thrownasunder

I went to aa meeting today, and was pleasantly suprised. I got so much out of what everyone said. There was another newcomer like myself and she related her story about how she was on a dry drunk and her father died of alcoholism and how hard it was on her to be living her life with such unmanagebility even though she hadnt had a drink in 17 years. Also how her daughter was in treatment.

It made me see how much I can save my daughter from if I can stop now. There was another girl whos father died and shes having a very hard time dealing with it. Part of the reason I went to the meeting was because my father also died and it started to make me realize I was turning out just like him.

The meeting was also on step 1....which is where I am at, I can admit I am powerless over alchohol cause my own track record keeps pointing out the obvious, and if my very own daughter isnt incentive enough to keep me sober then I can start to admit I have a problem.

I crave a drink every single day, minus an odd one here or there, I have put myself and my daughter in very dangerous situations, and I cant keep living this way, something bad could easily happen if I do, yet I cannot stop and try method after method to control my drinking, and one of those methods is to drink alone.

I cant deny the reality of this anymore, but alchol keeps me deny-ing it so I can fix that craving.

At the meeting it was also said that the drink was just a symptom of the underlying problem.

One person said that once the spiritual malady is adjusted then everything else falls into place in recovery and that really really struck me.

I am wrighting this here cause I dont want to forget everything that was told to me because alot of it just made sense.

I may not have hit a terrible bottom, but it is bad enough for me to know to get out now before I lose all, and that is if I can, I cant even see myself staying sober, but I guess thats why they say its a day at a time, and I will go to as many meetings as possible, mabye once a day. I need to be able to do that, and now, before I really really lose it.

CarolD

Good to know you are making solid plans
for a healthy sober future.

It is wise to consult with your doctor before abruptly quitting.
...As you might know...de toxing from alcohol is really
unpleasant and can be dangerous.
Be both safe and sober

Keep posting...we do understand
Blessings to you and your daughter

bostonluv

I am so glad that you had a good experience at your AA meeting. Isn't it nice to be around people you can relate to? I started really heavily drinking after my father passed away also. Losing a parent is very difficult. I'll look forward to reading your future posts.

lizw

Great to read your post and I am glad the meeting made sense to you. Sounds like you got the 'right place, right time' thing happening for you which is fab too.

tommyk

"At the meeting it was also said that the drink was just a symptom of the underlying problem."

This is/was true with me.

I learned a lot about that at meetings.

22NGONE

Thrownasunder,

I love your screen name! You have displayed a great deal of wisdom and self awareness in this post. You can and WILL be a great recovered Alcoholic. We all have different bottoms, the only thing that matters is when are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?

You have taken a brave and great step, just keep coming back! Remember it is not the 10th drink that get you drunk, or the fifth or sixth... it's the first drink! Don't take that first drink, get a sponsor and go to 90 meetings in 90 days and you will be well on your way to Recovery for yourself AND your children. GOD BLESS YOU.

John

Tazman53

Everyones bottom is unique, in AA you will hear it all, low bottoms and high bottoms, we all have one thing in common, a solution we have found to our alcoholism. It sounds like you are off to a good beginning. Be honest and willing, go to at least 90 meetings in 90 days and get a temporary sponsor.

BTW do as Carol suggested and see a doctor.