ducks1

I will begin by saying this site has been a big help to me. Today is day 27 for me. According to various posts on this site I should have had a medically supervised detox since I had been drinking anywhere from one half to one whole gallon of vodka each week for several (8+) years. From what I recall the first three days were horrible- overwhelming anxiety and depression. After that it did get better, but now I am wondering if the lingering anxiety will ever subside.

Each morning when I wake up I feel incredibly anxious- almost to the point of wanting to die to ease the pain. I am anxious about seemingly everything (ie can't find something, will I make enough money this month, who that I am close to will die or be seriously ill, how will I send my son to college in 8 years, why did I buy this house last year, how will my son's mother and I possibly ever merge our belongings together in the same house, will I ever be able to sell my house, what have I done to my liver?)- You get the picture? I am consumed with worry.

So you see I believe I have a sort of chicken and the egg thing going on. Did the anxiety cause the compulsion to drink or has stopping the alcohol intake created the anxiety? I honestly don't remember what things were like when I wasn't drinking or drinking as much. I did have a major depressive episode in 1998- very debilitating for a good two months (Zoloft saved my life then). I had another episode (not as severe) in 2003, and was prescribed Lexapro which I stopped taking in February of his year since I thought it was responsible for making me lose interest in things I used to be passionate about. No major problems emotionally until I quit drinking.

Please respond with your own anxiety experiences- particularly as they relate to alcoholism. I realize each of us have had different experiences, different circumstances, etc, but I need to know that at least some of you experienced what I am going through and ended up at some point at the light at the end of the tunnel. How do I cope? I really cannot imagine having to live like this much longer.

CarolD

I do not recall anxiety being an issue for me
before...during.... or after my drinking.
I have never taken meds for anxiety. Nor seen a doctor.
Sounds really miserable...

Here is an interesting link ....

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Hope that helps...
Congratulations on your new beginning

Sugah

My first suggestion is something you're already doing - sharing those worries. I would take it further and suggest you call the folks in AA and get to some meetings. There's hope in seeing people who are living happy, productive lives who tell you that they, too, have gone through what you're going through.

One of the resulting miracles of working a 12 step program is learning to live one day at a time - which means you can lay down all those worries, as most of them pertain to the future, not the moment in front of you.

As far as the "chicken or egg" question - I do remember being a very nervous, worried child (I started drinking very early), and booze blotted out a lot of that for me. However, whether or not the booze caused my anxiety or was the answer to my anxiety, I had to learn to deal with it, or I'd surely drink again.

I'd never suggest to someone that they don't need medication (or that they do need medication). I'm not a doctor. I can tell you what happened with me. By the time I was a few months sober, taking the steps with a sponsor and developing my faith in a power greater than myself, my anxieties essentially left me. I still have "flare ups" on occasion, but now, I have the tools to deal with them. I spent more than ten years on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications (while still drinking). I'm not on anything today.

Congrats on day 27. Keep on trucking, and you won't ever have to relive those uncomfortable first three days again.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Tommyh

mine came from my untreated alcoholism.Until I took the steps,it was there.Today,it is all but gone,I still find a tad bit from time to time,but nothing I would say is serious.
I never knew how screwed up I was until I quit drinking.See my point?
Might want to start doing something about that untreated alcoholism and then see what is left..good luck Ducks1

you have made it 27 days,you can make it the rest of the day,one day at a time

tommyk

I found out after quitting drinking that much of the reason I drank in the first place was to counter high anxiety.

Anxiety did NOT arise as a result of quitting drinking.

I also found out that 99% of my anxiety has to do with trying to control the future. Constant worry and fretting about tomorrow, next week, next year, etc.

Terrible affliction, paralyzing at times.

The 12 step program and reliance on a Higher Power helped me immensely.

Anna

I had anxiety issues long, long before I started drinking. I think that contributed to my being a control-freak - trying to control everything in my life. I thought it would ease the anxiety but I think it worsened as I held on tighter. The anxiety continued through my few years of drinking. And, since I've been sober, it's still there. I have learned to let go of controlling things in my life and that really helps. I have found that the spiritual aspect of recovery has helped the most. For me, I believe that I am more than this physical body on earth, doing chores, working etc. I am a spiritual being too. And, when I let that sink into my mind, then the daily anxiety lessens. I have never taken medication for anxiety and I don't want to. I've read too many scary stories around here.

You will be able to deal with this. Remember to breathe - it sounds silly, but you'll notice that when you're anxious, your breathing is short and shallow. And, try meditation.

SoosieQ

Hi ducks~
I can totally relate, and I think most alcoholics can do the same. Some people experience anxiety as a result of detox and that is completely normal.

Sounds like you've had some previous experience w/ depression. For me, anxiety and depression came along far earlier than addiction, but, again, it is different for everyone. It surprised me at first that anxiety can be a part of depression. I do some ridiculous things sometimes when I am in that (seemingly) mixed state.

Nutrition and enzymes help me (you might want to pm historyteach if this subject interests you). I know there is no easy answer here. I hope, for your sake that the anxiety is just situational. You are doing great, facing all of these sober days! Best of luck.

mrhodes01

Much of my anxiety when I quit drinking (and I've quit hundreds of times...) is triggered by the wreckage I've created. Lost money, lost relationships, trouble at work, and the like. Working the steps and cleaning that stuff up helps.

My wreckage from the last bottom a year ago is so immense that I haven't been able to shake the anxiety. I've had to try a number of medications, and what I'm on now seems to be helping finally (Seroquel). Beyond that, I try to go to a meeting a day and help others and do my best to focus on today.

I hear you on the chicken and egg thing. I'm not even trying to solve that one anymore--I'm alcoholic and I'm anxious and I just have to do my best to stay sober one day at a time. Everything else will fall into place as it should. The second I try to control things, I end up drunk and things get far worse.

Keep up the good work.

nandm

Future tripping that is what my first sponsor called what you are going through. The solution for me? The Steps of AA and saying and meaning the Serenity Prayer frequently. That helped me through early sobriety.

The above was my experience with anxiety in early sobriety. But I have to say that although that anxiety eased I was diagnosed with PTSD at about 3 years sober. The anxiety that is related to that I have had to deal with through therapy, medication, and other outside help. I do believe that for most people the anxiety of early sobriety goes away and I do hope that is the case for you.

ducks1

All replies I have received have been wonderful. It is so nice to have such a wonderful group of caring people out there. I just got up, and yes the anxiety devil is working on me, but I have sat here and read and reread every reply to my thread- it is helping me knowing that I am not the only one experiencing this type of pain. I can tell that most of you that have replied do indeed truely do understand how it feels to be me right now, and it does give me hope.

The serenity prayer is so very true. I pray that I will be able to better apply it to my everyday life, and I wish for all of you that the good deeds you are delivering here will be richly rewarded.

Now-on with day 28!

tommyk

Today... just for today.

Rimmy

you can't just give up drinking... you have to give up some control over the world you live in. Each day is just a day to do the best you can... Tomorrow might be a bad day... heck, today might be a bad day. But if I spend my energy positively attempting to make each day a good day... a stepping towards a better tomorrow day... then my anxieties relieve themselves quicker.

You are not alone with the "worries", but we are only in control of so much... the rest I leave for someone else.

Hope your anxieties pass... work on the positives