digderidoo

First of all not that i have or thinking about it.

But it's hit me tonight, i have found out someone i know who has 3 years sober, has used drugs in that time.

I guess i kind of looked up to him, maybe put him on a pedestal and then to find out this it made me realise he's just human.

But i was thinking driving back from the meeting that surely that means he should change his sobriety date. Or does it? Being relatively new to AA (8 months), maybe i am looking too deep into it.

Paul

sugErspun

I don't know if he should change it or not (there is no rule because a sobriety date has no relevance to quality of sobriety) - I guess it depends on what he thinks 'sober' means, and how honest he wants to get.

What matters to me here is : Why does it bother me that this man does not change his sobriety date? Because it used to irk me to hear people stating how long they have been sober, if all they did was change substances.

I have inventoried this in the past - and what it really came down to is - "I wish I could get away with doing that."

digderidoo

Sugerspun,

I get what you are saying, in that why should it bother me if he changes it or not. I guess at the end of the day it is up to him.

Please do not think i am being judgemental on him in any way.

But at the same time i have listened to him over the months saying how long he is sober and looked up to that, giving him a congratulations. I guess i feel a bit duped, may be even bordering on lied to.

As for inventories, i am not that far ahead with the program at the moment. I have had trouble with step 3, so haven't got on to step 4. I guess when i do, i will look at how i feel about feeling duped or lied to.

Paul

Stobert

I have had a similar experience, someone I know from meetings picked up a white chip a year ago and said he was starting over with a new sobriety date because he had been abusing prescription painkillers. I heard a couple of weeks ago that he picked up a five year chip. It bothered me a little, but it's his sobriety, not mine, and if he has reconciled things and his comfortable with it, more power to him.

Freedom1990

Personally I can't claim sobriety while using other mind-altering chemicals.

I've known a few who continued to smoke weed on the side, and that experiment failed miserably in the end for them.

lizw

There was a thread about this on here recently.

I went to NA too for the first 4/5 years of my soberity so this one is a no brainer for me.....

I stay away from people in AA who do this too.
I don't need my head to start telling me it's ok for me too.

From memory, one of the guys in the other thread said smoking pot made him thirsty and always sent him to the money machine, then the bottle store...

AA also have a phamplet called 'AA members and other drugs' and there is a story in there about a guy who stops drinking but takes up smoking pot instead.

Dee74

I can't run anyone else's programme - to each their own - but it irks me sometimes if these same ppl are the ones making the most noise about how good they are, or how bad others are - no references to anyone here

I don't wish I could do it tho - I literally love my life sober, for all it's ups and downs.

I already know I'm an alcoholic and I already know weed can run (and ruin) my life - I've no reason to suspect any other drug will be any different.

D

sugErspun

Perhaps I was misunderstood.

I used to get upset at people claiming sobriety that I didn't think they had. When writing a 4th step - I looked deeper into this. What I saw was that during those times, in the back of my mind - I really hated being sober and wanted to be able to drink once in awhile - not use other drugs (I have not touched any other substances in over 14 years - no desire to do so).

I would appreciate if my response to didgeridoo could retain it's intended message. The problem isn't this other guy - the problem is getting upset about it. Now - the thing to do is look at why (and you will get there didge).


I gotta ask Dee - why the smiley after that comment about your post not being in reference to anyone here? Is it because it really IS about someone here (kind of like a wink-wink????)? Rather adolescent if that's the case.

digderidoo

I have been thinking about this over the last hour or so, perhaps i am being too harsh.

The guy has been clean for 2 years, so please do not think that he uses now. Perhaps my post could imply this but it is not the case.

He has done really well to stay sober for 3 years and clean for 2 years. I should look up to him as a winner. It's just recently he celebrated his 3rd birthday and i felt a bit duped over it, finding this out tonight.

I gues he looks at staying sober and staying clean as two different things, it works for him so who am i to question it. He is also being honest about mentioning drugs in the AA meeting, he may only mention these things in the NA which i do not attend.

It has made me question though if someone can claim sobriety whilst still using. But hey if that's how others work the program then perhaps i shouldn't question it.

Paul

tiburon88

As far as I'm concerned he's sober. As long as he doesn't pick up the booze he can claim sobriety.

CarolD

Hmm...
For me...No and Yes.

During surgery I was given a drug
I have a prescription for a non narcotic pain med
I take one when necessary.
No...I will not change my DOS.

Yes...if I abused them or smoked pot
Same if I drank ...including a "non alcoholic"
wine or beer. It's the motive as well
as the substance.
I would change my DOS.

The only DOS that interest me is my own.

lizw

Aren't you the chip guy? Who said in the last thread you used to open bottles while relapsing with your AA chip? Or was that you'd still collect chips for time spent 'being in AA' rather than 'time being sober?'

I can't remember????

Maybe the last thread wasn't about pot, may have been about chips/coins etc...

Boleo

If a person wants to lie about their sobriety date or refuse to recognize the fact that alternate drugs are a form of relapse they are just fulfilling the Big Book quote:

"After all, our problems were of our own making" (page 103).

Like the driver who speeds every day, they will get in trouble a certain percentage of the time.

fugfuggy

I have used over the counter Benedryl every night since I stopped drinking, 19 days now :P, does that count?

FightingIrish

I thought "clean" and "sober" were two totally separate things...no relation at all to one another. ;-)

bostonluv

That seemed unecessary to me................

Pinkcuda

AA has no opinion on outside issues. Is Drug Use an "Outside Issue"?
Is he "Powerless" over drugs as he is "Powerless" over Alcohol.
Is he even an "Alcoholic"? A lot of people in AA just seem to think they're Alcoholics but are really just drunks or people looking for an escape in any way shape or form.
My first thought is that the first thing that would lead me back to drinking and to lose any and all Spiritual Growth is drug use.
I would be willing to bet that if somebody is an Alcoholic and the use of drugs doesn't trigger the biggest relapse this side of the Pecos they probably aren't Alcoholic to begin with. Therefore any "Sobriety" Date is nullified in the first place.
I'd steer clear of this Turd. He's giving AA a black eye.
Be it known that I've never done drugs so my opinion is a little biased.

lizw

No harm meant. Honestly. Was just thinking out loud and trying to remember the other thread that asked about smoking pot sober and I wondered if I'd got the two threads confused....

nandm

I can not speak for anyone else but myself. I personally would change my sobriety date if I were to use any substance to escape from reality such as smoking pot, doing drugs (excuding those prescribed by a physician for a legitimate medical reason and used as prescribed), as well as drinking.

That said, in the few years I have been sober I have heard people talk about going back out and the top culprits they name are stopped going to meetings, started taking prescription drugs not as prescribed, started smoking dope, etc.....

I do think that there is a fine line to walk with a question like this as AA is Alcoholics Anonymous, not drugs anonymous. So technically one could claim abstinance from alcohol and not reset their sobriety date if they did not use alcohol. I personally believe that it is walking a slippery slope to do so as sobriety is much more than abstinence. IMHO sobriety means:
A return to sanity
Abstinence from addictive/abusive substances
A change in how I view the world (loss of selfish, selfcenterdness)
A spiritual awakening of some sort, even if it is as simple as realizing that there is more to the universe than just what we see in our own lives.
Honesty with self and others.
I am sure there is much more that I can not think of right now but this will have to do.

Ultimately it is about personal choice and what each individual feels is right and honest. I can not change anyone but I can change how I react to them. If I am having a problem with my feelings around someone not changing or changing their sobriety date then it is time for me to take a closer look at why that bothers me. It could be fear, selfishness, ego, etc.... creating the dilema in me. It is up to me though to find the problem and fix it within myself. I can only keep my side of the street clean.

bostonluv

Oh...then I'm sorry Liz. This is the second time I've misinterepreted your posts!!