Day 21, almost 22... back on the mattress..
Fulldresser4
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Mid-Michigan
Posts: 531
Paulos, I am a frequent lurker but seldom post. You NEED to go to AA...you have not yet answered the question of how many AA meetings have you gone to? You sound like me in the beginning. I was afraid to go but you don't know how much help and love you will find. so will you answer it? Where in the USA are you? How many meetings have you been to?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
"You can only help a man, who wants to be helped." (Common sense)
Whether you have depression, alcoholism, or both, they are treatable. Sitting at home on a computer and taking various different types of medication obviously are not working.
Detox center.
Group therapy.
Any therapy.
Any type of therapy that gets you out of the house and gets you out of yourself will be better then being a hermit, disgruntled that your medications aren't working.
If you already are going to a physc doctor or a therapist and it's not working either be totally honest with them, or go to another doctor or therapist you feel you can communicate with.
From what I see, you seem to blow people off that suggest things you don't want to hear.
Change. If your life isn't working, you have to change you, and your actions. I don't know anything about you so I'm giving vague suggestions.
But the bulk of what I'm saying can apply to anybody. If you are this miserable, and have no control over your feelings and emotions to the point where you are a danger to yourself, then perhaps you should look into a inpatient program. I've struggled with depression my whole life. I had a horrible self-esteem, daily panic attacks, and many phobias. I went to MANY physiologists and therapists when I was younger. I wasn't completely honest with any of them, didn't take or stopped taking medications, and basically didn't do anything to change the way I was feeling. Then I started drinking, thinking alcohol would drown out any of my problems, and just ride out life comfortably numb. (Sorry didn't mean to quote Pink Floyd).
That didn't work either. When I drank I was simply knocking quietly at deaths door, and was probably not too far from suicide. I had a choice. Either keep doing what I was doing, or finally do something to change me.
For me it was AA. For you it can be something else that helps you get healthy in body and mind. But you have to do something if you want something done.
It's that simple.
Tom
Whether you have depression, alcoholism, or both, they are treatable. Sitting at home on a computer and taking various different types of medication obviously are not working.
Detox center.
Group therapy.
Any therapy.
Any type of therapy that gets you out of the house and gets you out of yourself will be better then being a hermit, disgruntled that your medications aren't working.
If you already are going to a physc doctor or a therapist and it's not working either be totally honest with them, or go to another doctor or therapist you feel you can communicate with.
From what I see, you seem to blow people off that suggest things you don't want to hear.
Change. If your life isn't working, you have to change you, and your actions. I don't know anything about you so I'm giving vague suggestions.
But the bulk of what I'm saying can apply to anybody. If you are this miserable, and have no control over your feelings and emotions to the point where you are a danger to yourself, then perhaps you should look into a inpatient program. I've struggled with depression my whole life. I had a horrible self-esteem, daily panic attacks, and many phobias. I went to MANY physiologists and therapists when I was younger. I wasn't completely honest with any of them, didn't take or stopped taking medications, and basically didn't do anything to change the way I was feeling. Then I started drinking, thinking alcohol would drown out any of my problems, and just ride out life comfortably numb. (Sorry didn't mean to quote Pink Floyd).
That didn't work either. When I drank I was simply knocking quietly at deaths door, and was probably not too far from suicide. I had a choice. Either keep doing what I was doing, or finally do something to change me.
For me it was AA. For you it can be something else that helps you get healthy in body and mind. But you have to do something if you want something done.
It's that simple.
Tom
Last edited by Signal30; 04-29-2008 at 05:12 PM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
What happened to your other avatar?? I love ya Paulos, but it seems you are eternally on day 22. Push through it....
Sobriety ******* sucks. It's no fun, but we have to push through it.
Sobriety ******* sucks. It's no fun, but we have to push through it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Paulos...
I was offering you a choice.
You said you were being attacked ...
and were going to the other Forum.
If you are displeased with our Alcoholism Forum
I can fix it so you will not be using it.
Just offering you an option....
it was not a threat.
I was offering you a choice.
You said you were being attacked ...
and were going to the other Forum.
If you are displeased with our Alcoholism Forum
I can fix it so you will not be using it.
Just offering you an option....
it was not a threat.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Originally Posted by Paulos 
You mean sobriety may never get better, tex?... So many people say it is better... perhaps in more time than 22 days I would say eh?..
I don't want to say that AA has fixed everything for me, but it has helped a lot.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
I believe it's simply a reaction out of frustration to some of these people that respond to his posts. I usually don't comment in his posts, but yesterday I gave the Best E.S.H. I could and gave suggestions that had nothing to do with AA. From what I see, a lot of us support him and want him to do something to help himself. Until he really wants help, the suggestions we post are meaningless.
As I stated in my previous post of he, or you paulos have depression, it is a disease or disorder, (I'm not a doctor), that can be treated. I have depression and have friends (alcoholic and non-alcoholic that have depression) and the ones that I see that are happy are those who are doing something about it. I'm sure there have been several people in here that have posted links that advise treatment for depression and/or other developmental disabilities.
Action = results.
Tom
As I stated in my previous post of he, or you paulos have depression, it is a disease or disorder, (I'm not a doctor), that can be treated. I have depression and have friends (alcoholic and non-alcoholic that have depression) and the ones that I see that are happy are those who are doing something about it. I'm sure there have been several people in here that have posted links that advise treatment for depression and/or other developmental disabilities.
Action = results.
Tom
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I think Toms posts, as a staunch AA guy.... he didnt push AA, are really the best posts there are on this thread.
Yes, Paulos you do need to do something different, even if its not explicitly recovery related, just something to change your routine and take you out of yourself a bit.
To the others who keep bringing up AA, Paulos has stated over and over again he is not interested, I am sure it says in the BB that if the person is not interested...move on? Or words to that effect.
And Taz, why do you keep posting that? It is coming across as taunting, like Bugs said.
Yes, Paulos you do need to do something different, even if its not explicitly recovery related, just something to change your routine and take you out of yourself a bit.
To the others who keep bringing up AA, Paulos has stated over and over again he is not interested, I am sure it says in the BB that if the person is not interested...move on? Or words to that effect.
And Taz, why do you keep posting that? It is coming across as taunting, like Bugs said.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: michigan
Posts: 92
I believe Taz is posting those words because of the historical respones Paulos gives to everyone that responds to his threads.
Paulos seems to want everyone to say, "Good Job and Poor Paulos"....nothing more, nothing less.
Whenever I see folks giving Paulos good solid advice that he does not want to consider, he resorts to name-calling and hateful responses.
Video games, a ******-spell-casting-grandfather, and a rope swing are probably not the ultimate ingredients for a home-based recovery program, but that's just my humble opinion.
I was never interested in trying broccolli until I tried it once and liked the taste.
Paulos has still never answered the many people that have asked if he has tried ANY type of structured recovery program, AA or otherwise.
Hell....I got some rope in the garage, with gas at 3.69 a gallon, why do I bother driving to meetings???
I'll just swing my troubles away.
A quick edit.....
Paulos, please listen to people, and at least try something different ONCE.
Everday, I pray for those of us still suffering...... that includes me, and includes you as well.
Paulos seems to want everyone to say, "Good Job and Poor Paulos"....nothing more, nothing less.
Whenever I see folks giving Paulos good solid advice that he does not want to consider, he resorts to name-calling and hateful responses.
Video games, a ******-spell-casting-grandfather, and a rope swing are probably not the ultimate ingredients for a home-based recovery program, but that's just my humble opinion.
I was never interested in trying broccolli until I tried it once and liked the taste.
Paulos has still never answered the many people that have asked if he has tried ANY type of structured recovery program, AA or otherwise.
Hell....I got some rope in the garage, with gas at 3.69 a gallon, why do I bother driving to meetings???
I'll just swing my troubles away.
A quick edit.....
Paulos, please listen to people, and at least try something different ONCE.
Everday, I pray for those of us still suffering...... that includes me, and includes you as well.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Some replies have been removed from this thread
It's not in the best interest of anyone
to be snide or mean spirited.
If you can't respond with your own experiences
in order to support another member
Please do not reply
Thanks Everyone
It's not in the best interest of anyone
to be snide or mean spirited.
If you can't respond with your own experiences
in order to support another member
Please do not reply
Thanks Everyone
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Thank you Ken for the most excellence post. Why is there a lot of flaming going on here, what is the deal? Just because we disagree does not give anyone permission to treat others with disrepect. Sending personal PM's that you are happy some folks are no longer posting in the 12 Step Forum and other forms of childish behavior is of no value to anyone. Best wishes to all!
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by Paulos
now I'm going off Risperdal and having some trouble with security, crying,etc ... it's amazing that I haven't drank through this tough time... my mom said I'm eating myself alive with my paranoias and my ocds but what am I supposed to do about it...?
I have no personal experience with "paranoias & ocds" but a very good friend of mine has successfully addressed his clinical depression by working very closely with a doctor & a psychiatrist. It took a while to find what was right for him but he kept at it. Today, he is very happy & successful in so many ways.
Again with no personal experience, it would be a pretty good guess that drinking will make the situation worse. Good work on putting together some sober time - it can only help. Perhaps talk to an alcohol counsellor about your specific circumstances (make a phone call and an appointment) and discuss a suitable recovery program.
Take care of yourself.
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