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A Friend is Dying.... If you bare with me....this does relate to drinking. She is not an addict. She is 35 years old. She is the Mother of 3 boys ages 10 8 and 4. Happily married and by all accounts, she has lived a good life. We had lost touch over the past couple of years, basically due to me being a drunk. Something I deeply regret. I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. Here I was still partying years after most people stop and she was raising a family. I was downing budweiser and she was making cookies. She still kept in touch, stopped by the office here and there, she made the effort to be my friend and I made very little the past few years. Seriously nice girl. Rare person. Good person. Good friend. Last time I saw her was 3 months ago. Her name is Frances, named after a Saint no-less. She has liver cancer and is on Hospice. Her husband works for me. He is taking this week off to plan her service and be with her as much as possible. She is dying. Leaving behind 3 children and a husband that is madly in love with her. Will they ever heal? Frances is someone that Chose life. She never abused herself and she never took her life for granted. Most of us here have not made a choice that's PROlife, we have cherished very little, we have abused ourselves beyond belief and yet....yet here I sit. Fit as a fiddle. My liver (so far) is ok. It doesnt make any sense to me. What kind of words would my friends and family say about me when I pass?? Good person? Good friend? Was I there for anyone? Truly available on a human level? Or did I let my disease wrap up my life and waste it away? Nothing like a little death to open your eyes. Please pray for Her that her passing is peaceful, that her children can heal and her husband can mend his shredded heart. And everyone here, take care of yourselves. Truly. Care for your life. |
Prayers for Francis, her family and you Plulu. :praying |
Add my prayers to the list. Peace & Love, Sugah |
Plu, My prayers for your friend and her family. Sometimes life just sucks and isn't exactly fair when seen through our eyes. As far as what would your friends and family will say when you pass, well that's entirely up to you know isn't it? God Bless You, John |
Prayers for Francis ....and for all who love her. |
Hey plulu ---- "...We had lost touch over the past couple of years, basically due to me being a drunk. Something I deeply regret. I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. Here I was still partying years after most people stop and she was raising a family. I was downing budweiser and she was making cookies. She still kept in touch, stopped by the office here and there, she made the effort to be my friend and I made very little the past few years. Seriously nice girl. Rare person. Good person. Good friend. Last time I saw her was 3 months ago..." I know her husband wants to spend as much time with her as he can, but have you thought about going to see her.....tell her like you've told us here (see above)...I dunno, but I know I've lost friends that I wish I'd had a bit of warning so's I could have said some parting words.....it's always the things we didn't say (and wish we had).....at least it is with me..... (o: NoelleR |
My prayers for Frances, her family, and her friends. Thank you for sharing this. |
We have a disease that can be controlled by our choices. Never forget that others have diseases that cannot be controlled by any means. Next time you are feeling down, wanting to use - remember that we are the lucky ones. |
Dear Plulu, Your story is heartbreaking. I have a friend that I have team-taught with now for about sixteen years. Her name is Grace, and everyone who knows her thinks she is amazing. She is very careful with her health. But a mammogram is once a year. This year there was a problem. Not only does she have breast cancer, the cancer has gone into her bones. She is sweet, will make you comfortable the minute you walk into her house, and she has five dogs. Why? My prayers for Grace can mingle with my prayers for your friend. And thank you for sharing this. It helped me to share Grace's story. So sad. Carol |
Prayers and Love for Frances, all her loved ones, and you Plulu. :praying |
I thank you for sharing this with us, plulu. It's a sad world we live in when someone else's pain, anguish and suffering is a way to make some of us think twice. There were times in the first year of so of my Recovery that I almost felt guilty for still being alive when others who never said an unkind word to anyone have suffered endlessly before their passing. I finally made the decision to turn my guilt into gratitude . . . I feel I am alive because God has plans for me. Who am I to question God's plan for anyone? Please don't think I meant the last sentence as a message to you or anyone else, it is simply something that had weighed heavily on my mind for quite some time. I thank you for once again reminding me how truly Blessed I am for still being alive after the 32 years of abuse I put my body through as well as the hurt I caused in so many people's lives while active with my addiction. God has truly given us all the most precious gift of all . . . life. I agree with what was said, perhaps you should go see her and let her know how special she is and always was to you. I imagine she would love to hear these words now to remind her of how Blessed her life has been. . . even if it will be cut short. Prayers for Frances and all who love her, Judy |
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Prayers for Francis and for her 3 children.... :praying |
Plulu prayers for Francis and all those who love her. Go to see her, let her know what she means to you, the time draws short. One thing I am thankful for is both of my parents passed before my alcoholism really took control of me, I know for a fact that the last words I ever said to both my parents were "I love you." I am not sure those would have been my last words to them if they had lived long enough to see me as a full blown alcoholic. |
Plulu - i am so very sorry. Prayers for Francis, her boys, her husband, the rest of her family and also, definitely prayers for Plulu too - one of God's children too. |
Plulu praying for her and her family What kind of words would my friends and family say about me when I pass?? Good person? Good friend? Was I there for anyone? Truly available on a human level? Or did I let my disease wrap up my life and waste it away? that is a decision we all can make here and now and what we decide will make all the difference.A wise Priest told me once,Tommy, God loves you and wants you to be happy and go out there in life and be all you can be.I believe the same is true with us all. How we live is our decision |
Accept the things you cannot change. Having the courage to change the things you can. You can visit her, you can pray for her and your family. The power of prayer may not cure her, but it can help cope. Tom |
". . .A wise Priest told me once,Tommy, God loves you and wants you to be happy and go out there in life and be all you can be. I believe the same is true with us all. How we live is our decision" Thank you. I really appreciate this in particular. Not sure why, but it has really struck a chord with me today. |
I just found out my friend Joey:c020: is dying. He's 24, a year older than me. He looks horrible, he doesn't act right, he looks sick. I just passed my 18 month mark sober, almost 2 years off street drugs. I feel like crying, it's the only thing I can do. People die, I'm going to die, but not like that. I'm going to live before I die. |
Julian.....I'm sorry your friend is so ill. Prayers going out to both of you :hug: Good to know you are clean and sober...well done...:funjump: |
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