least

I can relate to that Ananda. I didn't have much of a life when I started drinking. I'm not including my family, kids, dogs, friends, but I didn't have much self worth. I've been thinking about this question/topic and have decided that perhaps I was near the bottom already when I started to drink. Maybe that's why it didn't take long to go so far downhill. I was already near the bottom. The thing I had the least of, and which matters the most, is that I had no self worth. I wasn't worth much, to myself, therefore considered I had little to lose.

The self worth issues will always be with me. My doubt muscle is very well developed and in constant use. But after nearly losing the respect of my kids I realize I had more to lose than I thought. And now I'm working to earn that back.

The best definition I've read yet of a 'bottom' is the one that says your bottom is when you stop digging. I've hidden my shovel. Hope I never find it again.