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My Mother In Law Passed Away Today

Old 09-03-2008, 09:39 PM
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My Mother In Law Passed Away Today

Well, a day that we have known was coming and thought we were prepared for came today. We weren't prepared. I don't think anybody truly is.

Nickie C. died this morning in her sleep at home as she wanted, sober and not on life support, of advanced COPD. She spend the weekend in ICU and was let out of the hospital yesterday and then was dead 24 hours later.

Today was surreal as neither my husband nor I has had to deal with making funeral arrangements at this close of a level. I have come close but still had my dad making the ultimate decisions. It was an ordeal that drove me to drink. But I digress.

After all arrangements were made my husband and I went to our home group, also her home group where the meeting was basically about her and the contributions she had made as far as reaching out to the newcomer. My MIL was the one who made sure to greet the newcomer and make them feel welcome, a tradition that my husband has taken on.

It was funny, as we were leaving the funeral home his sister couldn't wait to get to church and we couldn't wait to get to AA. They derived their strength from their church family and their God and we from our AA family and our God. On Friday the two shall mix at the funeral.

Please pray for my family,
Kellye C.
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Old 09-03-2008, 09:42 PM
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Big Hugs honey.
I am so happy she died in sobriety.
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Old 09-03-2008, 10:19 PM
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Thank you, I am too! As another mix of AA and Christianity she will be buried with her Bible and her AA chip.

Nickie held a special place in my sobriety that started long before she became my mother in law last year. When I first got to AA in 04, scared to death she reached out to me as she does all newcomers. She got my phone number and gave me hers and made sure she talked to me daily. When after 4 days I drank I called her the next morning devastated because I just knew I was going to be thrown out of AA for drinking and I knew AA was my last chance. She just laughed and told me they CAN'T throw me out and told me how to handle it. She even became my temporary sponsor until I found my first sponsor.

I will not lie, after I dropped my husband off and was headed to another member's home to pick up some pictures for tomorrow's service the idea of a drink briefly crossed my mind. But just as quickly it left. There is no way I am going to use any sober member's death as an excuse for me going back out. What a horrible disservice to their memory. There is nothing so horrible that a drink won't make worse. Anyway, it was one of those fleeting thoughts but very disquieting.

Tomorrow will be a long hard day and I am bone weary and in the beginning stages of a migraine but I cannot sleep. Fortunately my husband can sleep through anything and finally just fell asleep a few minutes ago. If nothing else I can lay here quietly and count my many blessings, one of which is to have a husband and in-laws in recovery.

I think the hardest thing today was when they brought her wedding rings out of the house and gave them to my father in law. I almost keeled over. They would have been married 45 years next February. Now that, you don't see these days. The fact that they were both alcoholics makes it even more of a miracle IMHO. I pray that their son and I will have an equally successful union.

Thanks for listening,
Kellye
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Old 09-03-2008, 10:44 PM
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:ghug3

Take it easy. She sounds like she was a great woman.
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Old 09-03-2008, 11:03 PM
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(((Kellye)))

Sending big hugs and prayers to you and your family. She sounds like an awesome lady, who died with dignity and grace.

I hope you and your husband take all the time you need to grieve. It's a long process, but very important.

Good for you for realizing that drinking isn't an option any more!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 09-03-2008, 11:08 PM
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Thank you Liz. I am trying to just let it go for the night and quit dwelling so I have a prayer of sleeping (assuming the head will quit pounding!)

Thank you Amy! She was special!

Good night (I hope!)
Kellye
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Old 09-04-2008, 03:27 AM
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(((Kellye))) I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts & prayers go out to you & your family.
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Old 09-04-2008, 03:36 AM
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My heart felt condolances Kelly, she was one heck of a lady from what you have shared. You know I bet she is greeting the new comers to the meeting in the sky right now!

You know Kelly in the BB it says:

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
Today your MIL knows serenity and peace in a way we can only imagine.
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Old 09-04-2008, 04:58 AM
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Taz, you just started the water works again!

Hugs,
Kellye
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Old 09-04-2008, 05:21 AM
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Kelly when my mom passed it was after 7 years of being on oxygen, it hurt like hell, but I know her and my dad were back together after 20 years, she was finally at peace and with the love of her life that I know was waiting for her as well as she knew he was waiting. I smiled as the tears flowed, I let her go knowing that she was happier then she had been in many years yet in the back of my heart selfishly wanting her here for me.

Hugs for all of you.
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Old 09-04-2008, 06:50 AM
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my condolances offered kelly,sorry you guys have to have this pain but if it means rest and peace for her,maybe its right.

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Old 09-04-2008, 06:56 AM
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I"m sorry for your loss. She sounds like a terrific woman.

Big hugs,

Karen
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Old 09-04-2008, 08:46 AM
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Kellye
I"m so sorry for your loss....
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Old 09-04-2008, 09:17 AM
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Kellye - Your mother in law sounded like an awsome woman that made a positive difference in so many lives. She is now at peace.
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Old 09-04-2008, 10:06 AM
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Kellye, of course I will keep your family in my prayers!

It sounds like your MIL touched a lot of lives. What a wonderful legacy she has left in her passing.
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Old 09-04-2008, 10:12 AM
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Kellye, you and yours are in my prayers. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman. What a blessing she was in your life! Carry on as she would have you carry on!
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Old 09-04-2008, 10:45 AM
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Hey Kellye, Sorry for your loss. Your MIL sounds like a great woman and you were blessed to have her. Take care. Jomey
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Old 09-04-2008, 10:47 AM
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Condolences to you and your family. You were surely blessed to have this woman in your life, as a mother-in-law and as a mentor. May your heart always carry her spirit.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 09-04-2008, 11:00 AM
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Prayers for comfort coming your way Kelley
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Old 09-05-2008, 05:44 AM
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