meadow04

Yesterday I got really discouraged from this other forum that I also post at, I felt judged and criticized since I am not yet sober. I am trying but I keep drinking. So, what did I do, drank vodka, felt sorry for myself and sadly after quitting smoking for a weak, I ended up smoking. My husband got really scared for me because I said I don't know what my life is worth anymore. He said that I have to quit drinking. I was already hiding my daytime drinking from him, we drink together at night. Now that he thinks I have a problem, no let me rephrase that, now that he knows that I have a problem I am hiding it even more.
I know I need to stop but now with the hiding I am probably drinking more because I have to do a quick shot or 2 rather than relaxing with a mixed drink.
Any thoughts? I am feeling really down, embarassed, sick & tired of being sick & tired.
Why can't I JUST QUIT???? Thanks for listening.

Sugah

Have you considered inpatient rehab?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

meadow04

I am a stay at home Mom, when I drink during the day I don't get drunk, but for some reason even just a beer or a drink helps me through the day until my husband gets home.

Stango

Hi meadow, That's a tough situation that i myself have been in a couple of times and was currently in up untill 5 days ago when i got so drunk i almost lost everything and everyone i love . It has been a very hard 4 days emotionally and physically(wanting alcohol)!! I made the desicion to quit because things are far from what i want them to be right now ,and i'm tired of sneaking around and acting like all is ok when it's not.Which is why i sit on this site 5 hours a day reading . I found for myself that this took almost losing everything to happen instead of stopping before that !! Now i have to start all over with trust issues. I'm not sure if that was what you ment , but i hope all is ok with you and your not to down on yourself !! Just wanted to let you know your not the only one sneaking sips.

Justin

Anna

Hi Meadow,

I also hid, or tried to hide, my drinking from my husband. It didn't work very well and it felt absolutely miserable.

I know you can get through the day without drinking. Have you tried to connect with other moms in your neighborhood in order to get together and support each other during the day? There might be some programs for you and the kids at the local library. I think getting out and doing something would be a help.

CarolD

What has your doctor suggested?

You may need to have a medically supervised de tox
before quitting abruptly. You may not need inpatient.
Only way to know is....
go see what the doctor thinks
but you must be completely honest with him about your drinking.

Blessings to you and your family

bostonluv

Yesterday I got really discouraged from this other forum that I also post at, I felt judged and criticized since I am not yet sober.

I was still drinking when I found this site a year ago and I kept messing up and posting my shame. Someone said to me, "We don't shoot our wounded around here." I loved that and wanted to share that with you tonight. Feeling judged. Feeling like a looser is not something that is going to help you out of the situation you're in. Keep posting. Keep trying Meadow.

-Kathleen

CantWait11

I think you need to come completely clean with your husband because youre gonna need his full support during quitting, detox, and withdrawal.

I was originally gonna detox secretly but i now know thats not possible. I couldnt keep up telling my family (that i live with) that it was a bad flu or something. It was a lonely glass bubble of pain and no support. I finally had to fess up and woke up my mom at 2am crying and admitting to her why im so sick. then my dad the next day which he was not happy about. no one knew that i was drinking so much every night.

But once the shock and anger subsided, it was all support. hearing how proud they were of me for coming clean and trying to kick the habit helped me through SO MUCH. having hugs, praise, a hand to hold, someone to get you more water, try and make you soup, and having my mom even lend me money so i could go to the doctor (no insurance) and drive me there was amazing. (PS. DONT DETOX WITHOUT SEEING YOUR DOCTOR. MINE YELLED AT ME FOR NOT COMING SOONER- serious health risks)- and the meds the doc gave me helped and I only had to use them a few times!

but you cant do it alone. maybe i could have done it without having my parents ever know.. but it would have been harder, and i feel better about it this way.. and now they know to look out for me and keep me in check.

tell your husband, tell your doctor, you need the support. and the support of this forum! CarolD and GertieGrl helped get me through so much! Im coming onto day 6 sober and I feel physically wonderful! I get a bit scared of the thought of drinking, and lonely and bored, but tomorrow im gonna start going to the gym and working again!

I know you can do it!!! <3
BJ

mxchaos

you can do it just take it a moment at a time. when you feel a craving hold ice cubes in your hands then rub them on your face and neck. it creates a physical change in your brain and helps with getting through the moment. keep trying

zoomer

I was a stay at home mom for years. I did not drink during the day,but drank at night. My daughter hurt herself and I could not go to the hospital with my husband because I had been drinking and I did not want the hospital staff to smell the drink,so I stayed home with the other kids. Now days you can get into a lot of trouble drinking around kids. As stated above, go to your doctor and tell them how much you have been drinking or call the AA hot line if you want to stop drinking. It's been 4 years now that I last had a drink and now I can be the mother I always wanted to be. I did not think I was hurting anyone because i only drank at night,but accidents happen and you need to be on your toes at all times when you have kids.

faith08

cos we's special -- special people gotta take special care of themselves
in that i mean special good care of ourselves
everyone has their vice(s) ours just happens to be alcohol

thanks for writing that boston--that's exactly how i feel
meadow, fall down seven times get up eight or a thousand. as long as you are still getting up, you are still in the fight and that counts
knocking down other people's feelings or efforts is a job for the weak, the insecure, the ones who have to stand on other's heads to feel good about themselves.

you've come to a great place for support -- the people here are great
keep coming here and reading and posting and reading and reading. you aren't alone by far.
faith

dancinggirl

To be honest with you, the only times in my life that I have thought to myself, "it's just not worth living" or "i wouldn't, but I can see WHY people kill themselves"...have all been because of alcohol. Either being drunk at the time, or miserable the next day and hung-over. I have NEVER felt as bad as I have while drinking...since stopping. The recoveries from life's jokes thrown at us are sooo much quicker while sober! What used to turn my day sour and last for hours is manageable now after only a few minutes.

You can do this!

Tazman53

Who ever said "We do not shoot our wounded." Is right on!!! Oh do not get me wrong, there are those who have not walked the path we walk that may want to shoot us, but they do not speak from experience, these are the same folks who say things like "Why don't you just stop!"

The truth will set you free!

The first thing I did when I realized I could not stop drinking no matter how much self will I threw at it was to see a doctor. I was totally honest for the first time ever in regards to how much I was drinking, how long I had drank, and what was happening to me when I drank.

This honesty with my doctor may have saved my life, he told me I needed to be medically detoxed, I could have died trying to quit cold turkey on my own. This is not to say you will need to be medically detoxed, you may not, but why not be honest with your doctor and find out. You may be able to detox at home with the help of some meds your doctor can prescribe to you.

Every one is different, but seeing and being honest with your doctor is a good safe beginning.

Listen to your doctor, you say you are a stay at home mom, well if the doctor says you need inpatient I would suggest being honest with your husband or other family members, I bet someone could take over the kids while you are inpatient.

Where there is a will, there is a way.

Just keep in mind you are not alone in this, we have walked in your shoes before, we have been there and done that, sobriety is found through honesty, first with your self and then with others.

Keep trying, if one thing does not work, try something else, keep trying.

TheMaster

You need to talk to someone you trust and just do it.

It sucks, at 1st, but that goes away. I am only 47 days sober, but I almost feel free. Sure, I think about it, every now & then & remember how fun it was, but I haven't cracked, yet.

I'm not saying I won't, but I am trying not to. Most days, it never enters my mind. Even when other people talk about drinking & stuff, I don't really think about my drinking. I just listen to their drunk story, laugh, and move on.

Nothing in life comes easy. You have to work hard for the things that matter.

This is a prime example.