BJC8902

A little about me

23 years old, Currently living with friends who are regular drinker. On average they drink 2x a week pretty hard(10+ drinks/night). My father was an alcoholic so obviously I'm very concerned and always asking myself mental questions. I usually go out with friends 1x a week and it almost always ends up with a hangover and periods of blackout. I used to go out more often, 2-3x a week but have cut back so I can enjoy the weekends more during the day. So far, is has not been a problem.

I dont drink during the week and there has been weekends I've been out of town and have not had more than 1-2 drinks. I felt fine but at the same time, I've read the dangers of how alcoholism slowly develops.

I guess my question is, what are the questions I should be asking myself? Also what is the tell-tale 100% sign that I have a developing problem.

tiburon88

A 100% sure way you know you have alcoholism is waking up and realizing your missing 2 full days of your life because of a blackout. Of course, it does not have to reach that point. IMO, however, you didn't reach this site by mistake. "Concern over ones drinking" is a sign of a alcohol problem. I would suggest read, read and read some more here at SR. Be honest with yourself and you will get an answer.

tib

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community

I think you are wise to seek some answers
early before drinking clouds your life.

Please click on this link...read all of the information

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

This link is about alcohol and your brain

Alcohol Chemistry and You


Glad you found us...

deezaldog

I found my old notes on alcohol evaluation. I is called the CAGE evaluation

Cut back-do you try to cut back on the amount of drinks in an effort to stop
Angry/annoyed when someone mentions your drinking habit may be increasing
Guilty-about your drinking, or what you have done while under the influence
Eye opener-do you need a drink in the morning to "bite the tail of the dog that bit you"

TorontoGuy28

Hi, thanks for your post.

Alcoholism, is a progressive disease. That's a fact.

When I went into AA 3 years ago, I was so sure that I would never (a) drive drunk (b) drink alone (c) hide my drinking.. I "wasn't" like the other people at the meeting. Guess what, last year I've done all these things.

Anyway, don't want to scare you, just tell you the truth as I see it.

nandm

Welcome to SR and our alcoholism forum!

I wish there was a 100% sure fire way to tell if one is addicted of has a drinking problem. But as every person is different every person has a different bottom (or place where they realize they have a problem).

One thing I have learned though is a normal drinker rarely has reason to wonder if they might be an alcoholic. The people I find that have asked that question usually wind up figuring out that they are alcoholic. I started asking myself that question at the age of 21, it took me until the age of 35 to realize that I was an alcoholic.

Tommyh

here are a couple of links with some questions you may want to ask your self





Does drinking cause you problems? Twenty Questions


Tell You Have a Drinking Problem?

Tazman53

You have gotten some great replies, I can attest to alcoholism being a progressive disease, it never gets better and always get worse the more one drinks. Here is another quiz to help you decide..... BTW I would add 1 to what ever quiz you take, coming here to check things out is a sign in my book.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You?

tommyk

Blackout drinking?

Beware of the alcoholism demon, it is slowly emerging.

justanothrdrunk

In my opinion, the #1 sign is when one seeks a health care professional with experience/scope in diagnosing alcoholism and one is diagnosed as such.

Other than that, the first warning sign is that you question yourself and your behaviors. "Normal" people (people without the disease) don't tend to have concerns over their alcohol use.

beingjenagain

I can understand you questions completely!! I come from a long line of alcoholics and always knew my risks were high. But that sure didn't stop me from being the party girl. I am now 39 and have alcoholically drank for over 20 years with big problems in the past 2. Thats when i finally threw in the towel. Imagine that I wasn't stronger than the drink!! If you have to ask if you are alcoholic you are. All of my past knowledge has certainly helped in my recovery and I hope it will in yours when you are ready. You may not be ready today or tomarrow but beware that the drink is always chasing you and one day will out run you as it did me!!

MyPaperAnchor

You sound like me about 10 years ago. I’m 35 now but I had similar friends with similar patterns. To answer your question, these are some questions you might take a look at:

Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You?

While I’m no doctor, in my opinion if there’s one tell-tale sign that someone is or could be an alcoholic, it would be blackouts. Normal people generally don’t drink to blackout.

I think at about age 28/29 I began wondering if I was an alcoholic. I was, but it took a few more years of “research” to find out for sure. All I can say is I wish I would have realized it sooner.

lizw

Welcome to SR.

Blackouts are not a good sign.
For me, I believe blackouts were/are a sign I am an alcoholic.

I've yet to meet another AA yet, who didn't think a sign of a 'good night out' was one you couldn't remember. Normal drinkers drink to be social - not get so wasted they don't remember anything.

I got sober when I was 20 so I can understand that your friends are all doing it too. The difference between me and my friends was, I was always blind drunk, last one who wanted to go home, under went a drastic personality change while drunk (went from shy to larger than life or a smurf to the incredible hulk), was spending all my money on booze and drugs, and couldn't hold a job. Plus most of my friends thought I was crazy.

Hope you found some of the links to questionares helpful.

BJC8902

Thanks for all the input, it really is opening my eyes. I thought about it some more, and had some other things to add.

Sometimes during TV ads for beer or hard A, or scenes in a movie, I can feel my heart and pulse increase slightly. As well as my mouth salivate a bit more than normal for a brief moment. The feeling to drink is not strong during these moments and it dosent cause me to change what I was doing, watching tv, etc. However, I'm definitely alarmed at this occurance.

In more detail about my drinking habits. To break it down, I'd say I 100% blackout almost never. I always remember the whole night, there is just a few periods in between that are vague. I would say this is the worst "blackout" I get. I can count once or twice when I was much younger (20yrs old ish) and did not when to stop and ended up throwing up, etc etc which resulted in a 100% blackout.

When I do drink, i don't find it difficult to stop after 1. For example at dinner, happy hour, etc.

I haven't been in trouble, missed work, and I skip happy hours during the work week so I can get good sleep + staying out late, etc.

Thoughts?

Astro

Well, those are what we call "yets".

I drank for 27 years, I was high-functioning, for 25 of those years I really didn't have any negative consequences for my drinking. I never had a DUI, went to jail, killed anyone. Not yet anyway, but those things were starting to happen the last two years I drank. I was starting to hurt my children (physically) and I'd lie and say they were just accidents, I was abusing my spouse, etc.

I really don't believe normal drinkers have blackouts. Hangovers yes, but they don't drink to the point of blacking out. Another thing I was told in early sobriety: Normal drinkers don't contemplate whether they're alcoholics or not. The thought just doesn't occur to them.

BJC8902

I agree with the last statement you made "the thought dosent occur to them", however with my background(father) and my worry some self. I'm naturally going to worry about it. If I had come from a "normal" family with no previous history of alcholism, i wouldnt even think twice about my drinking. I drink less than my roomates(who drink very heavy) and the thought wouldnt cross my mind. In the same sense, I'm glad I have the history I do and I'm on this forum educating myself if in fact I do have a problem that it slowly emerging.

beingjenagain

Not everyone who drinks is alcoholic. But we can't know we are alcoholic until it is too late (or almost too late) It would be great if we knew everything and could fix our lives accordingly, sorry but not the case.

Just keep your mind open and remember all the little signs and happenings. Like i said before even with all I knew all I had been told and all I saw I ended up exactally the way I said I never would!

I remember what my mom told me many years ago "you may be an alcoholic but you probably aren't done yet" well I was dry about 3 months and then went on to drink for the next 6 years. I was mad at her at the time but I can see now how right she was!!

I had to finish my story and you must finish yours. I hope and will pray that you aren't an alcoholic! but if you are I am glad you have started to find the tools that will help you.

Pinkcuda

From the Big Book Pg. 24
In Italics,
"The fact is that most Alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost their power of choice in drink, Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistant We are unable,at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink"

That about sums it up for me. That is one thing that is unique to alcoholics. Keep in mind that this happens to almost everyone at one point whether they are Alcoholic or not. Alcoholics just repeat this process time and time again.
All quotes are from the Big Book, first edition.

bostonluv

My brother and sister-in-law aren't alcoholics. But because of our family history of alcoholism they were concerned about it and decided to skip the YETS. They just quit after a couple years. Very smart. My point is, even if you aren't an alcoholic and are concerned, why risk it? No judgement here, believe me.

Tazman53

BJC although I drank a lot for a lot of years, my alcoholism did not really start to kick in bad for me until I was 42, the quiz I suggested you take I would have answered yes to 4 of them in my late teens/early 20s, by the time I quit at age 52 I scored 12 out of 12.

This in not to brag, it is to attest to the progressiveness of the disease. Mine progressed slowly, for some folks the progression is VERY Rapid, the progression of the disease is different for every alcoholic.