beingjenagain

I am almost 4 months sober and have not shared this info with anyone I work with. I am a nurse and work with between 10-14 others a day. I was a really clever alcoholic and don't think anyone at work knows the extend of my addiction. it was no secret that I liked to 'party' but the 3am - 3pm beer drinker was my own secret. So with that said......I really think one of my coworkers has an alcohol problem. She was one of my closest coworkers at one time but over the past 2-3 years we have drifted apart. I have clear new eyes now and can see so much more that I did when i was actively drinking and spending lots of time and energy hiding my addiction. So do I confront her? Say anything to her? I know that no one is ready till they are ready but....

Tazman53

If this coworker is a nurse and you can tell she is drunk on the job at a minimum it may be wise to take her aside and mention to her that if you can tell she is drinking on the job that others can as well and maybe she should be a bit more careful about coming to work under the influence.

If she is a nurse and tanked on the job she may be endangering patients.

If you decide to talk to her, try not to be confrontational or judgemental.

Now if she is endangering patients, you may want to consider if you would want her taking care of someone you love and take it from there.

CarolD

As I never made a secret of my drinking or my recovery
I have no experience to share on this.

If you do choose to discuss your recovery
be prepared to have all your co workers know.

You could mail her some AA pamplets
and not put a return address.

Just thinking aloud

laurie6781

First, I would suggest you check your motives.

Then, remember back to when you were in the throes of practicing your alcoholism and how you would have reacted if someone confronted you.

I know for a fact when I was confronted, I stayed in denial, justified and rationalized my drinking and then stayed away from the person who confronted me.

However, if it is affecting her job performance and putting patients in danger, then YES by all means talk with the coworker first before taking it higher up.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

TTOSBT

All very good advice. I agree with Laurie, it is important to check your motives. If you are doing it to save her and not because she is endangering others, I would say, talk to your sponsor. This is a program of attraction rather than promotion. Now that I am sober I can see many people who would benefit from sobriety and a recovery program. But that is not my business. It is my business to be the best example of a recovering alcoholic that I can be. I also can offer help if it is asked for.

Now, if she is endangering others...you can take her aside and offer your experience, strength & hope if you are willing.

kj3880

I know we can't help anyone who isn't ready. I leave the door open if someone would want to talk about it, but I don't tell about my situation at work, so I wouldn't be able to tell someone about NA. By all means, if she is going to kill someone, do something, even if you have to do it anonymously. But if you tell on her out in the open be prepared to back it up or have it blow up in your face. Good luck. It's a tough problem.
KJ

Jfanagle

A couple of years after I got sober I was asked by the CEO of a sister company who knew about my sobriety and certainly about my drinking, as that was not a big secret in the industry, to "have a talk" with one of their valued key people who was drinking on the job. I knew this fellow quite well and so it wasn't a “cold call” so to speak.

After some real deliberation I decided to "open the door" to this person by simply mentioning to him that "you might want to change your mouthwash as it smells like cheap vodka." He mumbled a "thanks" and several days later gave me a call, and asked if we could have lunch. He WAS ready and just that slight crack in the doorway allowed him to talk with me about it. Last I heard he was still struggling, but I offered and then backed off. At the very best, IMO, that is all we should do. If as was previously mentioned the drinking endangers someone’s safety or well being then that is a legal matter and must be dealt with.

Just my experience, but as has been said, we are ready when WE are ready and not a second before.

Best of luck,

Jon

Raineydae

I was a ward based nurse and for years I worked with others who joined in and enabled me. It may be fair to say that we enabled each other but I cannot really judge anyone else but myself as an alcoholic of course.
In any case, I feel that I was lucky never to be challenged and therefore I did not lose my job. For that I am thankful as an act of providence eventually released me from my drinking prison, although I am aware that my addictive/alcoholic behaviour may well have put the safety of others at risk. I am not proud of that but I am not doing that today and I have a second chance.
I'm certain that I would have reacted angrily to any challenge but who can say whether I would have quit sooner or drunk even more as a result and made things worse?
Looking back, the best thing for others to have done would have been to stop enabling me: Not doing my drug rounds for me, not encouraging me to take things to make my hangover symptoms better from the store cupboard, challenging me over all my sick time. That kind of thing may have brought me to my senses sooner.

MyPaperAnchor

I think the nature of your work necessitates you confront her. If nothing changes, you need to go to HR. Wrecking your own life is one thing, but endangering patients due to being drunk or barely functional is something else entirely.

beingjenagain

Thank you for all of your ideas and suggestions. I think I will just call her this week to "chat" since we are friends. I will just see if any info comes up. At this point I don't think that she really is a risk to her patients but I sure do know the slippery slope. I will just keep my eyes and ears and mind open and be ready for her if she needs me.