TigerLili

I have a friend who is a heavy drinker and her brother just passed away unexpectedly. She lost both parents a few months ago. She wants me to come over and drink with her but I have to not pick up 'no matter what'. There will also be a funeral and very boozy wake next week. The monster in my head tells me it's ok to drink under these circumstances after all, I'm drinking for my friend not for myself.

So I am posting here as my commitment that I will be with my friend in her grief but I won't drink today.

I will post again when I come home and I will still be clean and sober at day 7.

tommyk

Good resolve! Stay with your decisions.

whiskerkissed

That's the way to stick to your resolve!! Good for you!! I can't wait to hear how well you've done - because I know you can do it!!

TigerLili

Thank you. I haven't gone yet. I'm waiting for her to call me back and tell me where to meet her. I think she may still be at the hospital. We normally drink a great deal together. She has no idea I'm not drinking any more.

CarolD

You will be better able to assist your friend
sober and clear headed.
It's good to see you know that.

Prayers for your friend and for you
as you help her deal with this sad situation.

whiskerkissed

I hope she reacts to the news positively. I understand she's hurting and needs a friend...but there's no reason why that friend can't comfort her while sober...:-) Maybe you will inspire her...

sailorjohn

Don't forget, if you're feeling really shaky you can always leave.

Dee74

you're an Aussie - you can do it

just remember what you're there for - sadness and grief (especially someone else's) are hard things to deal with - so are friends drinking...but it can be done sober

just set things out from the get go...
D

Rowan

Thinking of you, and looking forward to your blog when you get home.

Stamps43

Project the person you want to be when you're in situations where someone really wants you to drink with them. Sounds like you can find the balance between being a good friend but not forgetting to have love for yourself at the same time.

barb dwyer

*prayers*

serenityqueen

TigerLili

As it turns out, my friend went to her sister's house so I didn't see her today. However I did end up at another friend's surprise party which was meant to be an English high tea (no alcohol) but people did bring booze so I left as soon as I could and went to a meeting.

At the meeting, someone said that it was ok if I picked up, that it happens to everyone blah blah. I didn't find that all that helpful.

I'm going to a new meeting tomorrow - it's for beginners.

Ananda

Hi TL, you are doing so well at making healthy decisions! I'm very impressed with your comittment. Geee....perhaps the person at the meeting was just trying to express that it's ok if you do pick up, don't let it stop you from getting right back to meetings. Not "everybody" relapses after coming to the program. I can certainly see how that could hit someone wrong and will think about how I phraze that sort of thing to people. you made me think! thanks for sharing that.

I really hope your day goes well today, posting can help us get through any rough patches..

TigerLili

Thanks Ananda!

You know, my memory is crap now. Is this common when people stop drinking? I have always had a bad memory but now I can't remember things like if I already took a shower, fed my cat, fed myself, took my meds etc or like today when I opened my bag and found a new book. It took me a while to remember that I brought it earlier today. I was so surprised. I couldn't imagine where it had come from!

Ananda

I think that is fairly common...for me i was in a treatment center the first month and that whole month was pretty foggy. But some memory problems continued for many months after that gradually improving...however, under stress I still tend to get real memory problems..i think that is short term memory.

Eating right seems to help our over all mental and physical health to improve faster 8

TigerLili

Yes, I need to do something about that. I get overwhelmed at the thought of negotiating the supermarket, preparing meals etc. I have been living on toast, eggs and vitamins. And a lot of green tea. I really need to eat some vegetables!

blue412

TL,

I've been meaning to check in with you to see how you are doing. I see you're doing just fine Your positive attitude and approach has inspired me and started my morning off with a smile. So, thanks for that..b

Ananda

you know I just love veggies and fruit (ok well only melons and strawberries and peaches if they are really good)...but they are really pricy...if they really wanted people to eat well in the US they would invest some of those public service funds in getting those prices lower...and they would use some education funds to lower the price of books...for me it is cheaper and takes longer to get through a movie vidio than a book!


oppps sorry got off on my tangent

RobbyRobot

Sorry for all your pain and that of your friend. And what a friend you are! Take good care of yourself through all this. Your strong! Your committed! You got that monster gagged, in chains, and locked down for the count. we'll be thinking on you throughout the whole week. Courage!