debs4321

You know, when I came to AA, I just knew I didnt have alcoholism. I came in for drugs. I came in because I had heard that The 12 Steps would solve my addictions.

When I sat down with someone in the program and they qualified me, I found out that I do have alcoholism. Alcohol lead me to drugs, every time.

I drank to the black out point ever time.
I woke up promising myself, never to do it again. Only to find myself drunk again the next or even same night.
I tried controlled drinking............didnt work.
I changed my types of drinking........beer verses mixed drinks..........didnt work.

These were all the things that I had to really look at, but with help from and outside source. One who has the same experience as me.

One alcoholic helping another.

Find someone who is in the program and have them sit down and work with you on this. They may be able to give you some clarity.

Good luck.

BJC8902

Taz, I took your quiz twice and both times I tried to answer the questions honestly as possible. I answered 1 Yes for the black outs question. I'm going to take that quiz often and see if things change. Hopefully the only change is zero YES questions...

psyk0

I can quite honestly say I never needed a "test"

I knew.

For years and years and years I knew.

I didn't WANT to know, because the alternative of having to quit drinking frightened me to death.
But I knew, nevertheless.
So I tried solving other "problems" in my life instead. Which ofcourse all came from the one source of my problems (alcohol) so I didn't solve anything really.
I even started to accept my alcoholic way of life, rationalising it. "oh I'm not an alcoholic, I just drink a lot so I can socialize better, so I can relax better, so I can sleep better, so I can think clearer, etc etc etc"

And in the end it was: I need six cans of beer before I get up to stop me from shaking and to stop the nightmarish thoughts in my head and to even be able to walk to the shower in the morning....

It was hell.

If you think you have a problem, please do something about it now.

Tazman53

psyko I was like you, I found that test after I got sober.

bjc glad to hear you are going to keep an eye on things, except for teenagers getting blasted for the first time the only people I have ever heard of experienceing blck outs have been alcoholics, not saying you are, but something to keep in mind, that and the fact you are here.

least

For Taz it took him ten years to crumble. I was a raging alcoholic after six months. I saw it coming but did and said nothing, not even to myself. Finally last December I realized that all my Yets were getting closer and that I had to stop. I told a few family members and they were supportive, tho rather condescending. I am finally, FINALLY, sober 32 days! Tomorrow I will break my first and only record for staying sober. It took me since last December to finally get it right - and I'm still very new at sobriety so don't dare get cocky.

I think for me the thought that I was questioning myself/my drinking meant something was wrong, else I wouldn't have cared so much. I had so many tries and failures and got very depressed often thinking I just couldn't do it. I don't know what's different about 'now' other than I just feel different. Maybe it's because after making myself so damn sick so many times I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink.

I"m trying not to get too self assured tho cause I could easily fall if I let myself fall. So I just have to not let myself fall. It's also said that you have to want to do it "for you" and not for anyone else, tho that's not entirely true for me. I'm partly doing it to be a better DogMom to my two dogs. Both have special needs and require me to be alert and aware of how they're behaving and feeling. Can't do that near as well if I'm drunk or hungover or in horrible withdrawals, now can I? And to repay their utter devotion with carelessness is something I don't want to do.... anymore. I'm ashamed enough of the times I fed them late or gave the one his insulin late. Not a good Mom.

So whatever your reason for getting and staying sober, do it as if your life depended on it, cause it does. Also all the lives you interact with.

This is a great place for support and advice. Good friends across the world helping themselves and each other. Now that's family!

:ghug

CarolD

How odd....I was minding my own business....working...saving money
enjoying dating and friends....drinking merrily along...
Zap! Zip! Boom! :burns
I never knew which drink on what day slid me into alcoholism.

Tthat was a favorite toast in my circle.
Until we started dying
Unchecked alcoholism kills.
It's progressive...chronic....fatal. No exceptions.

Think I'll stay in recovery ....

source of quote:
Book title by Willard Moteley