here i go .... again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 59
here i go .... again
hi everyone. i haven't been on here in almost a year. but i wanted to get back to being sober again.
a lot has happenened to me. about a year ago i was drinking at a friends house. i was driving home and hit another car on the freeway. i drove to my house instead of stopping. someone got my license and the cops came to my house.
i made up some story that i was scared and it was my first accident but i still got a misdameanor hit and run. so my punishment is 60 days of cal trans freeway work. $1200 fine and 3 years probation.
also prior to this i was laid off from my job because of the mortgage industry taking a dive. so i was feeling at such a low point in my life.
in september i was feeling really bad with working lots of hours at a bad job and just trying to pay the bills. i was drinking heavily and was about to commit suicide. i was really drunk but i called a friend of mine and told her what i was feeling and she helped me to check into a rehab place.
i stayed there for a couple of days but after sobering up i was feeling better about myself.
i really want to get sober this time. i've been drinking every weekend but when i drink its a lot and i can't stop until i pass out. and i'm still doing stupid stuff like drive while i'm drunk.
i'm 30 now and i think its time to stop playing around. if i get pulled over i'm going straight to jail.
i know i need to get to the meetings but i'm always scared to hang out with new people who i don't know.
i know last time i was on here i was doing really good so i was thinking this is a good place to start.
Thank you for listening
a lot has happenened to me. about a year ago i was drinking at a friends house. i was driving home and hit another car on the freeway. i drove to my house instead of stopping. someone got my license and the cops came to my house.
i made up some story that i was scared and it was my first accident but i still got a misdameanor hit and run. so my punishment is 60 days of cal trans freeway work. $1200 fine and 3 years probation.
also prior to this i was laid off from my job because of the mortgage industry taking a dive. so i was feeling at such a low point in my life.
in september i was feeling really bad with working lots of hours at a bad job and just trying to pay the bills. i was drinking heavily and was about to commit suicide. i was really drunk but i called a friend of mine and told her what i was feeling and she helped me to check into a rehab place.
i stayed there for a couple of days but after sobering up i was feeling better about myself.
i really want to get sober this time. i've been drinking every weekend but when i drink its a lot and i can't stop until i pass out. and i'm still doing stupid stuff like drive while i'm drunk.
i'm 30 now and i think its time to stop playing around. if i get pulled over i'm going straight to jail.
i know i need to get to the meetings but i'm always scared to hang out with new people who i don't know.
i know last time i was on here i was doing really good so i was thinking this is a good place to start.
Thank you for listening
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Welcome back! I hope you stick around this time! It only gets worse--the progression of alcoholism...the people at meetings aren't as scary as you think--especially when you weigh the good and the bad--of trying to meet new people who are sober and have been where you have been vs. continuing on the destructive path which you have already described.....but only you can decide what road to take. Hang aroung here awhile in the meantime--glad you are here! :ghug2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Think of all the new people you don't know that you'll be hanging out with if you get sent to jail...
Is that enough to keep you sober? If not, there's an answer - sounds like you already know what it is.
What part of LA are you from?
Is that enough to keep you sober? If not, there's an answer - sounds like you already know what it is.
What part of LA are you from?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by sugErspun 
Think of all the new people you don't know that you'll be hanging out with if you get sent to jail...
Is that enough to keep you sober? If not, there's an answer - sounds like you already know what it is.
What part of LA are you from?
Is that enough to keep you sober? If not, there's an answer - sounds like you already know what it is.
What part of LA are you from?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Originally Posted by YaDude
i know i need to get to the meetings but i'm always scared to hang out with new people who i don't know.
Welcome back, I hope you find whatever it takes to stay clean and sober.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
YaDude you said:
I can tell you that the people in the rooms will become REAL friends if you let them. The more meetings you go to and the longer you go the more comfortable you will become. Notice I said REAL friends...... not drinking buddies!!! Call a drinking buddy at 3 in the morning and tell him a pipe broke in your house and you need some help, if he is sober he may come help you out, call a real friend and they will be there no matter what.
Want a dozen drinking buddies? Go to the nearest bar and buy a round for the house, they will be your buddy at least until you quit buying or the bar closes.
i'm always scared to hang out with new people who i don't know.
Want a dozen drinking buddies? Go to the nearest bar and buy a round for the house, they will be your buddy at least until you quit buying or the bar closes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by YaDude
thanks Tazman. i think its more of a fear of fitting in.
I mainly go to meetings in the south bay, but I did go to meetings for awhile in Pasadena, and there are some really good ones - lot's of people 'our' age (I am 34). Maybe go to a speaker meeting and just listen? If I recall correctly - there is a large speaker meeting on Friday nights at a middle school, they get upwards of 800 people each week (at least they did back in 2003 when I was going to it)...there is a list of Pasadena meetings here :Alcoholics Anonymous (A. A.) Meetings in Pasadena, California
One of the best things is that 99% of the people you meet have felt exactly the same way as you do (fear of going to meeting) - they will do their best to make you comfortable. One day - you will do the same for someone else...it works like that.
Silly Rabbit
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 956
i have to echo what sugerspun said... we walk through out fears to eventually show others how to walk through theirs. pretty awesome, when you think about it. and as far as fitting in goes, think about this - if all your favorite drinking buddies got sober, what would they be like? an AA meeting. go, have fun, LIVE your life!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
Hey Dude,
Can I make a suggestion? Try NA and AA. At NA, we treat alcohol as a drug too, so a lot of our addict members are actually alcoholics. We call everyone an addict that abuses alcohol or drugs, so you'd fit right in. In my area, there are a lot of cool younger folks at NA, too. Not that AA isn't cool. Try both, I did, and I just fit in better in NA
KJ
Can I make a suggestion? Try NA and AA. At NA, we treat alcohol as a drug too, so a lot of our addict members are actually alcoholics. We call everyone an addict that abuses alcohol or drugs, so you'd fit right in. In my area, there are a lot of cool younger folks at NA, too. Not that AA isn't cool. Try both, I did, and I just fit in better in NA
KJ
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 59
thanks for all the good advice guys. i think i'm going to try to go to a meeting tonight (even though my problem nights are on the weekend). i did go to a meeting about six months ago and received the big book and a book with all the meetings in my area. so thats no problem with finding the meetings.
i would be lying if i said i didn't have a good time at that meeting and there were a lot of people my age there. the meeting was on the larger side and everyone seem to know each other. so i felt a little out of place. but everyone was real nice. a cute girl even helped me to get the big book so that made me feel good. i wasn't trying to pick up on her but i'm just saying that it made me feel welcome.
i am just always so hard on myself. but i have to say the fact that everyone has the same goals about being sober as i do (as opposed to my friends who are great but they can drink normally without the problems i have) makes me almost excited to hang out with them.
i would be lying if i said i didn't have a good time at that meeting and there were a lot of people my age there. the meeting was on the larger side and everyone seem to know each other. so i felt a little out of place. but everyone was real nice. a cute girl even helped me to get the big book so that made me feel good. i wasn't trying to pick up on her but i'm just saying that it made me feel welcome.
i am just always so hard on myself. but i have to say the fact that everyone has the same goals about being sober as i do (as opposed to my friends who are great but they can drink normally without the problems i have) makes me almost excited to hang out with them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 59
ok just an update. after not going to a meeting in a very long time i went to one tonight. it really helped me and i'm going to go back on saturday (big problem day for me).
i was going to share tonight but i didn't get a chance to cause we ran out of time. but i do feel real good that i went
i was going to share tonight but i didn't get a chance to cause we ran out of time. but i do feel real good that i went
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I always feel better, and stronger, after my home group meeting, or any meeting really. :ghug Just having a room full of people from all walks of life with the same problem as me! They understand me before I even come in the door.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Dude that is really awesome!!!
Now if you want to make friends and feel like you fit in better, go to the meeting 1/2 to 45 minutes before it starts and help set up the chairs and tables, trust me the folks doing the set up will be EXTRA happy you are there.
If the folks who do set up in your area are like a lot of the folks who set up in my area, a lot of them will be fairly new to AA so you will be able to relate to each other better. Another good thing about helping set up is the folks setting up usually have sponsors and can help you learn what a sponsor is and suggest folks to ask to be your temporary sponsor.
When I first got sober my counselor told me before I got out of detox to spend as much time on my recovery as I did drinking and I would stand a chance. Well I drank everyday so I could not go to that many meetings, so I went to as many meetings as I could every day for over 3 months and I still struggled early on.
Meetings vary from 1 to 1 1/2 hours so if you spend as many hours a week as you did drinking you will do better then I did, I drank to often and for many hours daily, there was no way I could have equaled my AA time to my drinking time, but I can tell you that early on if I had not done a meeting minimum per day and had a sponsor I would have never stayed sober.
AA works if you work it.
Now if you want to make friends and feel like you fit in better, go to the meeting 1/2 to 45 minutes before it starts and help set up the chairs and tables, trust me the folks doing the set up will be EXTRA happy you are there.
If the folks who do set up in your area are like a lot of the folks who set up in my area, a lot of them will be fairly new to AA so you will be able to relate to each other better. Another good thing about helping set up is the folks setting up usually have sponsors and can help you learn what a sponsor is and suggest folks to ask to be your temporary sponsor.
When I first got sober my counselor told me before I got out of detox to spend as much time on my recovery as I did drinking and I would stand a chance. Well I drank everyday so I could not go to that many meetings, so I went to as many meetings as I could every day for over 3 months and I still struggled early on.
Meetings vary from 1 to 1 1/2 hours so if you spend as many hours a week as you did drinking you will do better then I did, I drank to often and for many hours daily, there was no way I could have equaled my AA time to my drinking time, but I can tell you that early on if I had not done a meeting minimum per day and had a sponsor I would have never stayed sober.
AA works if you work it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 59
the one thing kind of bothered me was the kids that have to be there because of court because i was there once when i 18 and didn't care about being sober. i felt like they were just there because they had to.
but i loved how some of the experienced guy mentioned that while sharing their stories and was reaching out to them saying how everyone has been there. and if you have a court card, you could be heading down a bad road.
so i felt good
but i loved how some of the experienced guy mentioned that while sharing their stories and was reaching out to them saying how everyone has been there. and if you have a court card, you could be heading down a bad road.
so i felt good
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I used to think the court ordered folks were a waste of time until I heard folks share that years before they got sober they were court ordered and that planted a seed for when they really needed/wanted to get sober.
A friend of mine in the program has just over 2 years and he was court ordered.
A friend of mine in the program has just over 2 years and he was court ordered.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
