RufusACanal

Years ago, I thought I was the Town Drunk. In my mind, I had to be the most recognizable figure associated with drunkenness in my hometown. I routinely glorified in my perceived position as the Lush of Wabash Ave. So pitiful a creature as me, who could ever know my pain. I was not unique in the downward spiral.

Hopelessness wears many guises for the Alcoholic. I was never the Town Drunk no matter how much I thought I was. I was really never as bad as that self conversation portrayed me as. Alcoholism demands complete and utter respect and devotion from those it enslaves. Alcoholism distorts all the elements of reality for the Drunk, both when actively consuming and when not.

Uniqueness is one of the most common traits we as Drunks bring into the rooms of AA. Each of us was in some way more unique than our fellows. Uniqueness is propelled by an ego that is bloated beyond proportion. Why if I can stay unique, I will be more different than anyone else and when I need attention, my uniqueness will shine for all to see. My uniqueness will keep you away when I need for no one to question my actions or my methods.

Uniqueness kills more Drunks than just about anything else. Think about how your uniqueness separates you from your family, friends and coworkers. Why is uniqueness so negative for the Drunk who wants a new life? With five billion people on the earth are you really ever unique?

LosingmyMisery

I think this realization comes with time and experience. “You are not unique” is thrown at us in words of anger when we first come into AA. At least it seemed angry to me, but my brain was moist from drink. I truly didn't understand the intent, but I do now. We all share the same common thread. We are alcoholics and we will go to any lengths to get that next drink. We lie, we disappoint, and we suffer by our own hand. The real question is are we willing to go to any length to quit?

No, today I understand I am not unique. I am me, an alcoholic, but a much better me for staying sober.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

I love this!

I used to think that I was the original party girl. There was no one alive who drank as much as me, nor slept with as many people as I did. There was pride associated with being such a bad girl. You know, the drunken bad girl with the heart of gold..amazing how we glamourize the alcoholism within us.

When I did my fifth step with my sponsor, not only did I find out that I didn't hold the record for knocking boots with inappropriate partners, but I was a pretty good girl deep down. What a relief not having to live up to that bad girl persona!

I'm just a girl from suburbia, and your regular garden variety alcoholic.

Thanks for the post!

Rob B

My neck of the woods has a lot of competition for the coveted title of Town Drunk, I did my best to take the prize, but I usually ended up winning town A$$hole.

LosingmyMisery

I was called the town drunk once. Let me explain. My ex-boyfriend called me that after I broke up with him. Although I did my best interpretation of the town drunk, there were a few others in the running. My response to his quip was, I may be the town drunk, but you are the village idiot. I can quit drinking, but you will always be stupid. Okay, I admit, not the best model behavior and it was a mean thing to say. But, after all, I was a sick person with sick thinking. I played the mean drunk quite well. I've evolved somewhat since those days. I did quit drinking and have dropped out of the drunken scene. Town drunk? Not a chance, not any more. Hmmmmm....I wonder is he is still...never mind. Better not go there.

CarolD

Since my alcoholism surfaced in D.C.
and I only had excessive drinkers for companions

No way was I unique....

:burns...Even in D.C. AA I was not
but I did become another recovery miracle...

barb dwyer

Man has OBVIOUSLY ... never been to Butte.

A 'character' among many .. but the 'town' drunk ...no way.

That job has been sewn up years before I got here.
I was simply the protoge' of the most popular bartender in history of late for butte.

chip

I can relate.

When I was drinking, I'd go through times when I thought I was really special. Other times I thought everyone hated me. Today, I realize most people don't spend much time thinking about me at all.

Unique? I was terminally unique. If I continued on my path, it would surely end in my demise. I HAD to drink because I was the almighty chip...if you were chip, you'd drink like me too. If you had my problems and my stresses, you'd understand. I deserved to drink like I did because I was the baddest guy around. I broke hearts. I deserved to smoke pot all day, everyday, because I was special. I gave people a reason to live. I used other people for my purposes because I was chip. I walked all over people because I was better than them. I showed others how to relax. I taught people how to party and let loose. I needed to drink to escape the pressures of being me. I needed to smoke pot to reach into my inner being and write music. I needed to get drunk because that's what guys in bands did. I couldn't stop drinking or smoking weed because thats who I was. I hated others because they were better than me. I hated myself because I wasn't good enough. I looked down on others when I saw myself in them. I was chip, why wouldn't I drink and use drugs? I couldn't imagine any other way of living. Why would I even consider something else? Nobody could ever tell me what to do...DON"T THEY KNOW WHO I AM???

This sounds crazy, and it is crazy. I was insane, and it's only in recovery that I've started to find sanity.

In recovery, I've become a drunk among drunks in AA. In recovery, I've become a worker among workers. In recovery, I've become human again.
chip

sobergirl77

Hahaha, you aren't from Nashua, are ya? (I did most of my serious drinking out there in Southern NH).

Pilgrim

I made friends with the town drunks and I was one of them. I don't live in a small town but when I got to where I got, the number of people I could really hang out with and who could drink like me were few. I knew they were alcohlics but it never occcurred to me I actually belonged with them because I was an alcoholic too. That realisation came later.

I actually used to think I was just being socially non judgmental. You know - sort of easy going live and let live. Like the opposite of a snob. I would be hanging around with what society would probably call the dregs but who I now realise are as sick as I was.

And when they admired how much I could drink, I was sure I was indeed unique.

Tazman53

Oh I was unique, I sat in my garage drinking alone and reading the newspaper, I solved all of the worlds problems in my garage!!! I looked down upon many people I read about in the newspaper, I despised those damn drunks I read about killing them selfs and other people driving drunk (Some how I would forget that the only time I did not drink and drive was when I was driving to work.)

When I got to AA I discovered I was not unique, I was a garden variety alcoholic.

I did have a nickname my wife found out in my old neighborhood I lived in before I sobered up. I was refered to as "The one armed man" because I always had a beer in one hand. My wife had gone back to the old neighbor hood to visit some friends of hers and mentioned I had sobered up and her friends told her that was thier nick name for me.

beingjenagain

No town drunk here!
For a while I hit my drinking wonderfully!! I would sit home all day drinking beer after beer (about 14 or so) then I some how was able to go out socially and not drink. I would run home after whatever event and start drinking straight away.
Well in the last year that all fell apart and i couldn't hardly stay sober through my 12 hour shift at work. So I just stopped going out and just sat home and drank all day and night and woke at 4am and had a beer to make me feel better.
My god...what a loser!!!

ClaudePepper77

i may not be the 'town drunk'...but im a drunk.

im too much of a f'ing coward to confront my problems so i turn to the drink instead.

trust me. i curse every sip i take. but in the end, i know it is my fault.

reed

Good thought provoking question. I, personally, think that we are all unique, being a regular ol' alkie or not.

Barto

Depended on what town I was in. LOL. But even in the big cities, I gave ‘em a run for their money. And I was definitely the drunkest of my partying buddies. I went downhill fast.

22NGONE

Hello,

I too suffered from terminal uniqueness, I'll never forget how amazed I was at my first meeting that there were all of these people who were saying things that sounded like my life. How did they know me?

I believe one of the greatest strengths of the AA program is it takes our perceived uniqueness, one of our greatest weaknesses and turns it into one of our greatest strengths. Everyone can draw from the program and tailor it to meet their unique needs to stay sober. I read in a pamphlet that AA is similar to giving 20 women the same cake recipe, you will end up getting 20 different cakes. That is because each lady will add or subtract based on her likes/needs and will end up with a different product. We tailor AA to our needs and succeed because of it. A program of sobriety that works for John may not work for Jim and conversely Jim's program may work for him but not for John.

I know now that I was in my own personal hell but it was not only I who was condemned to it. I am glad for my friends in Sobriety and for getting my life back. I'm glad that I finally admitted that I was one of the Town Drunks.

John

RufusACanal

In this thread about the Town Drunk, I am illustrating the need to continually look at the pitfalls of individual uniqueness. The Alcoholic newcomer’s greatest foe next to a drink is uniqueness; nothing separates an Alcoholic faster than being different. I love when a Drunk tells me I do not know who they are. Of course I know who there are if they are an Alcoholic; we Alcoholics are generic with a disease that affects the mind, body and soul for each of us; we are all garden variety Drunks one and all.
Understanding one another is one of our greatest assets. By understanding, we can support each other through the Steps to freedom.

Barto

Well then let me clarify. I didn’t set out to be the town drunk. I set out to be the second coming of Cary Grant. I fell short.

Of course in coming into AA, I found out there was a whole tribe of us.

RK2007

I agree with reed, I think we are all unique - nothing wrong with being unique, I quite like it - it's what makes us interesting as people to other people - if we were all the same I don't think I would bother leaving the house.

We all have different stuff to bring to the table, if we weren't unique sobriety would be easy - we could have a one-glove-fits-all recovery, but I personally don't think it works like that.

Alcoholism presents a unique set of challenges for each individual, and it's up to us as individuals to meet those challenges head on and grow as we overcome them.

Besides, there ain't another me.

RufusACanal

...and maybe it is semantics. Uniqueness in learning how to live free iin recovery is dangerous. There is nothing unique about the challenges each Alcoholic in recovery faces if they rely on the Power of a Greater Being and their friend's ESH. If you need to be unique, then you might want to inventory and speak to your Sponsor.