The compulsion to drink was lifted?
 

Good morning!! I have 8 months sobriety and would like some input on the phrase "the compulsion to drink was lifted." I hear a lot of people say this and have read about it in AA literature, but I go back in forth in my mind wondering what that really means. I haven't drank and pray to my higher power all the time to make me willing, but I still have this feeling of frustration over the fact I can not drink, if that makes any sense! I know I can't because I know where it took me and I know if I do I will end up hurting or killing someone or myself. I have a hard time with going places like the beach or up to the river or a lot of the fun things I use to do and not being able to drink. I tell myself it is ok and I had a good time without it but still have that "want to" but have chosen not to. I am not sure if this is making sense but just wondering if there is a difference in the compulsion to drink verses the wanting to drink? Does this ever go away?

For me.....and I've been sober almost 11 yrs., the compulsion/desire to drink &/or use was removed. I can't remember exactly when. But, I just kept praying and still do that the obsession/compulsion be removed from me to use or drink. It is gone now. My sponsor had me busy with meetings/reading/writing/working steps etc. I stayed busy, I changed what I was doing if thoughts came in and I would think them all the way through.

The timing is different for everyone I think. Also a lesson learned for me since I was in & out for so long was this.....it's way easier to stay clean & sober than it was to clean up and sober up again!!! Hang on to the sobriety date and the further you are from the last drink things keep getting different and for me different was better...way better!!

I highly doubt the desire to drink ever goes away entirely for those that abused it for many years - maybe for those that got sober very early in life, but for those that abused booze 10+ years, I have doubts. I hear people in AA refer, even brag, that they no longer have the desire to drink like its some badge of courage. Seems to be a common theme in these meetings, where everyone tries to "one up each other". Just my opinion.

There really are some delusional people in these meetings. I was in a step meeting the other night, where a guy spoke to the group about "finally understanding the steps"after 7 years. He says he no longer prepares to speak in front of groups anymore because "He" will give him the words, and "He" will guide him through his speech. That the words are now "His" words. It took every ounce of effort to not roll my eyes.

I am finding the smaller groups are more for me, like 15-20 people.The large groups seem to be more of a competition among those who are tenured in the program. It seems when one person with multiple years sobriety starts speaking, then the flood gates open and it becomes a frat party without the booze.

I went to one meeting Sunday where only the people that worked the steps could comment on the steps - I am serious. As a Newcomer, I walked out halfway through. Why the f@ck do "successful" people who worked the steps feel the need to speak the entire meeting? Sounds like to me these people have major confidence issues outside of AA, so they feel important by having meetings where they are the experts and can only speak. The lecturing to newcomers damn near made me puke.

I can see why AA gets a bad wrap with a lot of people. That said, there are a couple smaller groups where the focus is simply not drinking and helping other people. I identify with those groups. The "I am more of an expert than you on the big book" meetings are not for me. Get a life.

pgreer as is said in the promises following step 9, for some it comes quickly, for others slowly, but it will always come to those who work for it.

For the first 2 months I was sober I was doing okay, I was going to at least a meeting every day, calling others in the fellowship daily as well as my sponsor....... but the thought of a drink was always in the back of my mind. After I had been sober a little over 2 months the thoughts of a drink kept sounding better and better even though I really knew that for me to drink was to die!

Well it was really getting bad even though I was doing ALMOST everything my sponsor and other suggested except one MAJOR thing, I had not started working the steps with my sponsor. I finally was hurting bad enough that I began to listen to what the old timers were saying that if I wanted a chance at long term happy sobriety to work the steps.

Well I got another sponsor and as soon as we started to work the steps the urge/obsession to drink weakened. Some where after step 5 I suddenly realized I was no longer obsessing about how nice a drink would be, I no longer cared if I ever had a drink again. The idea of even a single drink repulsed me!!!

For me the steps were the key, I have heard folks share that it was a year or more after working the steps steps that the obsession was lifted, they also shared that there was a change in them when it happened, I had a change as well, an awakening.

What led to the obsession being lifted for me? A combination of the steps and prayer. Be patient, it will come.

Well...:)
I was 3 years AA sober when
I was in a work situation where I could secretly drink.

I fell to my knees and prayed for the desire to leave.
Zap! A warm feeling of peace and safety
impossible to describe....surrounded me.

I have not had another obcession in 16 years.
I consider this was a God shot.

Congratulations on your sober time
:hug:

Just as a follow up, I don't mean to sound negative. But the last couple meetings I have went to were extremely condescending. I don't need to be lectured and not allowed to speak by a group of "experts", many of whom have been in jail, ostracized from their family and can't hold down a job.

Helping is one thing. Lecturing is another. I don't need to be told I can't speak until I do "this" by some guy who served 8 months in the county jail for crimes against the community. No offense.

I no longer have the desire or inclination to drink, in fact the mere thought of drinking is repulsive.

Why?

Well, I think it is because I have worked with so many recovering alcoholics, I watched their self-destruction, I watched the destruction they wreak on their families, I watched the way they destroyed their own credibility & self esteem in the eyes of society. I watched as the very few became long term sober, while the rest went on to jails, institutions, and death.

I thank God everyday that I was able to quit, because sooooo many people can not quit.

My suggestion to those with a compulsion to drink would be to sponsor people in the program, work with those struggling to remain sober. It may remind you of how fortunate you are, and why.

Good topic.

Salesguy I am not trying to brag or one up anyone, but I drank for 40 years, I was a full blown alcoholic for the last 5 years of my drinking, the obsession was lifted for me. BTW I prefer the smaller meetings also, every one gets to share.

In regards to those meetings where only certain people can share....... I am with you, to me I learn just as much from newcomers as I do from old timers, and I feel it is important that a newcomer be able to ask questions and comment.

AA is chock full of alcoholics and people of all types, all with differing opinions, one of the reasons why there are so many different types of meetings. Most old timers in my area are pretty cool and do not hold thier length of time sober up as some sort of rank, we do have a few though that will always remind everyone how many years they have been sober. This is where I remind myself to take what is said at a meeting that helps me and leave the rest at the meeting.

One thing I try to keep in mind is that alcoholics are a cross section of society as a whole, there will always be the braggards, the sexist, the holier then thoughs, etc.

If they exist in society you will find them in AA as well. That does not mean that is what AA is all about, it just means that we all have work yet to do on our selfs.

AA meetings are often like bar rooms.

Some you would like, and some you wouldn't. Some you would go back to, some you would walk out of.

But we were all in each of them for the same reasons.

When I really, really wanted a drink there was never a bar room I didn't like.

When I really, really needed some recovery time, there has never been a meeting I didn't like.

(When I can 'critique' a meeting, I know deep down I must be doing pretty well.)

SalesGuy,

Hello, what you said is true, some meetings are better than others. I go to one "mens only" meeting which sometimes can seem like we're all playing who can be mo sober better, but I still manage to get a lot of wisdom from the people who aren't beating their chests. I also go to some smaller discussion meetings, in fact my homegroup is one such meeting, I really like all of the people there. I believe you just need to find the meetings you truly like and keep coming back! Remember, we can compare ourselves right out of these rooms if we chose to. I also would recommend giving some not so great meetings a second chance down the road, meetings change as the people change and I have been pleasantly surprised a couple of times when returning to a meeting I hadn't particularly liked at one time.

John

Good post Tommy. I have been to some horrible meetings, virtually no talk of the solution, either whining about life or bragging about one thing or the other. I try to share the solution at meeting like this, sometimes to no avail........

One thing I have found is I walk away from every meeting with something, the majority of them I walk away with something I have found useful, others it is simply knowing that I do not want to be the way someone else is.

For me... the last year of the 25 years I spent drinking I had to drink in the morning in order to function in the outside world. I would wake up so shaky and anxious and only more alcohol would make it go away. This was a very real, very physical addiction to alcohol. On the other hand, after I had made it through another day of work, I would get home and I would want to drink - even though I knew that the next morning would be exactly the same. I, as we say in N.A., "lived to use and used to live."

The physical addiction went away pretty quickly after I stopped drinking. It took longer to lose the desire to be drunk and to use alcohol as an alternative to actually experiencing life. I also believe that it took something more than just not drinking for me to bring about this change. What I did was practice the program of recovery laid out in the 12 steps of A.A. and the 12 steps of N.A. When I gave it my best, it worked. Just like all of the people who came before me said it would.

For me... the lifting of the obsession and the on going process of growth in recovery are the result of action on my part. I didn't experience a magic moment when the clouds parted and a spiritual beam zapped away the desire to drink. Also, I don't kid myself that I am cured. When I first heard that my recovery was "a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition", I was skeptical and I was not very pleased. I wanted a solution which required no ongoing effort on my part. I have come to see the truth in that statement and also to appreciate that my life is just better when I do what it takes to maintain my spiritual well being.

The desire to drink did go away for me. I remember the first day I went all day without thinking about drinking. Think it was around 7 months.

But early on there would be triggers. People, places and things would make me think of my old drinking days. Yes, there were many fun times drinking but there were also bad times. It was the ugly memories that popped in my head when a thought of drinking came to mind.

Today, I have so many good memories in my sober life that the old triggers are gone. I think you will have many wonderful times without drinking and those old thoughts will fade.

For me first there is the thought to drink. When it comes I no longer entertain it. It is dismissed as quickly and easily as the thought "I'm going to rob a bank" because I want money. (I'm going to get drunk because I want to have fun). I don't have to think about the consequences I just know they are bad. When I did entertain the idea and allowed it to hang around it quickly became an obsession or compulsion. I'm not really sure what the right word is but it's not a good thing either. That's when I either give in and drink or the battle in my mind begins and I lose that battle and drink. There is no point in fighting it anymore.

Wanting to drink (the thought) and having the compulsion to drink are different but they are two parts of the same process. For me the desire to drink has been removed. I don't want to drink anymore. If I did still want to drink at some point no matter how bad the consequences I would drink.

Before the thought comes, on a daily basis I give my will (the desire to drink) to God and ask that I may do his will.

"The compulsion to drink was lifted"


Yes - this has been my experience. Somewhere between my 3rd step and 5th step I realised that I didn't think about drinking. I wasn't deciding to drink or not to drink - it plain never came to mind, it still does not.

That doesn't mean that it won't come to mind again. In fact - I fully expect that the idea of having a drink will come to mind and seem as natural as anything.

If this is a badge for me to wear - it's only to show to others that it's possible, nothing more.

You don't ever have to drink again - and - you can live a happy, meaningful life. I don't have to ask God on a daily basis to remove the compulsion - it has already been removed (I don't think it comes back while I am sleeping), that does not mean I am better or much different than those who ask daily to have the obsession removed.

More often I ask "How can I be helpful today"....the rest just falls into place.

for me, the compulsion to drink vanished after step 3. or, more simply, after i made a decision to live god centered. this is not to say that i succeeed daily at step 3, because i don't. but the drink habit has become a non-habit, and therefore no compulsion.

its okay to be honest, even if your honesty is negative, uncomfortable or unpopular. I am not offended by honesty. You are welcome here.

Your description in your first post about God speaking "thru" others is actually very refreshing. I felt that same way too.

discernment and good judgement are part of recovery as is being centered in a spiritually full life. please keep trying to get the recovery that's there for you, you are worth it!

I too, am no longer a slave to a drink or the thought of a drink. One day several years ago, I realized that the drink was no longer a part of my thinking; God had removed the thoughts.

The orginal poster may just be mourning the drink. It takes time to get over the loss of a best friend. I'v been sober for almost 4 years and in my 3rd year of sobriety wanting to drink came back so strongly. I was doing nothing wrong, I was going to meetings, talking with my sponcer, working the steps. I had triggers beoned my control. I think that is why it's a one day at a time program because you never know even after 20 years when your going to drink. I'v known people that after 20 years went out and got drunk and they are having a hard time getting back into the program. I'm honest in my program and when I think of drinking I tell someone. If I don't tell someone that means I'm planing my next drunk. I'm proud to say I'm sober today,but I'm also here to say that sometimes a drink does look good,but not the outcome of it. I use to feel like something was wrong with me because the idea of drinking was not lifted from me all the time,but after seeing people go out with years of being sober, I now know that you can pick up a drink at any time. I guess for the poster I would not worry too much on if your ever going to have the desire to drink removed,but focus on today and thank God your not drinking today. That is why we have slogans and steps to ever remind us that alls we have is today to stay sober and they are there for us to get over the want of drinking.

Zoomer you bring out a good point, just focus on not drinking today and not on when the compulsion will be lifted.