Fugfuggy detox thread...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Oh fug I feel for you. I detoxed at home and it was hell on earth for the first few days. Once I got past the worst of it I had to stay busy and keep my mind busy. My drinking was done in isolation so I sought to keep myself in the presence of others as much as possible and did things such as cooking for the family, going to movies, going to bookstores, and for me I went to meetings. I couldn't sleep and was terrified to even go in my bedroom for the first 3 weeks or so of sobriety. That was the sight of the majority of my drinking and I was convinced it had a "smell" in there that was a trigger. Oh yeah, I also smoked lots more cigarettes and drank a lot more coffee lol.
The whole point of that was to let you know that I, and others, have been where you are at and are willing to help you through. You don't have to drink even though your mind might scream for one. Stay in there as long as you can because it is a safe environment but know once you get out that support awaits you. I do hope you will seek out some face two face support either in the form of IOP, meetings, or both.
Big hugs,
Kellye
The whole point of that was to let you know that I, and others, have been where you are at and are willing to help you through. You don't have to drink even though your mind might scream for one. Stay in there as long as you can because it is a safe environment but know once you get out that support awaits you. I do hope you will seek out some face two face support either in the form of IOP, meetings, or both.
Big hugs,
Kellye
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
fugs remember me saying the actual detox I found easy? Well you are starting to find the same thing, now that you are basically physically free from alcohol the mental cravings, the obsession is starting to kick in.
For me the mental cravings, the obsession almost took me to the point of feeling insane!!!! I wanted to drink SOOOOOOoooooo bad the second I got out of detox even though I already knew that I had been diagnosed with a fatty liver which is the presursor to cirrorsis of the liver, so drinking again I knew would kill me physically in addition to destroying my life.
There I was, out of detox, ALONE, wanting a drink!!!! That was all I could think about, even though I knew I did not want to drink I NEEDED a drink! Well I did as they told me in detox, I went home and then straight to an AA meeting.
How I got to the meeting without stopping for a drink on the way I have no idea! I walked into that room and every person in there knew exactly what I was feeling, they had been there and they gave me hope because they had managed to stay sober!!!!!!
I was not ALONE in this battle!!!! These people gave me face to face support, they shared with me how they had stayed sober, the men gave me their phone numbers and told me to call them any time night or day before I drank again, I also got a temporary sponsor, who also said I could call him any time night or day.
I WAS NOT ALONE IN FIGHTING THE BEAST!!!!!!
Why fight this alone? Here is a monster who beat you so badly you had to get help from people to simply detox, don't you think it would be easier to have other people who have been where you are at and succeeded in staying sober help you.
Hey if AA is not for you, try other programs, they all will work if you work them.
For me the mental cravings, the obsession almost took me to the point of feeling insane!!!! I wanted to drink SOOOOOOoooooo bad the second I got out of detox even though I already knew that I had been diagnosed with a fatty liver which is the presursor to cirrorsis of the liver, so drinking again I knew would kill me physically in addition to destroying my life.
There I was, out of detox, ALONE, wanting a drink!!!! That was all I could think about, even though I knew I did not want to drink I NEEDED a drink! Well I did as they told me in detox, I went home and then straight to an AA meeting.
How I got to the meeting without stopping for a drink on the way I have no idea! I walked into that room and every person in there knew exactly what I was feeling, they had been there and they gave me hope because they had managed to stay sober!!!!!!
I was not ALONE in this battle!!!! These people gave me face to face support, they shared with me how they had stayed sober, the men gave me their phone numbers and told me to call them any time night or day before I drank again, I also got a temporary sponsor, who also said I could call him any time night or day.
I WAS NOT ALONE IN FIGHTING THE BEAST!!!!!!
Why fight this alone? Here is a monster who beat you so badly you had to get help from people to simply detox, don't you think it would be easier to have other people who have been where you are at and succeeded in staying sober help you.
Hey if AA is not for you, try other programs, they all will work if you work them.
Turning it all around
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 330
fogfuggy, you're doing great!
You are an inspiration to everyone that has yet to take the leap! You are well on your way to finding the real you. Congratulations! The sky's the limit! Hang in there! You're in good hands! Thanks for posting and keep up the good work! I am so very proud of you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
Day 5
Went to bed last night but could not sleep right away cause they were late in giving me my meds. No worries though cause college football season is right around the corner and there are lots of podcasts to listen to as I drift off.
Woke up bright and early at 6:00 feeling pretty good. Told the director at about 7 that I wanted to forgoe the drugs for the day and just take them at night to sleep. By 8:30 I changed my mind and ask to get "hit up" again just for this last day and not do anything the day before I leave. Why? As I said earlier, I now crave the meds as much as I do the alcohol. It puts me in the same state as if I have had that first double vodka. Anxiety goes away and I have a calmness about me.
I am watching the people that are not in detox but in the residential program go to group and come back beaming with light. In my mind I am thinking that I felt the same way my first go around many years ago. There is a euphoria that seems can only be experienced the first time you are exposed to AA. Like that first hit of crack you can never get that feeling back, all you can do is chase it.
However, I am becoming less averse to AA but, in combination with professional help that can help me work through the real issues instead of hearing the old terms that drive me nuts; "stinking thinking, old tapes, blah blah blah".
My thinking is that I will seek out more adult meetings with people that I can better relate to if nothing else to occupy my time.
Will update more later. Thank you for all of your support. I would like to say that I am now 5 days sober but I am not. I am just 5 days without alcohol, longest time in 15 years.
Went to bed last night but could not sleep right away cause they were late in giving me my meds. No worries though cause college football season is right around the corner and there are lots of podcasts to listen to as I drift off.
Woke up bright and early at 6:00 feeling pretty good. Told the director at about 7 that I wanted to forgoe the drugs for the day and just take them at night to sleep. By 8:30 I changed my mind and ask to get "hit up" again just for this last day and not do anything the day before I leave. Why? As I said earlier, I now crave the meds as much as I do the alcohol. It puts me in the same state as if I have had that first double vodka. Anxiety goes away and I have a calmness about me.
I am watching the people that are not in detox but in the residential program go to group and come back beaming with light. In my mind I am thinking that I felt the same way my first go around many years ago. There is a euphoria that seems can only be experienced the first time you are exposed to AA. Like that first hit of crack you can never get that feeling back, all you can do is chase it.
However, I am becoming less averse to AA but, in combination with professional help that can help me work through the real issues instead of hearing the old terms that drive me nuts; "stinking thinking, old tapes, blah blah blah".
My thinking is that I will seek out more adult meetings with people that I can better relate to if nothing else to occupy my time.
Will update more later. Thank you for all of your support. I would like to say that I am now 5 days sober but I am not. I am just 5 days without alcohol, longest time in 15 years.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I would like to say that I am now 5 days sober but I am not. I am just 5 days without alcohol, longest time in 15 years.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
I'm glad you're doing well. On the meds thing, I was the same way at first too, I was still getting "something" and several months in to my stay at my treatment center I asked to be taken off of my night meds because they reminded me of being drunk/drinking, the feelings.........I'm glad I did it.
ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!!
ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
Day 6,
Up at the crack of dawn feeling pretty good. The meds are minimal now with today being the last day with a mid day check out tomorrow. I can tell anybody suffering from any ism that detox can be fairly simple under medical supervision. My body feels healed now. No more violent shakes (even though I still find small motor skills like writing to be a challenge.) I was physically ill the first few days and could not hold down any food but I have probably eaten more the last two than anytime in the recent past. Chest pains are all but gone, eyeballs almost back to normal, and no more vomiting.
The real work begins when I leave this place. I still have the therapist in place but me thinks that will not be enough in the short term. I have a sleeping plan in place and that for me was the scariest part. But now I go back to loniliness and boredom and still needing to find a job. It is not an urgency at the moment but sure would be nice to be active again. In the immediate short term I need to keep my hands and my mind busy. Any suggestions?
Up at the crack of dawn feeling pretty good. The meds are minimal now with today being the last day with a mid day check out tomorrow. I can tell anybody suffering from any ism that detox can be fairly simple under medical supervision. My body feels healed now. No more violent shakes (even though I still find small motor skills like writing to be a challenge.) I was physically ill the first few days and could not hold down any food but I have probably eaten more the last two than anytime in the recent past. Chest pains are all but gone, eyeballs almost back to normal, and no more vomiting.
The real work begins when I leave this place. I still have the therapist in place but me thinks that will not be enough in the short term. I have a sleeping plan in place and that for me was the scariest part. But now I go back to loniliness and boredom and still needing to find a job. It is not an urgency at the moment but sure would be nice to be active again. In the immediate short term I need to keep my hands and my mind busy. Any suggestions?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Get busy and involved in your local AA.
Peer support is available regardless of your
past experiences with AA.
I also found a job by discussing
my need for one before and after meetings.
It was something new and required training
which I could learn because I was clear minded.
A win win situation all around.
Good Luck on your progress...
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Sleeping problems?
I think most in early sobriety have them.
Please copy this link...it might be useful
Insomnia? 41 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
I think most in early sobriety have them.
Please copy this link...it might be useful
Insomnia? 41 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
end of day 6 and I am looking forward to getting away from these people. Bunch of screaming kids that really have no clue. So many "oh my God", "dude", "hey fool", skanky young girls, freaky little boys with green and black nail polish, more tattoos than I have ever seen, the f-bomb is the primary form of communication.
However, I feel physically great but mentally anxious. Spoke with my young daughter today for the first time since she was born where I was not hungover and impatient. For the first time in a long time, I am looking forward to her being with me next week.
One more night of light meds then no more. There is this poor girl in here that is a crack addict and I will forever remember how she suffers every day and the fact that she said that she wanted to return to her abusive husband because he has an unlimited supply of crack. I have seen the worst of the worst when I spent time my first go around at a state funded, non medical detox house. People flopping on the floor and even people dying. I feel fortunate that I have what I have and hope to god that this sticks. My first plan is to visit my long time AA neighbor and let him know what I just went through and ask that he recommend some good meetings.
I am still AA averse and hearing all of the old cliche's this week made me want to puke. Maybe it was the people rather than the sayings and my hope is once I get in a much more mature environment of alcoholics, not heroin addicts, I will be more accepting.
So there you have it. I have taken you day by day through my medical detox. If the experience helps anybody then I am greatful and I thank all of you for your continued support. I will continue to post and participate with this group.
Best to all.
However, I feel physically great but mentally anxious. Spoke with my young daughter today for the first time since she was born where I was not hungover and impatient. For the first time in a long time, I am looking forward to her being with me next week.
One more night of light meds then no more. There is this poor girl in here that is a crack addict and I will forever remember how she suffers every day and the fact that she said that she wanted to return to her abusive husband because he has an unlimited supply of crack. I have seen the worst of the worst when I spent time my first go around at a state funded, non medical detox house. People flopping on the floor and even people dying. I feel fortunate that I have what I have and hope to god that this sticks. My first plan is to visit my long time AA neighbor and let him know what I just went through and ask that he recommend some good meetings.
I am still AA averse and hearing all of the old cliche's this week made me want to puke. Maybe it was the people rather than the sayings and my hope is once I get in a much more mature environment of alcoholics, not heroin addicts, I will be more accepting.
So there you have it. I have taken you day by day through my medical detox. If the experience helps anybody then I am greatful and I thank all of you for your continued support. I will continue to post and participate with this group.
Best to all.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
