353

Hey Tib,

I drank and drugged for thirty years, got to the point I knew I was going to die from it, then I began thinking about living this way for ....how long.... I couldn't do it anymore.

I tried everything I possibly could think of, then I stopped thinking I could do it myself and did this...

Went to a "beginners" meeting of AA
Recieved a 24 hour token
Got a meeting schedule
Got phone numbers
Used the phone numbers
Went to thirty meetings in thirty days
Got a sponsor
Kept using the phone numbers
Kept going to meetings
Talked to my sponsor and worked the steps

I don't know how or why this worked and I don't really care why or how, it just did and continues too if I make it my top priority.

My experience is DON'T GIVE UP

Peace

CarolD

I too think you should try inpatient
The Salvation Army has excellent free programs.

Your in your early 20's....so many years ahead
of you to live in the joy of recovery...

Prayers coming your way

Tazman53

Tib, no one is too sick for AA or any other program!!!!

When one finally reachs that point where they are willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober they are ready for sobriety.

I have heard folks call it "The gift of desperation", that is what I had! I was sitting in my garage by myself drinking, I knew in less then a month my wife and kids were moving out, it was just going to be me and my bottle, that was it. At first I was happy, I could now drink all I wanted, when ever and where ever I wanted.

I was given a moment of clarity, I stood at the edge of a cliff, if I kept drinking over I went, in less then a year everything material and non-material would be gone and all I would have left was a slow death from alcoholism.

I was totally at a lose for what to do, I called a doctor and made an appointment. I went the following day and because I was desperate not to die for the first time in my life I was honest, I told the doctor the whole truth about my drinking.

I was blessed with desperation, he sent me to detox and I went because I was desperate!

In detox they told me to go to AA, 90 meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor! I did what they suggested because I was desperate!

In AA I followed every suggestion because I was desperate!

Look Tib I know you have been in and out of AA a lot so please just sit down and answer this one question just for your self:

"Have I honestly followed all of the suggestions made to me in AA?"

If you answered yes then it is time to find another program! Honestly follow all of the suggestions in that program, if that program does not work then find another one and do the same.

If you have honestly followed all of the suggestions of all of the programs and are still drinking then start over with AA and work back through them all, there is a program out there that can lead you to sobriety.

Tib no one is to far gone if they are willing to do what ever it takes! I know a man in the early stages of wet brain who has at least 3 years of sobriety today.

Tib long term inpatient and then a half way house may be the ticket for you.

The secret is to be totally honest with your self and totally willing to do what ever it takes to get sober!

least

My drinking career was very short, compared to a lot of members here, but it still led me to the same place: desperation and despair. I have been trying to stop drinking since last December and am finally 'getting it right'. I don't believe anyone is "too sick" to get better. It is only when a person dies that there is no more hope. You are still with us and posting your feelings of desperation and despair. I do not believe you are beyond hope. Indeed, as Taz said, you have been given the "gift of desperation". Use your desperation to get you out of this hole you are in. Stop digging and start calling for help.

You CAN get sober. I'm proof of that! Don't give up on yourself!!

:ghug3

Tryin2Recover

You gotta give up...To the alcohol. Surrender! Admit your defeat. And then build onward. There is always a solution, we just dont always see them through our cloud of addiction. Where in chicago are you? PM me if you dont want to broadcast it. I live 40 miles north, maybe I can take you to a few amazing meetings. There is always a solution, you just need a tiny bit of willingness, and an open mind.

RufusACanal

Tib,

Does this sound familiar; all of these caring people attempting to reach out to you? Over and over you have come to SR and vomitted out your last spree, for a few days you listen, then you turn on folks with anger.

You can recover, but you have to want to. No one, not even God will restore someone who refuses to try.

Why not simply try, again? Make the effort. Hope is possible. Ron

TheMaster

No, you are perfect for it.

I have done some of what you have done. I have awoken with scratches, gashes, and a black eye. I have awoken with my shirt laying in the front yard (no idea what happened to get it, there). I have awoken on the kitchen floor (I opened my eyes to see a refrigerator & oven).

I have awoken to see nasty emails sent from me, the night before and having to call each person & explain myself.

I have called many people nasty names.

I have sent exposed pictures of myself to women I was talking to, online, and when they got attitudes, I let them have it with both barrels. Called them every name in the book...

And I have done it all in 1 night, at times.

I am 30 days sober & go to AA.

If I can do it, you can do it. No excuses! Fix yourself...

Pinkcuda

Keep in mind that there's a lot to be said for a possible mental attitude.

TTOSBT

Nope, you are just sick enough for AA. But I do believe that maybe an inpatient program might be a great first step.
BTW, I broke my elbow 5 years ago and STILL don't know how I did it.
Keep coming back.

Time2Surrender

You are not too sick for AA. As long as you are willing to be completly honest and do the work it can work. You wanna see sick? Come to some of the NA meetings in Forest Grove, Oregon. Dont give up.

tiburon88

Thanks everyone. I won't give up. I have decided to give church a try. I don't get "spirituality" at meetings like some do. I decided to find a real God that I grew up to. I used to use the rooms of AA as a higher power but that turned out to be a joke. I have taken a break from AA/NA meetings. Most of my so called "friends" no longer wish to talk to me. They don't take my calls anymore just because I have a "few" beers in me.


tib

paulmh

Take care Tib.

Tazman53

Steam thanks for that link, in reading it there is no doubt how he got and stays clean and sober, he is a living, walking testament to the miracles that happen in the rooms of NA & AA. I got really choked up several times as I read Josh's story.

Tib perhaps you could do as Josh did, combine church with AA or some other program. Church is one to 2 days a week, alcoholism and addiction is 24X7!

We have an old timer in my area who shared the following one time.

He said he was leaving church after a service and his minister walked up to him and asked him "Are you still going to AA?", he told him yes, the minister replied you don't need to go to AA anymore, we have everything you need right here in this book (He was holding a Bible), he said "You know you are right as far as salvation goes preacher, but if I called you at 2 in the morning and told you I really need a drink what would you tell me to do?". The minister replied "Pray.", he asked the minister "And what would you tell me if I told you I had been praying for hours and I still wanted a drink?" He said the minister said "I Don't know, I guess AA is a pretty good thing for you."

gypsytears

Good to hear .

Personally, I have found great support and solace here at SR.

hope3

Hi, church and AA have a lot in common, they are usually
held in a building. Spirituality is your chosen God-or religion.

As people, we find a way to complicate everything.. You can't find
God in a building--you find him in your heart and soul----I believe God
has always been here for me, but I seemed to block him out..

It helps me to pray and talk to God on a regular basis.

hope and love your way...

hope3

VeritasAequitas

Hey Tib,

I'm not sure where to start other than letting you know you aren't alone in this and I'm glad you're getting back up, bud.

I had a very similar experience with God - I grew up in a strongly Catholic family and once I learned about Evolutionary Theory, my faith fell into a sink hole. Philosophy studies helped to remedy that somewhat but I still couldn't shake logic for faith.

A couple of years ago, my dad asked me to go with him and my grandfather to listen to a priest lecture. His name is Fr. John Carapi and he used to be an addict - my family didn't know of my internal struggle that was tearing me apart so this was a bit of a God shot for me. The lecture was more of a Catholicism state of the union type of deal but he did say something that still won't leave me to this day.

He said, "To those suffering from mental illness or addiction, you are on the front lines of battle." He was referring to the spiritual battle that takes place everyday if you subscribe to that belief.

So excuse my long explanation for this brief point Tib, you are a warrior that has just started to fight. If God didn't think you strong enough, you wouldn't have this disease/ailment/disorder/issue (whatever your take on addiction is).

Take care of yourself bud.

Cathy31

Keep coming back Tib - both here an AA - it works!!

cathy31
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