Texasblind

So I'll be able to say 6 months soon (Yay me!), but I had become very discouraged with the program. I had been attending a meeting with a lot of old, cranky guys who were mad because they had to be there and couldn't drink. Sobriety was tough as hell there. Nobody my age and nobody with my story.

I said enough and called the local office and I explained my feelings. They sent me to a new meeting yesterday which was everything you all have said it would be. A guy took me out afterward for coffee and continued the conversation. I've never had anyone even introduce themselves. Suffice it to say, it was an extremely different experience.

What I learned...if you hate AA, try a different meeting. It might just be the wrong group of people vs. the right ones.

Pass, no more gushing.

Astro

Exactly! Over the last few years I've found a few that suit me perfectly, and others that don't have what I want. Different strokes for different folks, right?

I'm happy to hear you found one that you like. Gush away, it's inspirational to the newcomers!

Tommyh

who says we alcoholics don`t like change?

Anna

That's a great post.

I'm so glad that you are pusuing your recovery and that you've found a group you're comfortable with.

Taking5

Great post. Everyone disillusioned with AA ought to read this. I'm just afraid that there are too many groups like this and too many newcomers that leave and never come back.

Jfanagle

There were a lot of bars that I didn't like, but that NEVER kept me from trying SEVERAL others until I found one that worked JUST FINE!

It worked for Goldilocks with those three bears, there is always one that is JUST RIGHT!!

Jon

gravity

You made me realize that I have to be grateful for the meetings I attend - a real mixed bag of alcoholics, kind of informal, relaxed. I actually had a similar experience. Attended a different meeting once and it was mostly older, sullen looking guys. The young people sounded nervous when they were sharing. Nothing against the older, sullen looking guys by the way - they were the ones with 10+ years of sobriety and no doubt I did learn from them (even the angry one). I aspire to be an old sober guy some day (just hopefully not angry ).

CarolD

In early recovery....I lived in D.C.
so there were many daily meetings.

...I had a weekly schedule and rotated for variety.
I did settle into a home group ...but continued to explore.

I'm sooo glad you found your AA home!
Blessings

Texasblind

I appreciate all the comments guys. I'm very happy with a new group. I'm going again tonight and it will be the first time since 2005 that I've gone to back to back meetings. I was actually invited back! I know some of you might take that for granted in your meetings, but it's never happened to me.

I guess what I meant to say was these guys (before) were angry at everything. They were mad at the world, mad they couldn't drink, mad they were at a meeting. It was very hard for a new recover-er to stay positive.

Again, lesson is: Call the local office and talk to whomever picks up the phone. He/She will help. I'm so grateful.

Tazman53

Tex thank you, you have done a great service to me and many others sharing your initial discouragement and then the solution you found!!!

I have been very lucky, when I first got out of detox they gave me a meeting schedule for my area, every meeting I was going to for many months was full of fantastic people that loved me and I them.

I have heard of groups like you describe, these groups from what I have heard are not really AA, they are simply a group of crotchity old timers that have forgotten that the life blood of AA is the newcomer.

Maybe they should try working the program!!! LOL I found happiness in the rooms and the program.

PaulL

Hey, thanks for bashing us "cranky old guys"!

;-)

problemchild

6 mo's soon, thats great Glad you did not give up on the meetings...

Oh yeah , when are they gonna finish all that construction in Alb?? That 45 mph zone scares the crap outta me:wtf2

sugErspun

The great thing here, is that if you have the experience behind the practice of the 12 steps - you can carry that message back to your 'old' meeting and share with these guys (aka spiritual awakening).

It has been my experience that I attended many groups/meetings that I disliked for a multitude of reasons (even the grumpy old men type, or the young and 'not serious' types), then I found a group that I liked, connected with, felt a part of.

Now, when I go back to the meetings I once 'hated' they don't get to me so much, I have something more to bring than just my body and opinions... I have an experience and new mind, just so happens that it validates what the book states would happen...

Texasblind

Didn't you know? Never. That's the local joke here. The construction will never be finished. The Coors/I-40 exchange has been under construction for 20+ years. They're always doing something to it.

Texasblind

Don't anybody get me wrong, I've got nothing against any of those guys. Here's the thing...90% of them were ordered there by the judge. They were mad that they had to 90/90. All the shares were always about how "evil" the DUI laws are and how unfair it is that they were forced to attend meetings. Everyone split for the door the second the chair was done. I may agree that the DUI laws need serious overhauls, but a meeting is not the place I want to discuss that.

Here's a story/share: There was a guy with one of those alcohol ankle bracelets on and you could tell the day he got it off, he was gonna drink and drive again. He never shared, never read during study meetings, never did anything but sit in the corner and shake. And he was there when I got there, so I know he had more sobriety than me. I only ever wished him to be happy. I thought it only works if you work it? It hurt to see him not work it, because he seemed like a good guy.

I didn't want to give up on the program, but I read the posts here and read about what a great, loving, friendship-based experience it is. Mine wasn't like that. That's what led me to call the office.

I want to stay happy, focused and positive. I didn't want to be dragged down into that hate. It's only by the absolute grace of the HP I never had a legal problem while I was drinking. I don't think any less of the guys who do, in fact, I think they're brave. The jail stories actually affect me greatly because I realize how lucky I was. I just couldn't handle the negativity.

tommyk

I liked the example of comparing different AA meetings to different bars.

It made me think of how I hated some bars, and loved some others, but the common denominator was alcohol.

Well I guess we can hate some meetings and love some other meetings, but the common denominator is sobriety/recovery.

I have been to some meetings where there was a negative 'vibe' and I didn't feel comfortable, thank God I tried some other meetings too.