day by day
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by barb dwyer 
well, GBL ...
a teensy bit of advice since I *do* know the story then,,,
might want to get the drinking thing handled before the wife startes buying the beer ...
because she doesn't WANT you in the bed any more.
been there.
did that.
bought a bigger bed.
chapter number three ... closed.
just a hint for ya.
incentive.
a teensy bit of advice since I *do* know the story then,,,
might want to get the drinking thing handled before the wife startes buying the beer ...
because she doesn't WANT you in the bed any more.
been there.
did that.
bought a bigger bed.
chapter number three ... closed.
just a hint for ya.
incentive.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Hey GBL
I am SO GLAD I read your post. Well, actually as I was reading I'm thinking... this guy searched the posts and posted my freaking story!!!!
It was a little too eery how much similarity our stories have. I was a daily beer drinker. 12 pack was always the starter (and the limiter, if I had a presentation or early morning next day).... I just gave a talk a couple of months ago at an AA meeting, and much of it revolved around that common thread that I was a "functional" alcoholic. Looking back -- functioning on what level? When I bottomed out, I still had the cars, house, family, job, etc. I was still marketable -- heck, I changed jobs and actually moved into a nicer job -- so how could I be an alcoholic?
But I noticed something different about my drinking. The time I spent sober compared to the time I spent drunk (or even a little drunk) started to change. I would leave work a little earlier to have more drinking time... I would start earlier on the weekends.... For me, I started mixing prescription meds with my beers -- Percocet, Ambien, Vicodin -- ANYTHIN'! and found a new high (or low, depending how you look at it.)...
Then I started taking all of those silly online tests about being an alcoholic. Huh, I passed (failed) every one with FLYING colors! I knew I was an alcoholic. I went to AA. I spent a year and a half trying to convince myself I was not a drunk. In and out -- watching my disease progress, my drinking get worse, my health deteriorate and life becoming more and more of a blur....
One day -- I just could not take anymore. I had to surrender -- imagine, surrendering to WIN! That was where I took Step One -- I FINALLY and 100% admitted that I was Powerless over alcohol -- once that stuff got into my body, I could not stop drinking it. I also was powerless because my thinking led me to drinking every day.
SO -- in AA I have found a solution which will solve my problem. I practice the program presented in a book called Alcoholics Anonymous, through a Program of Alcoholics
Anonymous, in a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Today I am sober... and can live life that way. You can too....
Please let me know if you need anything --
NoMoBeer
I am SO GLAD I read your post. Well, actually as I was reading I'm thinking... this guy searched the posts and posted my freaking story!!!!
It was a little too eery how much similarity our stories have. I was a daily beer drinker. 12 pack was always the starter (and the limiter, if I had a presentation or early morning next day).... I just gave a talk a couple of months ago at an AA meeting, and much of it revolved around that common thread that I was a "functional" alcoholic. Looking back -- functioning on what level? When I bottomed out, I still had the cars, house, family, job, etc. I was still marketable -- heck, I changed jobs and actually moved into a nicer job -- so how could I be an alcoholic?
But I noticed something different about my drinking. The time I spent sober compared to the time I spent drunk (or even a little drunk) started to change. I would leave work a little earlier to have more drinking time... I would start earlier on the weekends.... For me, I started mixing prescription meds with my beers -- Percocet, Ambien, Vicodin -- ANYTHIN'! and found a new high (or low, depending how you look at it.)...
Then I started taking all of those silly online tests about being an alcoholic. Huh, I passed (failed) every one with FLYING colors! I knew I was an alcoholic. I went to AA. I spent a year and a half trying to convince myself I was not a drunk. In and out -- watching my disease progress, my drinking get worse, my health deteriorate and life becoming more and more of a blur....
One day -- I just could not take anymore. I had to surrender -- imagine, surrendering to WIN! That was where I took Step One -- I FINALLY and 100% admitted that I was Powerless over alcohol -- once that stuff got into my body, I could not stop drinking it. I also was powerless because my thinking led me to drinking every day.
SO -- in AA I have found a solution which will solve my problem. I practice the program presented in a book called Alcoholics Anonymous, through a Program of Alcoholics
Anonymous, in a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Today I am sober... and can live life that way. You can too....
Please let me know if you need anything --
NoMoBeer
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 15
Thanks NoMoBeer... The more I hear about how many people have the same story as I do, the more encouraged I am that I can make it.
I've mixed the beer and vicodin a couple of times myself, stoooopid huh?
I understand what you are saying about AA, not sure I am ready to go down that path. I have a lot of patching up to do with Him...long story. I have been reading on the SMART website though.
I've mixed the beer and vicodin a couple of times myself, stoooopid huh?
I understand what you are saying about AA, not sure I am ready to go down that path. I have a lot of patching up to do with Him...long story. I have been reading on the SMART website though.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
No worries, just remember AA is not about religion -- our Higher Power is "how you understand Him" at this point in your life. For some folks the Higher Power is kind of an "essence," or some folks use the group as a Higher Power. My feeling is that I am forgiven by God (believe me, God isn't the only one I had to patch things up with!)...
Your post made me think of a song. OK, I'm in my 40s and I like this band "Relient K" -- they have a song called "I So Hate Consequences," and one section of lyrics goes like this:
"When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, “I miss you son. Come home”
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was more
The love I’d wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told you so’s
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you"
That says it all for me... God never told me "I told you so, Ken..." He still doesn't do that, and I mess up PLENTY!!!!
Listen, whatever path you take -- it's up to you, but just do the work it takes to stay sober, and you can stay sober.
....here if you need me.
ken
Your post made me think of a song. OK, I'm in my 40s and I like this band "Relient K" -- they have a song called "I So Hate Consequences," and one section of lyrics goes like this:
"When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, “I miss you son. Come home”
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was more
The love I’d wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told you so’s
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you"
That says it all for me... God never told me "I told you so, Ken..." He still doesn't do that, and I mess up PLENTY!!!!
Listen, whatever path you take -- it's up to you, but just do the work it takes to stay sober, and you can stay sober.
....here if you need me.
ken
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
GBL SMART or AA, either will work if you work them, follow all of the suggested program.
In regards to "I have a lot of patching up to do with Him", in AA it is a matter of becoming spiritual, not religous........ I know a lot of folks that have gotten spiritual and found religion, I know folks who have found religion and in AA learned how to be spiritual, I also personally know agnostics who have gotten spiritual and never got religion, there are also athiest who have found sobriety in AA, so if some one or something has you beleiveing that AA is religous, I can tell you from first hand experience that if AA were religous I would still be a drunk today.... or dead.
Do not get me wrong, there are religous people in AA, but there tend to be a lot more agnostics and folks like me with a sprinkling of athiest mixed in.
Check out the sticky at the top of this forum for other recovery programs and find one that will work for you.
In regards to "I have a lot of patching up to do with Him", in AA it is a matter of becoming spiritual, not religous........ I know a lot of folks that have gotten spiritual and found religion, I know folks who have found religion and in AA learned how to be spiritual, I also personally know agnostics who have gotten spiritual and never got religion, there are also athiest who have found sobriety in AA, so if some one or something has you beleiveing that AA is religous, I can tell you from first hand experience that if AA were religous I would still be a drunk today.... or dead.
Do not get me wrong, there are religous people in AA, but there tend to be a lot more agnostics and folks like me with a sprinkling of athiest mixed in.
Check out the sticky at the top of this forum for other recovery programs and find one that will work for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 15
Ken - Wow, I checked out Relient K and listened to that song...I like!! thanks for turning me on to them. You're right, that is a powerful lyric, I appreciate you sharing.
Like I said to Taz, I appreciate the differnent perspective on AA, I will keep it in mind.
Thanks again to all, if for nothing else, just for posting to me and being there...
Like I said to Taz, I appreciate the differnent perspective on AA, I will keep it in mind.
Thanks again to all, if for nothing else, just for posting to me and being there...
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
GBL what is the worse that could happen? Honestly!
You go to some meetings, you decide "This is a crock!" and you don't go back, or you keep going?
No one takes roll, you sign nothing, you do not have to say a word, just sit and listen.
WHo knows, you may find what I and millions of others have how to live life on lifes terms sober and happy.
You go to some meetings, you decide "This is a crock!" and you don't go back, or you keep going?
No one takes roll, you sign nothing, you do not have to say a word, just sit and listen.
WHo knows, you may find what I and millions of others have how to live life on lifes terms sober and happy.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 24
Hey GBL - this forum has a lot of great advice and support. My story is a little different from your story, but the end result is the same. I haven't been sober for that long, but I'll add my 2 cents.
I was/am a little paranoid about others and what they think (I still avoid some situations – like the Thursday night after-work events). I go into panic mode and think about what's going to happen Memorial Day, what's going to happen 4th of July, what’s going to happen when I go to Spain for 2 weeks. My substance abuse counselor just put it so simple (as did everyone here), really focus on what am I going to do today to stay sober/not drink. So, it’s now Memorial Day, 27 days later, and I'm not that freaked out about it. Point is - worry about today and tomorrow worry about tomorrow, because when the actual event comes, it may be easier than you think to say no thanks. Of course, everyone's story is different, but that holds me together. When I try to talk myself into drinking, I just go back to the last time and go through the WHOLE experience and why I’m where I am today. You'll learn a lot about yourself and your friends (I’m just repeating what was told to me). My ah-ha moment was when I found I can have fun doing social events and not drink.
I can't advise on going to AA - I'm not anti-AA, I'm just trying to work through what's in my head with my counselor. As everyone encourages, you don’t have to do this alone – there are so many outlets for help!
Congratulations thus far and good luck this weekend!
I was/am a little paranoid about others and what they think (I still avoid some situations – like the Thursday night after-work events). I go into panic mode and think about what's going to happen Memorial Day, what's going to happen 4th of July, what’s going to happen when I go to Spain for 2 weeks. My substance abuse counselor just put it so simple (as did everyone here), really focus on what am I going to do today to stay sober/not drink. So, it’s now Memorial Day, 27 days later, and I'm not that freaked out about it. Point is - worry about today and tomorrow worry about tomorrow, because when the actual event comes, it may be easier than you think to say no thanks. Of course, everyone's story is different, but that holds me together. When I try to talk myself into drinking, I just go back to the last time and go through the WHOLE experience and why I’m where I am today. You'll learn a lot about yourself and your friends (I’m just repeating what was told to me). My ah-ha moment was when I found I can have fun doing social events and not drink.
I can't advise on going to AA - I'm not anti-AA, I'm just trying to work through what's in my head with my counselor. As everyone encourages, you don’t have to do this alone – there are so many outlets for help!
Congratulations thus far and good luck this weekend!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 15
Thanks for the advice Beach, and for sharing your story with me. I think you have some solid ideas. I will be leaving work here soon, and starting the holiday weekend. I am sober today, and plan to stay that way, we will see what tomorrow brings. Thanks again everybody for talking with me. I'll check back in on Monday.
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