gravity

Part of the discussion at my last AA meeting was the fact that alcoholics who work through & live in accordance with the 12 steps and attend meetings rarely go back to drinking. At this meeting, the people that had been around the program for years confirmed that they had never seen anyone go back to drinking who did this.

I still have many step 9 amends to make but I have practiced 10, 11, & 12. I can honestly say I have practiced & lived all 12 steps! I find that the steps have helped me feel truly alive. I am re-energized spiritually, mentally, & physically. Still some guilt & forgiveness to work on but compared to the hell I was in 4 1/2 months ago...

While I did struggle with parts of the steps, it was a necessary process. At first, it was also tough to attend meetings - mainly the shame of admitting I was an alcoholic & others finding out that I attend AA (still some issues about people finding out but oh well! Suck it up time for me!). I do fully enjoy living my life in accordance with the steps. I enjoy attending meetings - friendship, listening, sharing, and helping. I enjoy meeting with my sponsor & I am honored to help, person to person, those who are struggling. This is the "price" I have to pay to stay sober?

It may sound like I am on a "pink cloud", that this feeling is only temporary. I don't think so. I think I have gotten to a place where I am not fighting who I am & I living the way I am meant to live.

I am not writing a commercial for AA. Just sharing where I am today on my path. What I am suggesting is that if you are considering AA as a recovery program, work hard at it. Ask questions, listen to others, don't give up before you get through the steps - give it a chance, give yourself a chance.

Don

Anna

I love to hear such a positive post Don!

I think you were absolutely right when you said part of it is accepting who you are. That was hard for me because my thinking was so messed up. I thought if I wasn't perfect, then I was nothing. In recovery, I have found out that no one is perfect and it's a good place to be.

ANGELINA243

Thank you Don for sharing so openly. The program does indeed work for those who work it. (I can say that because for awhile I truly wasn't living in the steps and doing everything I knew I was supposed to be doing. I kept going back out there--saying that the program didn't work--when in fact, it was me who wasn't working the actual program--I was just attending meetings and kind of working the steps with a sponsor.) I am in the program, yet again--actually working them the "right" way with sponsor (ie straight out of the book) and am already starting to feel the weight of the world starting to lift from my shoulders. The obsession to drink/use is gone. I still have good/bad days>but drinking is no longer an option for me. I have found a new way of life that is way better than what it was before--I just pray that I don't get complacent in my recovery and start taking it for granted. :ghug

CarolD

I think of my recovery as a triangle.
God...AA....Carol make for sucessful life.

Tazman53

Don you have crossed a magical point where it is no longer "I" it is "We". You have got it, just keep on working it. You brought a smile to my face.

Angelina that was an excellent post and trust me as I am sure you already know you are not the first, nor the last to find what you have found.

Sugah

I have strongly suggested to others, as was suggested to me, that if life still seems miserable after a time sober, don't pick up a drink until giving those steps 100% effort and dedication. I had some hard times in early sobriety, and in my usual fashion, I made a deal with myself. If I still felt like drinking/using when I was carrying the message, I'd throw in the towel and drink.

So far, so good...one day at a time.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

unigirl

Thanks Don- just what i needed! Your message is very positive and realisitic - it inspires me to keep putting in the action! Thanks again!

reed

Thats right and good...

gravity

That's what I committed to myself on day 1. No matter what, I would work through the steps. I wouldn't know if the steps would help unless I gave it a real effort. It's a real double-edged sword for me. Go though tough times, give up on AA, "what's the use?" Get into that cocky mindset, take credit for everything "who needs AA?", go back to doing things on my own. Honestly, I still have to work through this at times.

I know I have some emotional amends to make but my sponsor & I went through them one by one to figure out the best approach and time to make the amend. From there, it's the final 3 steps (simplifying) - keepng my thoughts/actions in check, meditation/prayer, and helping others. I actually find these steps to be something I should be doing anyway. It really does complement/enhance the other aspects of my life.

StayinAlive

Thanks Gravity! I know what you mean about not wanting to come off too happy. I used to resent happy people. But it is hard to keep my new found freedom and gratitude in so i don't

Thanks for letting yours shine.

I noticed you signed off with your name, nice touch
I feel privileged to know your name now Don i have yet to find the courage to do the same

Sugah

There's this wonderful woman in my home group - she recently celebrated 25 years sober - who says, "Once you know, you know."

Working all the steps and incorporating them into your life doesn't mean that trouble times never again come around. But, after that awakening, taking a drink in response seems such an inferior solution to any problem.

Peace & Love,
Sugah
~who just wanted to add that...

kelsh

Hi Don,

You sound just like I did and felt in my first year of Sobriety. I could have shouted it from the roof tops because I felt I was doing something good for myself.

AA saved my life and I did work hard with the program as part of my daily life.
I had to deal with major depression at the same time which was harder for me.

I didn't care who knew I was an alcoholic and believe me some people are still afraid of alcoholics even sober ones.

We are a special people I think...I have always been drawn to certain personalities, especially with the Elderly that I helped with depression & grief along with other problems.

It seems I could sense that a person had at one time or another a problem with alcohol or prescription drugs. One native american gentleman told me he sobered up 14 years before I knew him and it was while in jail for killing another man in a fist fight.

I commend you for your hard work and keeping on keeping on. I had a tough sponsor who told me a couple years after I sobered up that she was jealous of me because I took to the program so easy and was so willing to work the steps. I told her I was surprised because I valued all of her insight to my problems and thinking that would hold me back sometimes. :ghug3

I have 19 years of Sobriety and in July it will be the big 20! I still practice the principles in my life, meditate, and recite the Serenity Prayer as many times a day as I want to when I meet up with a difficult decision.

I can't say being sober kept away all catastrofic events in my life but it made it better...I feel I am a stronger person than ever before and that we alcoholics know how to take the "Bull by the Horns" when it is time for us to do it.

kelsh

tennis71

Well said and congratualtions on your success!

Rusty Zipper

grav that PC aint just about feeling better...

IMO... its about the holding and clinging on to the serenity found from living the steps...

its all encompassing!

i have had many people in the rooms say... "hey, it wont last!"

"when are you gunna get off the F'n Pink Cloud of yours?"

PPFFTT!!!

BS to that grav...!

that PC can be a lifetime cloud of wellness, goodness, and hope...

theres pleny of room on that cloud for any, and everyone, that wants, and will put the work, effort and time in to keep it!

way to go grav!

love ya!

Sugah

My sponsor told me that pink clouds are made out of gratitude, and so long as you always have gratitude, you can enjoy that pretty ride.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

angelfromheaven

At the end of my ABF's aftercare rehab program he was told about the succesrate:

Around 35% after Rehab (6 weeks) only
With additionally 2 weeks aftercare it goes up to around 65%
Add 90 AA meetings in 90 days and continously working the Steps, having a sponsor etc. it is at 85 % and more

Dedication and consistency seems to be the secret. To take or to loose a habit take around 3 months or more.

Doing service is also a very good way of continous recovery.

Well done, Don and to all others for your committment to your recovery

Tazman53

My sponsor told me that the only reason I would ever fall off of that pink cloud was if I let up on my program, so far so good!!!