Perfect Storm
where the light is
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Perfect Storm
Perfect storm - the simultaneous occurrence of events which, taken individually, would be far less powerful than the result of their chance combination.
During my 6 ˝ months of sobriety, I have tried to be very careful of putting myself in situations where seemingly harmless factors come together simultaneously and result in the obsession to drink. If this were to happen, how would I react? Are the tools that I have developed (so far) enough to withstand the storm? Or would I drink?
For the past four days, I was out of town facilitating a training session. The factors that came into play:
-Some of the training session participants talked to me about past benders, the fun we had, the memories.
-Many of the participants were drinking heavily in the evenings. Coming in late smelling of alcohol. Some were talking about the good time from the night before.
-In the hotel I was staying at, several young people were drinking in their rooms, getting ready for a night on the town. Laughter, the faint smell of alcohol in the hallway.
-To go outside to smoke, I had to repeatedly walk by the bar in the hotel lobby. More laughter, the smell of alcohol.
-I was not well rested (I have a tough time sleeping in hotels). My defenses were down. I was in a bit of a bad mood.
-Had to deal with a very stressful family matter – a loved one is in the grips of active alcoholism and I provided what help I could without getting upset or being judgmental (really tough not to get emotional).
-A friend and drinking buddy from the past was trying to contact me.
More than once, the thought did cross my mind. Why bother? It would be so easy to just have a drink. That was the form the obsession took – giving up.
What I did right - I prayed. I reflected on the 12 steps, what they mean to me. I did some reading. I talked about it with my wife. I kept busy. Yesterday, I finished off my last post with these words: “One day at a time. I will not drink today.”
What I did wrong - I isolated. I did not call my sponsor. I did not try to find a meeting. I did not ask for help on SR.
I am home right now, physically and emotionally drained – but at peace, still sober. Without the strength and the tools that I have developed through AA, I would likely be drinking right now. I would have rationalized that “a couple of drinks won’t hurt, I can quit again tomorrow”.
At the same time, this is a wake up call. I always give others the advice to reach out for help, work hard at sobriety, and be patient. I haven’t been taking my own advice (complacency after 6 months?) and I almost paid a huge price.
During my 6 ˝ months of sobriety, I have tried to be very careful of putting myself in situations where seemingly harmless factors come together simultaneously and result in the obsession to drink. If this were to happen, how would I react? Are the tools that I have developed (so far) enough to withstand the storm? Or would I drink?
For the past four days, I was out of town facilitating a training session. The factors that came into play:
-Some of the training session participants talked to me about past benders, the fun we had, the memories.
-Many of the participants were drinking heavily in the evenings. Coming in late smelling of alcohol. Some were talking about the good time from the night before.
-In the hotel I was staying at, several young people were drinking in their rooms, getting ready for a night on the town. Laughter, the faint smell of alcohol in the hallway.
-To go outside to smoke, I had to repeatedly walk by the bar in the hotel lobby. More laughter, the smell of alcohol.
-I was not well rested (I have a tough time sleeping in hotels). My defenses were down. I was in a bit of a bad mood.
-Had to deal with a very stressful family matter – a loved one is in the grips of active alcoholism and I provided what help I could without getting upset or being judgmental (really tough not to get emotional).
-A friend and drinking buddy from the past was trying to contact me.
More than once, the thought did cross my mind. Why bother? It would be so easy to just have a drink. That was the form the obsession took – giving up.
What I did right - I prayed. I reflected on the 12 steps, what they mean to me. I did some reading. I talked about it with my wife. I kept busy. Yesterday, I finished off my last post with these words: “One day at a time. I will not drink today.”
What I did wrong - I isolated. I did not call my sponsor. I did not try to find a meeting. I did not ask for help on SR.
I am home right now, physically and emotionally drained – but at peace, still sober. Without the strength and the tools that I have developed through AA, I would likely be drinking right now. I would have rationalized that “a couple of drinks won’t hurt, I can quit again tomorrow”.
At the same time, this is a wake up call. I always give others the advice to reach out for help, work hard at sobriety, and be patient. I haven’t been taking my own advice (complacency after 6 months?) and I almost paid a huge price.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Reality. Good post.
Nothing happens perfectly in our imperfect world. Good job using some of the tools we learn to stay sober. Good job in realizing the tools you didn't use too.
Bottom line: you didn't drink.
Nothing happens perfectly in our imperfect world. Good job using some of the tools we learn to stay sober. Good job in realizing the tools you didn't use too.
Bottom line: you didn't drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
That's a great post Gravity.
I think it shows that you have achieved lots of growth and enough perspective to be able to look back and know that you don't want to go back there again.
I think it shows that you have achieved lots of growth and enough perspective to be able to look back and know that you don't want to go back there again.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,902
Thank you so much for sharing that story, gravity. It was very powerful. Congratulations on not drinking! You may not think you did everything right, but you did enough right that you made it through without picking up, and that's "the right thing" every time!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Gravity,
What a bare bones description of the futility of self; this is the unfortunate definition of the insanity in Step Two. I am always unable to master a defense against the first drink by my own power. With a power greater than I as the Principle, the drink question no longer exists. How did this happen? I surrender all, imperfectly daily.
If I am in control, I will fail. There is no better example than the helplessness and hopelessness we can find ourselves in while we attempt to do battle with life unaided.
Those who practice life on life's terms unaided will ultimately fail. Bareknuckling is living life, moment to moment under your own steam. Intellectual sobriety will fail; I know from personal experience. Nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible in God's world, if you allow that greater being to be the guide.
Ron
What a bare bones description of the futility of self; this is the unfortunate definition of the insanity in Step Two. I am always unable to master a defense against the first drink by my own power. With a power greater than I as the Principle, the drink question no longer exists. How did this happen? I surrender all, imperfectly daily.
If I am in control, I will fail. There is no better example than the helplessness and hopelessness we can find ourselves in while we attempt to do battle with life unaided.
Those who practice life on life's terms unaided will ultimately fail. Bareknuckling is living life, moment to moment under your own steam. Intellectual sobriety will fail; I know from personal experience. Nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible in God's world, if you allow that greater being to be the guide.
Ron
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 16
The worst are those moments of 'alcoholwasics.' You go a long time no problem and then your mind just slips into, "A drank? Well don't mind if I do." Followed up by a momentary what the **** are you doing? It got me once, guess I needed to touch the hot plate to know it's hot. It's awesome that you held up though even if it did drain you some.
As a follow-up, I opened a soda today and out of nowhere I thought, "Time to light a cigarette." I haven't smoked in a long time. I haven't thought about it in a long time. I haven't thought about drinking soda and smoking, well, ever. Another what the **** moment.
As a follow-up, I opened a soda today and out of nowhere I thought, "Time to light a cigarette." I haven't smoked in a long time. I haven't thought about it in a long time. I haven't thought about drinking soda and smoking, well, ever. Another what the **** moment.
ever closer...
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 361
i am going to save your post and read it over and over when i go on my work cruise in october with about 20 girls from work. Hopefully by then it will be well known that i don't drink...but who knows!
Thanks for the awesome and honest post
Thanks for the awesome and honest post
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Fabulous post Gravity. Thanks for reminding us that a drink NEVER makes anything better and by curbing our impulsive need to deaden, and calmly reflecting on where that drink will take us, we can make it through to the other side. Vigilence and faith. Congratulations on yours!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 102
Gravity - great insight! Recently had the same thing. At the Sox's v. Astros game. With friends from out of town. In a hotel. Hence why I'm at day 4. I plan to keep this thread in my wallet. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Gravity))) - what an awesome post!
Do you remember the first time you went on a business trip and stuck really close to SR because it was so new to you? I do, and I remember how proud I was of you when you got through that trip sober.
You just got through another hurdle, learned a few lessons, but also used the tools you had. I am very proud of you, again.
So, the next time you go on a trip, don't forget to take us and your sponsor along, okay? I don't know about the others, here, but I LIKE to travel...even if it's only by hearing about it.
Good job!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Do you remember the first time you went on a business trip and stuck really close to SR because it was so new to you? I do, and I remember how proud I was of you when you got through that trip sober.
You just got through another hurdle, learned a few lessons, but also used the tools you had. I am very proud of you, again.
So, the next time you go on a trip, don't forget to take us and your sponsor along, okay? I don't know about the others, here, but I LIKE to travel...even if it's only by hearing about it.
Good job!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
where the light is
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Thank you for the kind replies and comments. I think we all have business trips and other tough situations coming up in the near future.
One thing I didn’t mention in the first post is that I had a real sense of confidence before going on this trip. I had taken the usual precautions, had done it before, and felt that I wouldn’t have any problems. Maybe I needed a wake up call.
Amy, I do remember that thread from March (thank you, my friend!). I had asked for help here on SR to get me through that trip. The encouragement & help (and the laughs) was a major reason why I got through that one. Here is this link if anyone is interested:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...preciated.html
If anyone else wants to do the same thing, I’ll try and throw in my real-time encouragement. I would also suggest asking for suggestions now, to have a plan and a back-up plan.
I have another challenging weekend coming up and am being much more careful this time. I will be sure to share my experiences here on SR.
Take good care everyone.
Don
One thing I didn’t mention in the first post is that I had a real sense of confidence before going on this trip. I had taken the usual precautions, had done it before, and felt that I wouldn’t have any problems. Maybe I needed a wake up call.
Amy, I do remember that thread from March (thank you, my friend!). I had asked for help here on SR to get me through that trip. The encouragement & help (and the laughs) was a major reason why I got through that one. Here is this link if anyone is interested:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...preciated.html
If anyone else wants to do the same thing, I’ll try and throw in my real-time encouragement. I would also suggest asking for suggestions now, to have a plan and a back-up plan.
I have another challenging weekend coming up and am being much more careful this time. I will be sure to share my experiences here on SR.
Take good care everyone.
Don
Rob From Canada eh!!
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario
Posts: 95
Hey Don (Gravity)and other from the original 2 weeks and under group
Mayorob1 (Rob) hear
I haven't been around for a long time, hope you and all the gang are doing great.
I haven't been totally out there pounding back the drinks but have been drinking. I don't really have all the excuses that I did before.
I finally sold my house which was close to the six nations reserve (had thought it was worthless and this gave me a great excuse to drink)
Any how I am going to try this again, I think for all the same reason's as last time
Anyhow that's enough for my first post back, I have logged in a couple of times over the last few months and noticed how many people you have helped through tough times.
While have to get back to work
Cheers
Rob (mayorob1)
I haven't been around for a long time, hope you and all the gang are doing great.
I haven't been totally out there pounding back the drinks but have been drinking. I don't really have all the excuses that I did before.
I finally sold my house which was close to the six nations reserve (had thought it was worthless and this gave me a great excuse to drink)
Any how I am going to try this again, I think for all the same reason's as last time
Anyhow that's enough for my first post back, I have logged in a couple of times over the last few months and noticed how many people you have helped through tough times.
While have to get back to work
Cheers
Rob (mayorob1)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 222
God really threw temptation your way
I don't know if I could have stayed away. Although, when I was in corporate, I never drank around co-workers.......knew better......drank with friends away from work. But then, I worked at a very conservative accounting firm......accountants don't drink much, at least not the one I worked for.
Congrats again and thanks for the great post.
Congrats again and thanks for the great post.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
