Amelie

Hi All
I have been drinking again for the last month. And now i dont know whether to give up trying to be sober. I dont even know if i did have a problem or i was overanalysing myself. I was happier sober but felt that i could not let my hair down and relax. On each occasion i have had less than 8 beers. I dont have the desire to drink anything else (i never been spirit drinker)
I am really confused. I didnt drink for 6 months previous to this. Does this mean i am not an alcoholic and i can just drink at weekends. The only problem is that my boyfriend thinks i am annoying when i am drunk. I have never been in any trouble with it. Or i dont no what to do anymore. Give up or carry on just drinking at weekends!
Sorry for my ramblings thanks amelie

Serenity2008

Well really only you can answer the question.

Amelie

Think i prob no the answer otherwise i would have joined this site in first place. Thanks for you comment.

Signal30

Amelie,

What you have just said was one the most beautiful words I've heard today.

Most people reply with just a bunch of excuses.

Tom

Cathy31

If it's making any aspect of your life unmanageble I'd give it up and find other ways to relax? I know for me, being sober & working on a life of spirtual progress is really satisfying - i'm much happier than i've ever been.
cathy31
x

Amelie

Going to get back at not drinking no point thinking if i am or not? Who cares - i can only improve myself by not drinking. Drink dont do nothing except give me headache and make me fat. Wish me luck x

Signal30

Geeting out of our comfort zone as alcoholics can always be a challenge. Even if that comfort zone is killing us.


Tom

CarolD

You are so young....it must difficult
to resist peer pressure.

When you were not drinking those 6 months
did you feel better about yourself or not?

gravity

Hi Amelie,

I took a quick look at some of your previous posts/threads and it really does look like alcohol is an issue for you. Honestly, it doesn't seem to match the above post. Personally, I would consider talking to an alcohol counselor, get a true assessment of where you are at.

There is so much truth in alcoholism getting progressively worse. No alcoholic is exempt from this reality. I just kept getting worse, rationalizing my behaviour. I'm so grateful that I took serious action when I did, it was getting harder and harder to stop for any period of time.

I think that it is great that you are asking questions, figuring things out. I hope everything goes well for you.

Don

Amelie

I felt really happy and not many lows or depressed periods. It was nt all rosey though but then nothing is. Better than drinkin then feelin bad afterwards. I guess deep down inside i feel guilty about drinkin as when i do drink i drink more than most and want to repeat more often. To be honest if i had no one around i would be tempted to drink earlier on in the day but have never done say lunch time with a beer. And i tend to drink to feel drunk then when i am boyfriend gets annoyed with me and storms to bed. But i am not sure if he overreacting or i am actually annoying to be around. I tend to be excitable and happy then depressed. When i didnt drink before the councellor told me way up the pros and cons and to talk to side that wants to drink and offer advise and we kind of agreed thats its a problem especially with my studyin and the practical nature of my course cant have hangover and shakey hands. Trouble is i haven t seen her for ages and now when i ask my boyf he says why dont you just drink in moderation and not get drunk but i find thats hard as is not that the point! He makes me doubt if i have a real problem its i like i need to be told by someone what to do. I could if i tried hard stop at 4 maybe 5 beers but i normally like more. Before my 6 months of givin up i was in more of a state now i am more or less normallish. Trouble is when i drink out of house i say things that i shouldnot really repeat to people about my relationship and thats what i regret and i tend to forget bits next day and its like torture in my head thinking did i say that or not. And then remembering! Atleast when i didnt my boyf was proud of me not drinkin and we had no x words i was still buying him beer as he likes to drink. But when we both drink is like a competition for him to drink em before i get to them. But it what got to me was going to the wedding and seein every1 drink i wanted to break free and drink like every 1 else. I should stop before i get more problems but at the moment i am on a 6wk break from uni. And i think its the fact i have no commitments during the day leads me to want to drink. Sorry for long post i guess if i carry on i wil end up missing the entire holiday being drunk and not do anything else. Thanks carol x

Amelie

Thanks don i was worse before and have tried to show some control over this. At the moment i am so confused my head spinning! Think i need to stop and get a clear head. Think i self deluding myself that it will be ok carrying on to end up feeling as low when i joined sr in december 06. Its a joke that i have been having this debate with myself for nearly 2 years! I was only alright after not drinking for a while. It took effort to get to 6 months and i blew it all away. Its deceptive how you can convince yourself you ll be ok and its obvious to every one else your heading down the wrong way.

JohnPainter

Amelie,

Don't stop drinking until you want to do it for you.
Until then, drink as much as you want of whatever you want.
If, however, you think you have a problem but aren't sure; try controlling your drinking by stopping after two drinks. If you can't control your drinking by stopping after two, you might want to ask yourself why it is you feel you need to drink more.
Is it really fun for you? Or, is there some feeling that you are trying to get away from?
I was in a relationship with a real boring woman who didn't like me when I was drunk. I dumped her and got into a relationship with a much more attractive woman who loved to drink with me. A year and a half later I hit my bottom and finally admitted I had a problem.
You might just be a social drinker, or a heavy drinker. You might be able to moderate or stop on your own. I know from my own experience that only a crushing blow to my ego dealt from the bottle was able to convince me that I needed help.

beingjenagain

Like so many have said before me and will say after me...

Only alcoholics worry if they drink too much

CarolD

Well Amelie,
.....I truly appreciate your thoughful reply

You can use those 6 months as a base
for a new beginning. I had false starts too
before I found solid AA recovery.

Blessings

Amelie

Thank you all esp carol i will do that and keep you posted. Hope to post again with a more positive sober outlook instead of my depressed hungover thread. Day 1 again. All the best to you all amelie

gravity

January 2006 was when I started to seriously try and quit drinking. Three good stretches of abstinence/moderation ended in failure - willpower, counseling (my fault, I lied to my counselor), limiting the number of drinks, only on special occasions, only on a full stomach, etc. I eventually convinced myself I wasn't an alcoholic with predictable results. Looking at my drinking history, if there ever was a "WTF? moment", it is how in the heck could I not see anything terribly wrong with what I was doing?

Each time I ended up at the same place I was before and the mental despair was much worse each time. But despite the many failures, I now know what doesn't work for me and, fortunately, I came through it relatively unscathed (seemed like the end of the world at the time).

I now have 6 1/2 months sober through AA. And you are right - it takes effort to keep working on your sobriety & to stay focused. But today, I feel good. I have no doubt in my mind that I am an alcoholic. I know what I have to do to stay sober.

Your past two years were not a wasted effort. You have learned about yourself and have a better idea of where to go from here. Cliché as it is, this can really be the last time that you have to go through this.