TheMaster

Yes, I have done it. I did it, back in 2000 for 3 years. AA is just too cult-ish to me.

Now they have me leading prayers. I am far from religious...

My new plan is to just not do it. Unless I change my mind. No more group stuff.

The same people say the same things, week after week. I can't stand it, anymore.

Tazman53

When I was drinking I had a huge hole in me that for many years I was able to fill with alcohol, eventually the alcohol quit filling the void in me.

Once I knew in my heart that I had to quit drinking or die, I went into detox, when I came out of detox there was a hole inside of me, a HUGE hole, I was empty sober.... totally empty, I went to AA and through the fellowship and the steps I learned slowly how to fill that hole............ I filled it with LIFE!!!! My HP filled the hole with my family and the sober world around me, it took time and it is not full yet, but it is awesome, I am comfortable in my own skin, alcohol is no longer a solution for me, today I am able to LIVE life on lifes terms.

TheMaster

I think the biggest problem, for me, is I never really wanted to quit. I just knew it was in my best interest (diabetes - I eat like a horse when I drink).

I wasn't having any miserable drinking episodes or anything. I haven't alienated anyone or lost anything. Mainly because I just drank & played Xbox 360/Wii games. Haven't touched either, sober, ha ha.. It was just my way of unwinding, after the week.

I guess it pisses me off that everything I like is bad for me. It's not just booze. I have to also watch carbs, fats, etc.

It's a nightmare that I can't get out of. I'm not even in denial about it. I just have too many days where I don't care.

Tazman53

TheMaster quite a few years back a gentleman who lived behind me that drank every waking hours developed diabetes, the doctors told him he had to stop drinking due to his diabetes. A year later they amputated his right foot, he kept on drinking, 6 months later they amputated his left foot and his right leg up to his knee, he kept on drinking. I saw him sitting in a van in a grocery store parking lot so I went over to talk to him.

Well his wife was in the store buying him a couple of cases of beer, he had at that time both of his legs amputated off above his knees and was still drinking............ that was the last time I ever saw him, he was dead a year later.

Possibly you need to ask your self "Do I want to drink and die a piece at a time or do I want to live one day at a time?"

If you are the praying type maybe you should pray for the want/desire to quit drinking.

TheMaster

Yes, I think about that stuff, all the time.

Problem is, I don't think about it enough to eat right.

Tazman53

I wish I knew what to suggest, but I have not been where you are at. My issue was strictly me and my alcoholism. I reached the point where alcohol owned me, all the pleasure I had gotten for many years drinking had been gone for a long time, I came to the realization that if I did not stop I was going to die, that and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I guess in a way I can see where you are at, you (I assume, forgive me if I am wrong) are still at the point where you are still getting more pleasure then pain from drinking. If that was true for me, I am not sure if I could have quit and stayed quit.

I pray you do find something that makes you want to quit before you wind up losing a foot or something.

TheMaster

Well, to be honest, that guy didn't lose his foot from drinking, unless he drank 24/7.

Diabetes kicks you where it hurts from the high blood sugar. I have actually monitored my blood sugar while drinking. At the end of the night, it did spike to about 212. However, I am sure it was more from eating, than drinking.

Also, I wasn't doing it every night. The only ting I do every day is not eat right, which IS what will make you lose a limb.

THAT is what I need to get under control. I do try, but when those junk food cravings hit, I crack much faster than 2 months.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses for drinking, as I know health-wise, it's better to not do it, at all.

I'm just saying it's not the biggest danger, for me. The eating is, which increases when I drink.

I wish I had been raised in a region that wasn't so well known for bad foods (the south).

I grew up on burgers, fried chicken, country cooking (or soul food, if you like).

Changing all that is an astronomical task, that I just have never been able to do for more than a week or 2.