meadow04

I feel like I am completely alone in this battle because I know I need to stop drinking but yet I am still drinking. I am so jealous when I read 3 months sober or even 1 week sober. For some reason I can't find the strength to just not drink. Is there anyone on this site that is still struggling and still drinking? I am so happy for everyone that has found the strength, don't get me wrong, I was just wondering if I was the only weakling? I would love to chat with anyone.

CarolD

Welcome...

I did finally quit drinking when I read
"Under The Influence"
Here are excerpts

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

To stay quit...and enjoy my new healthy life
I use God and AA. Works great for me.

Glad you are here with us..

Astro

Alone? This is from the Big Book of AA:
First Edition

"Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."

Don't get me wrong, I felt lonely in AA for a long time, but I kept going to meetings and hearing people share stories that were exactly like mine, so I knew I was never truly alone. The day came when I put my hand out for help, and there were hundreds of hands that grabbed mine and loved me until I could love myself.

I've heard similar stories shared many times. There's hope and help available but you need to reach out for it. It's not a weakness to ask for help and support, that takes courage and strength.

beingjenagain

Meadow I knew for about a year that I needed to stop drinking. I have a strong family history and my emotions were just spinning out of control. For about 6 months every single day I woke up I said that i wouldn't drink that day. Well it never worked. The only days I was able to not drink was when I was away from home and unable to sneak. Luckily for me that was very rarely!! Finally and simply by the grace of God or someone I stopped. I haven't looked back and I feel stronger everyday.

What was my bottom?? I just don't know but I know for today I am sober and happy.

Keep reading on this site. Check out some biography books from the library about addiction and alcohol. Glass castle by Jeanette Walls, Drinking A Love Story by Caroline Knapp, A Million Little Pieces by james Frey or Terry by George mcGovern. I have found that I just can't read enough about everyone elses struggles and how they relate to me.

You can do it!!!

winwin

Check out the chronic thread on newcomers to recovery also. There are a lot of people on there who have relapses but continue to try. The first step is to admit you have a problem and commit to trying to do something about it. The decision to quit has to made in your heart and mind. You say that you don't have the strength. Have you tried?

JPat

hey meadow - there is a thread for chronically less than 2 weeks sober - I read that alot. Right now I am on Day 2 for the kajillionth time, so i know what you are going through. this site is wonderful for support and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
alcohol is pretty much a daily struggle for me and it occupies waaaaay to much of my mind. i hope that this time i can change that - i would love to just get through a day without thinking about my next drink.
hang in there, you are in the right place

Mala09

The turning point for me came when I realised I could not do it alone. I had been trying to get sober in splendid isolation and the side of me that wanted to go on drinking was stronger than the part of me that wanted to stop. I needed help and evenatually got up the courage to ask for it.

Good luck!

Mala

kj3880

Me too, Mala. I really wanted to get clean, and I tried on my own for months, every day. Coutless vain attempts. I finally got it when I kept going to meetings and let some people help me. I couldn't do it alone. I needed to go to a doctor (an addictionologist), get into outpatient treatment, and get really involved in NA. Like every day for the first month. As much as I could anyway. I couldn't go every day, but I went most days. I went to lots of meetings until I found a group of folks that I could call my "homegroup." A group of winners that had over a year. I started to go to all the circuit of meetings this group attended. Then I started going out with them after meetings. I started calling them all the time, if I felt weak especially. It worked after about a month I got it. I'm getting better all the time. You can do it if I can.
KJ

Blake'sTyger

You're not alone. I did put together sixty days last time through, but since falling off it's been tougher than ever. I'm finally starting to pull together days again, but every night is a struggle. I've heard people say just put together one day. If not, try one hour. Then two hours. Then three. and so on, until you have a day.

I'll admit to having been on this site once drunk. But I saw it as a reminder of what I SHOULD be doing. What I CAN do (see hour by hour, or evening by evening above). The next time I was close to drinking (well, after several other drunken nights) I read on here BEFORE heading out the door. So far, it's helped me to stick around

lostgirl32

well i'm new here...but i totally get how you feel. i too feel alone and weak...everything is an excuse to drink and i have 3 kids to raise and i'm terrified i'm getting sick from drinking so much..i drink atleast 3 to 4 times a week. ive got to stop and want to but just do not know how...any suggestions?

meadow04

I wish I had an answer for you. I read these postings and think that I am the weakest of everyone. I am here for you, maybe we can find the answer together. PM me anytime, I also find the chat rooms helpful. Helps to talk!
Meadow

353

Welcome to the SR forums meadow and lostgirl,


I don't know how to stay sober either but I've been able to for awhile now. I needed people to teach me how to do this thing, sober people, people like me who've been through what I've been through.

Non-alcoholic/addicted people may mean well but when I try to talk to them about what I'm going through they look at me like I'm from Mars.

This forum is a great place to talk to folks who see the world like you do and it takes time and work to find sobriety, BUT IT'S DO-ABLE.

Sober alcoholics/addicts find sobriety in many different ways; my path has been AA. When I gave up trying to find the answer myself I went and found the help I needed, you can too!

Peace to you

CD-RUN

I've read post on this forum, beer in hand, knowing I had a drinking problem many months before I found the strenght to do something about it. As of today I have 27 days sober.

I've been posting here off and on since Janurary, and in that time I've seen so many people come and go. People stop in, make a handful of post and dissapper. I'm assuming not everyone of them goes back to the bottle but I'd venture to say a fair number do.

If quitting were so easy this place wouldn't exist. I keep coming back to draw on the strenght and support of this community. Stick around and maybe you'll find something that works for you.

sailorjohn

Don't know if this will help or not, but I've never viewed my sobriety as an indicator of my strength or weakness. Depending on your spiritual bent, you can call me either lucky or blessed. Now I'm talking about the initial decision to stop, in my mind that's about all of the battle. Maintaining my sobriety one day at a time, or one moment at a time, is relatively easy.

Zencat

I think it takes time to find your strength. It did for me. I could get a few days clean and then use again. Eventually, I would practice the tools I was given me in recovery and was able able to put more clean time between use. Keep working at it, find supportive others and stick with them. It has gotten much better for me and I believe it can for you.

tsukiko

Welcome to y'both, Meadow and LostGirl too.

Y'know the fact you want to quit means you're not 'weak' and nothing more...admitting to y'self you've a problem and want to sort it is hard enough, but admitting to others too...give y'self some credit, woman!

I've been clean off heroin since the end of may now, but I've only stayed clean cause I've been away, and even then I've been on and off the drink, coke and speed since. But I can either think I'm a failure for that or accept I'm a mess yeah, but I'm doing better than a few months back cause I ain't pinning gear every day and that dramatically improves my survival chances...which means I may have longer to sort all my other problems out, heh.

Wanting to quit, wanting to change destructive ways is the core thing anyone needs to y'know start down a positive road...and you've got that. Be proud and keep plodding down that road, however slow. Progress and achievement arn't something which happen over night.

tsukiko

p.s
...I ain't an envious person, but everytime I hear someone say 'a year sober' I'm in damn awe of them and always think 'if I could swap places'...but even if I could it wouldn't teach me what I need 'cause it wouldn't be my achievement. My achievement at present is 'clean since may 30th' and some people would probably be envious of that...just like if someone read your post saying how you want to be sober there's prolly' a fair few people envious of your courage to think and to say that.

I used to listen to mates saying 'I want to be clean' and I'd watch them try and relapse and all the same keep trying and I wouldn't say a thing because I was too scared to say 'I want to get clean too' because I knew admitting that would be the start of a new direction, even if it took me my whole life to take one step in it...and I was terrified of that for a long time. Its a damn brave thing to do.

Sugah

I know you don't want to feel alone, meadow - but commiserating with another person who's still drinking probably won't help you get sober. It might reinforce some of the excuses to not stop drinking, but, personally, I never found anyone still drinking and using who could help me get and stay sober. I had to look to others who had a little time under their belts. It's humbling, but it was necessary that I humbled myself. Until I did, I thought I could control the uncontrollable - my alcoholism.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

CarolD

lostgirl32....Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum

Tazman53

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

I spent 5 years trying to quit on my own, the only thing that led this alcoholic to was a loniliness that only an alcoholic or addict can know. I became physically, mentally, and spiritually addicted to alcohol. I spent the last 5 years of my drinking in my garage by myself, I went to work, I drank on the drive home, grabbed enough beer to get me through the night and the next morning and went home to drink alone in my garage.

I hated myself, I was weak and pitiful, I did not want to drink, but I had to drink, so I did it alone, every day..... alone and drinking.

When I reached the point where I saw death in my future I finally picked up the phone. I called a doctor and asked for help!

The doctor put me into medical detox.

In detox I was finally aware that I was not alone!!! There were others just like me!

In detox they taught me that isolation was the worst thing I could do!

In detox they told me if I wanted a chance to stay sober and break the isolation I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor!

Well I went to AA, I found that not only was I not alone, but there was a solution and all I had to do was ask other alcoholics who had found sobriety for help and they helped me!

I will have 2 years sober in Sept., today I still get help and support in AA, but I also share my experience, strength and hope with other alcoholics and help other get and stay sober while they help me stay sober.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

Put out your hand and ask for help, if AA is not for you, try other programs until you find one that works for you, but always remember:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!