went through a dark night of the soul and came out into the light
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: ct
Posts: 55
went through a dark night of the soul and came out into the light
i would say i've done some very intense suffering as of late,dark
and oppressive.but then the maddness broke and i seemed to have an epiphany,a sudden intuitive realization about my condition and the direction my life has taken since alcohol ruined my life.i feel different,i haven't drank in almost a week and something has changed in me.i can't really explain it but i feel ready to battle the demon of temptation,and unlike previous attempts,to conquer it instead of being conquered.i failed at this so many times because i had the same mindset,but something has"clicked"and my attitude is different,i don't feel the need or desire to drink.i don't want to go back to my old life,i'm ready for the beauty and challenges of real life.i don't want to be numb and drunkenly depressed anymore.simply put i feel empowered
and oppressive.but then the maddness broke and i seemed to have an epiphany,a sudden intuitive realization about my condition and the direction my life has taken since alcohol ruined my life.i feel different,i haven't drank in almost a week and something has changed in me.i can't really explain it but i feel ready to battle the demon of temptation,and unlike previous attempts,to conquer it instead of being conquered.i failed at this so many times because i had the same mindset,but something has"clicked"and my attitude is different,i don't feel the need or desire to drink.i don't want to go back to my old life,i'm ready for the beauty and challenges of real life.i don't want to be numb and drunkenly depressed anymore.simply put i feel empowered
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 6
Hey Kindablue,
I know exactly what you are going through. It is amazing how one day you wake up and decide to "smell the roses." You do not know where it came from or how it got there--it is just there. I have recently had, as Oprah would say(Satan's minion that she is! HA HA) a "light bulb moment." You just wake up and decide that you are tired of all the S#!T, and you say F___ this. I will pull a positive out of each and every day, no matter how small. Only then can you deal properly with the "demons" that make you want that drink, or hit, or toke, or whatever.
Anyway, be cool,
J.
I know exactly what you are going through. It is amazing how one day you wake up and decide to "smell the roses." You do not know where it came from or how it got there--it is just there. I have recently had, as Oprah would say(Satan's minion that she is! HA HA) a "light bulb moment." You just wake up and decide that you are tired of all the S#!T, and you say F___ this. I will pull a positive out of each and every day, no matter how small. Only then can you deal properly with the "demons" that make you want that drink, or hit, or toke, or whatever.
Anyway, be cool,
J.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Hi Blue,
You wrote:
"i feel ready to battle the demon of temptation,and unlike previous attempts,to conquer it instead of being conquered."
As others have said here, "keep the feeling." Hold on to that feeling. It just might be the courage you need to take the next step.
The only comment I have is about what you said above. I've heard so many times, "I had to surrender to win!" There's no battle in surrender. Surrender means the battle is over. I don't fight temptation, I surrender to the program of AA and to God/Higher Power as I understand Him. I let my HP and AA do the battle for me. I just go to work and do the steps. When I'm actively working the steps and keeping in touch with my HP, I don't have to battle anything or anyone. The problem will be lifted from me. It really happens.
You wrote:
"i feel ready to battle the demon of temptation,and unlike previous attempts,to conquer it instead of being conquered."
As others have said here, "keep the feeling." Hold on to that feeling. It just might be the courage you need to take the next step.
The only comment I have is about what you said above. I've heard so many times, "I had to surrender to win!" There's no battle in surrender. Surrender means the battle is over. I don't fight temptation, I surrender to the program of AA and to God/Higher Power as I understand Him. I let my HP and AA do the battle for me. I just go to work and do the steps. When I'm actively working the steps and keeping in touch with my HP, I don't have to battle anything or anyone. The problem will be lifted from me. It really happens.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
