tiburon88

I often wonder why one persons bottom might be losing a job while another persons bottom is homelessness. I heard a lead the other night where the speaker said that he still had his family, job, 2 cars ect.... when he entered AA. I was going to tell him after the meeting that you really aren't even a alcoholic to begin with. I know that would be wrong but I have a lot of resentment towards "high bottom" AA members. I have lost nearly everything while this character walks into AA with everything. I think it is a lot easier to stay sober when you have the bank account, the wife, the insurance,the license and automobile ect...... I walked out of that meeting early because I couldn't take it. This speaker even had the nerve to say that it was easy getting sober. I wanted to throw my 30 day sobriety chip at his head!

Tib

LosingmyMisery

Well, I was not a high bottom drunk and getting sober was not easy for me. Although I never was homeless, I lost several jobs, but the biggest loss was the loss of my self, my pride, my esteem and my soul. When I quit drinking, I was lucky to gain them back. I wasn't sure if it was possible, but it is. I'm very grateful for that.

CarolD

Hmm...
I did get fired from a job...and that is what I said would
be the catylist for my quitting. I began AA hours later.
However...
I consider my final bottom to be the crushing depression
that was my daily companion the last 3 years of my drinking.

IMO I had several bottoms at various times
but was unwilling to move forward into recovery.

You are so very young and there is so much ahead
for you to enjoy with sobriety.

BackToSquareOne

Boy that's an interesting topic, I know alcoholics all over the spectrum. The functional drunks amaze me the most, those that are drunk most of the time yet somehow manage to keep their jobs and families together and continue to drink. I knew some who drank themselves to death, others who lost everything and many like myself who have spent most of their life fighting the disease on and off. I would say the final bottom is death, many of us who live long enough experience many "bottoms".

laurie6781

My first few years sober I really did resent what was called back then the "High Bottom Drunk." They came into recovery with 'things and stuff' left. They still had a job. Maybe the family was still hanging in there, etc

It took me a few years to understand that it really was HARDER for them, they still had things and stuff and King Alcohol could use that against them in their mind.

Me I had nothing left, even died in the emergency, so I knew there was no where else to go, I was totally bankrupt in every area of my life, physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually, the steps were clear and I had no "ifs, ands, or buts" left.

I guess some of us are just more stubborn than others.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Pinkcuda

Bottom??? How the hell should I know. I kind of think it's one of the the biggest BS statements that swarms around the A.A. circles and other paths to sobriety.
Bottom tells me that bad things won't happen anymore once we quit and start working the steps. It couldn't be further from the truth and I hate to mislead anyone into thinking that.
Sober people lose their homes, their jobs, their families. Sober people lie, cheat and steal. And sober people hurt others just the same.
If it happened when you were drinking, the same things will happen when you're sober.
That's why I do A.A.! There is where we learn to deal with life as a sober person and quit leaning on Alcohol when life shiits on us.

NoMoBeer

My name is NoMoBeer, and I am a "high bottom" drunk...

Because I had a car(s), family, etc. when I came into AA does not make me less of an alcoholic, just better at holding my stuff together than most.

And sorry to correct you, but it is NOT easier to stay sober as a high bottom drunk. It was actually harder for me, because I could not admit to my inner most self I was an alcoholic.

See if any of these ring a bell:
1. Getting arrested (not DUI)
2. Puking -- before, during or after drinking (and still wanting more)
3. Falling down the stairs
4. Blacking out (daily)
5. Missing meetings on a business trip (but sly enough to make it look like a sick day)

I've done all of this and more... I have earned my seat in AA, whether I live in a house or a box.

I had to hit a bottom to stay sober.... my bottom was when I decided to quit digging. Many people continue to dig and dig until they lose their choice in the matter. Many never get into AA -- so if you are in AA, get busy, get to work, and take care of your own sobriety.

The two guys I just heard about in my local meetings -- who just killed themselves... I am not sure if they were high bottom or low bottom drunks. The sad part is that they were not recovered drunks....

A bottom is a bottom. Sobriety is sobriety. Keep it simple.

NMB

gravity

I lost my brother & uncle to alcoholism. That's the only "low" bottom I know of.

Everyone took a completely different path to the door of AA. We are all unique individuals. Just can't be compared let alone judged by what they "have" when they walk into the room.

Just my opinion.

serenityqueen

For me, my bottom was when I seriously considered death as the only thing that was left for me. I had already been to the jails and institutions. I had been in and out of AA/NA for 25 years. Although I wasn't homeless, I was spiritually, mentally,emotionally bankrupt. My financial situation was also a disaster. I owed money to everyone. The only reason I hadn't been kicked out of my apt. it that my landlord has a sister who is an alcoholic (still struggling today) and they were taught by their Church to never give up on someone. Although they were very close with me. The only Family Member who still spoke to me was my Mom and I think that was out of a sense of feeling like she had to, I was her daughter. My son was 16 at the time and living with his Father for several years due to not wanting to live with me and see me slowly killing myself. I would call him and he would talk for a minute or so, or shall I say I would cry, feeling sorry for myself. He found a reason to always get off the phone. (He tells me now that he saw that as his way to protect himself from further pain) I thought that God, if He really existed, had shut the door on me too. What did I have left? Death or one last try at this Sobriety thing. My last day using, I fell asleep literally screaming at God that if He really did exist, to either help me or let me die. Imagine, basically calling God out.

I know people, who got a DUI or their spouse threatend to leave and that was all it took for them. I would hear of people like this and I too would be mad. I was envious. I thought that it's not fair, that's all they had to loose and still, look at me, I just "couldn't get it' I never really thought of it like laurie said, they still had all of these things for alcohol to use as an example of how it wasn't that bad, look at what they still had.

Today, I look back and I'm glad that it took me that much hurt and pain to realize that I had to do something . . . or die.

Quote:

Sober people lie, cheat and steal. And sober people hurt others just the same.
If it happened when you were drinking, the same things will happen when you're sober.

That was part of the reply from pinkcuda. I have to disagree with that statement. I no longer lie, cheat or steal. I don't hurt people anymore. I did those things when I was using, yes. But now, being clean, sober and in Recovery, I no longer do that. Sure, I can loose a job, have a relationship end or loose my apt. but it wouldn't be as a result of my addiction. I'm not sure if that meant that it can still happen to someone who merely took the alcohol/drugs out of their system without working a program of Recovery or what? Kinda confused on that one.

God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy

Toomutch

I have a family, job, house and cars. No I havn't lost these things and I thank the Lord for that.
I did however lose respect, became a very good liar and a genious at manipulation. None of which I am proud of. I blacked out, fell and hurt myself and made made terrible choices and the list goes on.
I don't know why I didn't lose everything, maybe I should have. Maybe you are stronger than I am. The Lord will not give you more than you can handle.
I believe judging others can lead to predjudice, hate and resentments.
I suffer everyday from chronic pain. My life consists of work, chores and being mom. Somedays I cannot do anything. Yet when I go to the doctors office I do not have bad feelings for people that are there with a sore throat or a cold. I do not think to myself "why are they here, who are they kidding, they dont have it bad at all". We all have our own levels of pain.
Hitting bottom can mean anything from getting drunk one time as a teenager and being so sick that you never drink again to losing everything.
Sorry this post was so Long T, I care about you and would really like to know that you can go into AA with only your recovery in your mind.

TriHarder

Tiburon88--
Anyone's "Bottom" is irrelevant. Don't wait for yours or guess if you've hit it before getting sober. More importantly, it will be very difficult for you to get and stay sober so long as you are bitter about other people's relative situations. Own your own drunkedness. This is between you and the bottle...not a race to see who is the most unfortunate drunk among us. I, by the grace of God, never had any of the big crap land on me...but I still managed to waste many years of life, upset my wife, act a fool...all of which I regret deeply. Stay focused on YOU, and have some compassion for others by encouraging them, even if their lot in life seems rosier. Showing envy and contempt for sober alcoholics who didn't crash and burn is rather pathetic. Worse, getting angry at them (i.e. throwing chips at heads) is down-right sinful.
Get better and please be supportive of all recovering A's.

BackToSquareOne

I have to agree with most of what you said. Terrible things happen to people drunk or sober. Life is not fair period and anyone who thinks it is, is living in a fantansy world. Some of the worst things in my life occured while I was sober. Some people just get dealt a lousy hand from the deck of cards we call life while some seem to get all the aces. Does being sober mean that bad things will not happen?

tiburon88

I realize that I need to focus on my own bottom. I'm being maybe too honest discussing my resentments towards "high bottom" alcoholics. I also don't understand how someone can say they are a grateful alcoholic. I'm not grateful at all to have this horrible disease. Anyways thanks for listening to me.

Pinkcuda

It depends on what you value! You can have all the things in the world that money could buy. If you could somehow put a pricetag on your heart and soul I think it would be worth a lot more.

best

Tib

Those of us who say we are grateful are looking at what we have compared to where we were. When you pick up your year chip and look back over the year...you will see how much you have learned and how much your life has changed for the better. It is the learning and changes that I am grateful for.

The fear of gaining a bottom like others have been to was enough for me. Much more then what others have had for a bottom but so much less still then what even others had for a bottom.
I am grateful that my eyes opened when they did because when death comes knocking it would have been to late. Yes grateful for finding the path before then.

You will see the miracle happen and one day you will be showing up telling us how grateful you are as you share all that you have learned with us.

bob_sapp

I've been in a jail cell, lost friends, crashed cars, things of that nature but for me, my bottom was a feeling of emotional defeat. I lost the will to fight my drinking/addiction. I was too drained emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually to continue trying to control my drinking. I am just lucky that I never lost my life (or killed someone else) in a car accident, overdosed or got sent to prison. I know I came very close a number of times.

I stopped drinking/using at 22, but I hit some pretty low bottoms in that time. I see some people who drank/drugged/partied all the while pursuing a medical career or as a salesman and never lost their jobs or got divorced. I see people who had all that, and lost it because of drinking. Everyone has a different story, and often what you see or hear is just a small part of it. Yeah occasionally you see someone who is grandiose and makes it sound like getting sober was easy, and they have a wad of cash and the world by the balls, but what they say might be 90% BS you never know (alcoholics are liars and BS'ers you know...). Just focus on yourself and your recovery, your higher power will provide what you need for you.

40megatons

Man it completely amazes me how some people can stay pickled and not lose much or anything. However, the ones I know like that don't have much or anything to lose...except their life. I once had a higher bottom and then relapsed and relapsed and relapsed and so on. I know that I am capable of replacing money and things I once had and I also know I can't replace my life. Shawshank say "Get busy livin or get busy dyin". I'm feelin ya on the chip toss though only mine woulda been 24 hours and probably slipped outta my shaking hand! Peace.

caraway

Hi tiburon, I'm a grateful alcoholic. I am glad that I am alive. Everyone can find something in their life to be dissatisfied about and there are worse things than being an alcoholic IMO.
At my worst bottom, some years ago, I didn't lose a house, a car etc, but then I didn't have those things to lose in the first place! Materially I didn't have anything and I was in a very bad relationship. I'm just very fortunate that I didn't lose my children - I'm very lucky.
For me the lowthing about it was what was going on in my mind. For me, Hell is within, regardless of where I'm living. Fortunately Heaven is within too, and being a member of AA helps me find that heaven.

Signal30

Unfortunately some peoples bottoms are the bottom of a box in the ground. I think hitting you bottom means you get to the point where you are willing to do something about your drinking problem. I thank God I was able to hit my bottom rather early. I have to keep doing what I'm doing or I may have a future bottom to set.


Tom

AWEDA

Some have no bottom,
Death,I suppose is all that's left.
My AH went from making 65,000 dollars
to being homeless in a year and a half.
He had some of the best help available.
He is now banging herion in his arm.