Music as a Trigger
Computer Surgeon
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 124
Music as a Trigger
No, I'm not talking about our member Music here @ SR 
I'm talking about music in general. Certain songs, bands, albums... It upsets me that these are major triggers for me. I'd like to enjoy these songs without feeling the desire to swill a beer or throw back a shot.
It's getting better; I'm @ 80 days sober today and my obsession with drinking is slowly going away as I work the steps and read the BB, but music is still probably my biggest trigger. Weird.
Just wanted to vent.
I'm talking about music in general. Certain songs, bands, albums... It upsets me that these are major triggers for me. I'd like to enjoy these songs without feeling the desire to swill a beer or throw back a shot.It's getting better; I'm @ 80 days sober today and my obsession with drinking is slowly going away as I work the steps and read the BB, but music is still probably my biggest trigger. Weird.
Just wanted to vent.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
I can relate. I used to play certain songs on the jukebox at the bar I used to hang out at--so at certain times...hearing those same songs can trigger old memories...plus, I'm just now getting back into going to concerts again. I'm looking forward to it--but at the same time have thought about previous experiences--with drinking/going to shows. I know that I don't have to drink today to have fun--or to feel a part of something. If I think I can't handle it when the time comes--well, I simply won't go--its not worth losing my sobriety>the price of a concert ticket. Hang in there...it will get better with time! :ghug2
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I am a musician and I 'study' this topic.
I perform a huge variety of songs in front of NA/AA audiences, suggesting that as they listen to a song they think about how the song relates to RECOVERY.
Pick a song that may make you think about using, concentrate on the words, and think about how the words and music relate to RECOVERY. Resist thoughts of how the song may relate to using, or past instances of using when you heard the song.
I firmly believe that you will be able to totally change the way the song effects you. I really believe we each must consciously allow our minds to 'drift back' to thoughts of using when we hear certain music, and I believe we can avoid this 'drift' by thinking about recovery instead. Soon your mind will eliminate the using thoughts when you hear the song.
Soon your mind will eliminate all using thoughts when you hear ANY song, because you train your mind to relate songs to recovery.
(Note: I began studying this topic because I was convinced there were certain songs I could not bear to hear due to memories of using. Now I think my past thoughts were bull - I consciously CHOSE to have the songs make me think about using.)
GREAT topic. I'll enjoy reading everyone's thoughts.
I perform a huge variety of songs in front of NA/AA audiences, suggesting that as they listen to a song they think about how the song relates to RECOVERY.
Pick a song that may make you think about using, concentrate on the words, and think about how the words and music relate to RECOVERY. Resist thoughts of how the song may relate to using, or past instances of using when you heard the song.
I firmly believe that you will be able to totally change the way the song effects you. I really believe we each must consciously allow our minds to 'drift back' to thoughts of using when we hear certain music, and I believe we can avoid this 'drift' by thinking about recovery instead. Soon your mind will eliminate the using thoughts when you hear the song.
Soon your mind will eliminate all using thoughts when you hear ANY song, because you train your mind to relate songs to recovery.
(Note: I began studying this topic because I was convinced there were certain songs I could not bear to hear due to memories of using. Now I think my past thoughts were bull - I consciously CHOSE to have the songs make me think about using.)
GREAT topic. I'll enjoy reading everyone's thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Oh! how i can relate to that !
When I first got sober, i was exactly the same! while drinking I could cry up a storm to country and western, or ballads, and the feelings were always ones of self pity .
Now that I am futher away from my last drink, I actually "use" this music, to "feel" and have a cry .
i have always prided myself on "never crying", and it wasnt until I did my 4th step with my sponser, that i began to actually "feel" feelings sober. i was very confused, i could not "feel" anything
she , my sponser, advised me to put on the music to help me , and to give myself permission to feel, but also to have a time limit . eg OK I am sad, I will be sad for 30 mins, and have a good cry, then I will get on with it .
it works for me, i can cry up a storm, and feel relieved and cleansed after 30 mins
it will get better for you , i had to avoid music for a couple of years
HUGX
Leigh
When I first got sober, i was exactly the same! while drinking I could cry up a storm to country and western, or ballads, and the feelings were always ones of self pity .
Now that I am futher away from my last drink, I actually "use" this music, to "feel" and have a cry .
i have always prided myself on "never crying", and it wasnt until I did my 4th step with my sponser, that i began to actually "feel" feelings sober. i was very confused, i could not "feel" anything
she , my sponser, advised me to put on the music to help me , and to give myself permission to feel, but also to have a time limit . eg OK I am sad, I will be sad for 30 mins, and have a good cry, then I will get on with it .
it works for me, i can cry up a storm, and feel relieved and cleansed after 30 mins
it will get better for you , i had to avoid music for a couple of years
HUGX
Leigh
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
This brings up memories of an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 - this very topic was a big subject of debate between Dylan and a guy from his treatment facility.
Somthing about a Rolling Stones hat...
Anyhow - I can relate. Though today it is no longer a problem. There isn't anything I avoid because I think it will lead to drinking again.
Somthing about a Rolling Stones hat...
Anyhow - I can relate. Though today it is no longer a problem. There isn't anything I avoid because I think it will lead to drinking again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
David Allen Coe. I don't even think I've listened to any of his music since I have been sober.
Back in "the day" I used to listen to one of his albums when drinking with my drinkin buddies. The album was the one you can't buy in stores. Some of you may know the one I'm speaking of.
Tom
Back in "the day" I used to listen to one of his albums when drinking with my drinkin buddies. The album was the one you can't buy in stores. Some of you may know the one I'm speaking of.
Tom
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
I have been a huge music lover since my first Kiss record in 1978. It is quite natural for me to associate certain bands, albums, and songs with different periods & events in my life. For a long time, I could not listen to certain music without the self-disgust & guilt rising in me (eg. The songs I heard during my last bender). Other music would remind me of partying with the boys and I could feel the obsessive thoughts trying to take hold. Either way, not good for my sobriety.
Oddly, it was my step 4 & 5 work that helped me disassociate certain music with drinking triggers. My old guilt & resentments lost their power over me. I can now enjoy any music I want to.
In addition, I can go to concerts now and totally enjoy myself. I actually started going to concerts sober before my sobriety date (during prior attempts to quit). What helped me was looking at the crowd and realizing that 95% of the people were sober and many were not drinking at all. And to see that odd person totally drunk, restrained by security guards, falling into other people, falling down in the washroom, spilling beer everywhere – red greasy face, bloodshot eyes, totally out of it – well, that used to be me.
As soon as I walk into the venue, I grab a coffee. I also make sure that I have at least one person who is not drinking with me. I have this personal policy for going to parties, restaurants, concerts, barbeques, etc. – if people are going to be getting drunk and I know I won’t enjoy myself then count me out. Really, why bother?
Oddly, it was my step 4 & 5 work that helped me disassociate certain music with drinking triggers. My old guilt & resentments lost their power over me. I can now enjoy any music I want to.
In addition, I can go to concerts now and totally enjoy myself. I actually started going to concerts sober before my sobriety date (during prior attempts to quit). What helped me was looking at the crowd and realizing that 95% of the people were sober and many were not drinking at all. And to see that odd person totally drunk, restrained by security guards, falling into other people, falling down in the washroom, spilling beer everywhere – red greasy face, bloodshot eyes, totally out of it – well, that used to be me.
As soon as I walk into the venue, I grab a coffee. I also make sure that I have at least one person who is not drinking with me. I have this personal policy for going to parties, restaurants, concerts, barbeques, etc. – if people are going to be getting drunk and I know I won’t enjoy myself then count me out. Really, why bother?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
I pretty much still listen to all my favorite music except for George Thorogood. It's too hard to listen to "I drink alone". That was me and where my drinking took me at the end. I don't want to go back there.
Barb
Barb
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
As a big part of my fun drinking was in Jazz nightclubs featuring
Getz...Peterson..Washington...Fitzgerald...Lewis.. .Williams..etc
Playing Jazz music at home made
me miss the good times too much..
My only reoccuring drunk dream
even took place in NYC's Bird Land.
...kinda miss the dream.
I'm with Leigh and Don...after AA Steps 4 & 5
I have not had a problem listening to Jazz
Tommy...how interesting ..thanks for sharing
What music do I associate with recovery?
My childhood church music appeals to me again.
However...I've always preferred classical music
drunk or sober.
Just now I have Bruchs Violin Concerto on.
Thanks MP...
Getz...Peterson..Washington...Fitzgerald...Lewis.. .Williams..etc
Playing Jazz music at home made
me miss the good times too much..
My only reoccuring drunk dream
even took place in NYC's Bird Land.
...kinda miss the dream.I'm with Leigh and Don...after AA Steps 4 & 5
I have not had a problem listening to Jazz
Tommy...how interesting ..thanks for sharing
What music do I associate with recovery?
My childhood church music appeals to me again.
However...I've always preferred classical music
drunk or sober.
Just now I have Bruchs Violin Concerto on.
Thanks MP...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Born in Long Island NY/Mtns of N.C Is my home now
Posts: 405
Yeah , brings back thoughts for me when drinking was fun i thought,but also brings back very very bad thoughts of drinking and what it has done to me and people close to me. I still play and listen to all the music , never thought of it as a trigger to drink for me, but i could be wrong .......Thanks for bringing it up maybe i need to look at it closer.
Take care,
John
Take care,
John
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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In the 70's & 80's I used a lot while listening to the song 'Hotel California'. The song became an 'anthem' of sorts for every bar, nightclub, and beer joint I ever frequented, every bender I ever went on, like they're all the same but different, and like you can check out but you can never leave.
Then a few years ago I listened to 'Hotel California' some more, with a different mindset, and now the song relates totally to recovery, being clean & sober, and how my new 'state of being' is my choice, my goal, my lifelong pursuit. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I'm in recovery.
The part "... relax said the nightman, we are programmed to receive, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave..." especially reminds me of rehab – a part of me will always be there in rehab. Comforting.
Listen to a song that made you want to use, relate the words to your recovery and the 'here & now' of your life. We are different people now, in a different time. The past is gone, welcome to right now.
Enjoy the music...!
Then a few years ago I listened to 'Hotel California' some more, with a different mindset, and now the song relates totally to recovery, being clean & sober, and how my new 'state of being' is my choice, my goal, my lifelong pursuit. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I'm in recovery.
The part "... relax said the nightman, we are programmed to receive, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave..." especially reminds me of rehab – a part of me will always be there in rehab. Comforting.
Listen to a song that made you want to use, relate the words to your recovery and the 'here & now' of your life. We are different people now, in a different time. The past is gone, welcome to right now.
Enjoy the music...!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Born in Long Island NY/Mtns of N.C Is my home now
Posts: 405
I was a studio musician and had lots of band offers , coulda been somebody,you know ?
Drinking killed it ALL, still play the guitar but, mostly cry anymore when i play the 80's rock/metal ..Thanks alcohol
Take care,
John
Drinking killed it ALL, still play the guitar but, mostly cry anymore when i play the 80's rock/metal ..Thanks alcohol
Take care,
John
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,861
I can tell you that through the freedom of the steps I have no triggers from music. I too am a musician, I have played in a variety of public venues ( Bars mostly) I have gone to see bands perform in recovery ( Slayer/ Drop Kick Murphy's- Lots of hardcore!) Drinking has never been a problem as long as I had the steps. The tenth step promise ( pg 84-85) has come true for me, it can for as well!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,861
Hey problem child, I pissed them all away too! I got real close a few times out there, then sabotoge set in! I regretted it for years in sobriety. Not today, I do not regret the past, nor do I wish to shut the door on it. I have come close once in sobriety but it did not happen. A good friend of mine was blessed with a ten year run as a struggling musician, almost making it. I just moved to a new area, have a two car garage ( Band room???) And am looking for some locals to jam with. It ain't over till its over
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Out on the road today, I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac.
A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back."
None of us can know what could have been or what would have been.
We're alive in the here and now, so be grateful (I sure am).
A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back."
None of us can know what could have been or what would have been.
We're alive in the here and now, so be grateful (I sure am).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
my first recovery song was Steve Winwood's, "Higher Love".
all other music before that song and my sobriety s pretty much the blurred soundtrack to a bad movie.
but once I stopped using substance and alcohol AND I entered AA recovery, I heard that beatiful song. It rocked my world, still does.
all other music before that song and my sobriety s pretty much the blurred soundtrack to a bad movie.
but once I stopped using substance and alcohol AND I entered AA recovery, I heard that beatiful song. It rocked my world, still does.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
You know when I was drinking I listened to Country and Western music because I could relate to it, a whole lot of drinking songs!!!!
I was glad to hear I am not the only one that due to the steps and sobriety now hear recovery in almost every one of the songs I used to hear "drinking" in.
I really feel that if our head is in a recovery mode we hear recovery, if we are in a drinking mode we hear drinking.
I was glad to hear I am not the only one that due to the steps and sobriety now hear recovery in almost every one of the songs I used to hear "drinking" in.
I really feel that if our head is in a recovery mode we hear recovery, if we are in a drinking mode we hear drinking.
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