stop drinking and it wasn't until mid-July that I finally WANTED to stop MORE THAN I WANTED TO CONTINUE drinking. I had so many Day Ones that I was sick of myself and disgusted with myself.

I don't know what was different about my July 14th Day One, I just wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Can't say why for sure, just something in me "snapped" and that "light bulb" went on and blinded me with the pure light of Truth. (don't know how to put it better)

The only AA meeting I go to now is my home group discussion meeting, but I am confident I will not drink again. I just "turned a corner" and now there's no going back to that way of life. I've had cravings for wine since stopping 59 days ago, but I'm a champion these days at winning the debate in my head "to drink or not to drink". I have to tell myself how awful my life had become and that it could only get worse if I drank. I don't know why, but that's working for me - to remind myself of where I'd end up if I started drinking again, and how desperately I wanted to stay away from that horrible place.

I just finally was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And now I feel better about myself than I've felt in a long time. I still have the same problems I always had, I just don't "medicate" with alcohol anymore. I know where I'll end up if I drink and, more than anything, I DON'T want to go back there.

CarolD

Welcome!...
In early sobriety....
I timed my cravings.

They were 5-7 minutes in duration.
Not too long too endure discomfort
.
Soooo....I took action.
Walked...rushed my teeth... Drank cold water...Hard candy

Within 2 weeks...the lessened in both time and intensity.
By 2 or so months .... they vanished.

Now...were they mental or physical?
Darn if I know. Nor do I care......

Peter

That's unfortunate for you because the two things you DONT do were the exact two things that helped me deal with the cravings.

I imagine i must have been something of a pest in AA with all the questions i was asking an the phonecalls every 3 1/2 minutes but hey I'm still sober.

The cravings will pass you know. You don't have to yield to them every time.

KarenOskie

I understand so much where you're at, Small fry. I have had a hell of a time with cravings for alcohol. I don't have a sponsor yet, and meetings are great but they aren't always available when I have the desire to drink. Prayer has been the best thing for me. I don't know where you stand with that, but if I ask God to help me through it, he always does. A good snack and a hot bath relax and renew me and give me a lift that I need. Putting it off for a half hour or a few minutes, even. Coming here, to SR has been a godsend. Napping is great, too, especially if I read a book about recovery while I'm falling asleep.
I think the person who suggested a detox and/or recovery facility had the best idea, though. I know I can't do that, and knowing that has also been a help for me. I've thought, "If I can't do it without going to treatment, then I am screwed!" and it's helped me to struggle through. But if there is any way you can manage it, please consider a treatment facility. It would give you such a great head start.

Homer38

how about keeping a drink such as water, juice or soda right next to you,we are in the habit of drinking something,of course we also go for the drunk but if its a drink not containing alcohol and within reach,its satisfying and usually enough to distract yourself.I drink water bottles now,i used to drink 15-20 beers a day so i have a habit of sipping for hours every few minutes,thats where the water comes in handy.try it,you have nothing to lose.

bostonluv

I don't go to meetings but what helped me was sitting down and spending time on this website. I also met two very witty friends that I can laugh with and that was incredibly helpful to me. I ate a lot of ice cream - all sorts of flavors from Haagan Das. Ice cream was my new cocktail hour tool. I really think we all need to plan ahead and make a recovery program that works best for us individualy. So pick some ideas and then work it! It's hard, it's a battle and you need support and patience and sometimes to just white knuckle it through bad times. I had one night on here I was poistive I wasn't going to make it but I put it off for an hour at a time until I got through it. Get determined. You deserve a better life than the one you have now.