again..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 58
again..
I don't really have a question I just more need to vent. I feel horrible today I messed up again yesterday. I was taken to the er again by ambulance for drinking too much. I didn't have alcohol poisoning or anything just kept me their till I sobered up. This is the third time that this has happened. The other 2 times were last may so about a year ago. The nurse that I had yesterday told me that he is an alcoholic and talked with me about how this is a sign that I need to stop drinking. Some of my friends have been with me all the times that I've gone this way overboard so when they came and visited me yesterday i apologized and told them that I don't blame them if they hate me. I remember when I was laying on the ground my friend came over and said well why I am not surprised.
I know, i know no one can tell me if I'm an alcoholic or not but whats bothering me is that I don't drink everyday by any means sometimes just once a week and I"m not physically addicted to drinking in anyway. I don't really want to stop drinking I just want this to stop happening. Every time that it happens I say what was I thinking that will never happen again but it does. I don't know how I could drink that much and not expect it to happen.
Sorry for this being so long thanks for listenening.
I know, i know no one can tell me if I'm an alcoholic or not but whats bothering me is that I don't drink everyday by any means sometimes just once a week and I"m not physically addicted to drinking in anyway. I don't really want to stop drinking I just want this to stop happening. Every time that it happens I say what was I thinking that will never happen again but it does. I don't know how I could drink that much and not expect it to happen.
Sorry for this being so long thanks for listenening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
My definition of an alcoholic before I came to AA was someone who drank every day, most likely a skid row bum, living under a bridge, who had lost everything near and dear to him.
I never drank every day; I was a binge drinker. I never got a DUI or thrown in jail for anything alcohol related. I didn't hide booze at home from my daughter. I didn't lose my home or my car.
Being an alcoholic had nothing to do with how much I drank, how often I drank, what I drank, and who I did/didn't drink with. The drinking was only a symptom of my problem.
My problem was right between my ears in my thinking/attitudes.
The insanity of this disease is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results.
It only gets worse, never better.
If you don't want to quit drinking, then by all means, please continue because there isn't a thing any of us can say here that is doing to change your mind.
I've been told by my sponsor that for every day I stay sober, someone else is out there drinking for me. I'd like to thank you very much for drinking for me yesterday
Thank you for reminding me it is still out there, still cunning, baffling, and powerful.
I never drank every day; I was a binge drinker. I never got a DUI or thrown in jail for anything alcohol related. I didn't hide booze at home from my daughter. I didn't lose my home or my car.
Being an alcoholic had nothing to do with how much I drank, how often I drank, what I drank, and who I did/didn't drink with. The drinking was only a symptom of my problem.
My problem was right between my ears in my thinking/attitudes.
The insanity of this disease is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results.
It only gets worse, never better.
If you don't want to quit drinking, then by all means, please continue because there isn't a thing any of us can say here that is doing to change your mind.
I've been told by my sponsor that for every day I stay sober, someone else is out there drinking for me. I'd like to thank you very much for drinking for me yesterday
Thank you for reminding me it is still out there, still cunning, baffling, and powerful.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
'no one can tell you if you're an alcoholic or not...' But you've been to the ER three times for this?? Do you even have to ask?
You say you don't want to stop drinking but you want this to stop happening... evidently it WILL happen again, you just don't know when.
I had to go to the ER this year for horrible withdrawals. That alone told me I needed help, and the best place to start was to STOP DRINKING. It took me many attempts but today I've got a month sober. And no more visits to the ER in the wee hours from violent withdrawal symptoms. I can live without the medical bills... and without the withdrawals.
You say you don't want to stop drinking but you want this to stop happening... evidently it WILL happen again, you just don't know when.
I had to go to the ER this year for horrible withdrawals. That alone told me I needed help, and the best place to start was to STOP DRINKING. It took me many attempts but today I've got a month sober. And no more visits to the ER in the wee hours from violent withdrawal symptoms. I can live without the medical bills... and without the withdrawals.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Being physically addicted to alcohol is not a determining factor in alcoholism.
1 - Have you ever lost control of the amount of alcohol you intended to drink, once you started drinking?
2 - Ever having not wanted to drink (ie "I won't do THAT again") - have you ever found you changing your resolve over what (in retrospect) was a trivial matter? Have you ever said "I am not going to drink tonight" - and changed your mind?
Being physically addicted, may be a pretty good sign - but I have met plenty of hard drinkers who were addicted enough to have to go through detox, but they are not alcoholic.
I also know many alcoholics who never became physically addicted
For me - I got em both - physically dependent and alcoholic.
Find out the truth of your condition before you end up dead because of it. Maybe give that nurse a call and ask for help - sounds like he was reaching out.
1 - Have you ever lost control of the amount of alcohol you intended to drink, once you started drinking?
2 - Ever having not wanted to drink (ie "I won't do THAT again") - have you ever found you changing your resolve over what (in retrospect) was a trivial matter? Have you ever said "I am not going to drink tonight" - and changed your mind?
Being physically addicted, may be a pretty good sign - but I have met plenty of hard drinkers who were addicted enough to have to go through detox, but they are not alcoholic.
I also know many alcoholics who never became physically addicted
For me - I got em both - physically dependent and alcoholic.
Find out the truth of your condition before you end up dead because of it. Maybe give that nurse a call and ask for help - sounds like he was reaching out.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well....you are in serious trouble.
At a certain point...alcohol shuts down your brain.
You die.
Is drinking a problem for you?
Definately.
I do hope you decide to live sober
and stop this risky behavior.
At a certain point...alcohol shuts down your brain.
You die.
Is drinking a problem for you?
Definately.
I do hope you decide to live sober
and stop this risky behavior.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Em002 when you think about alcoholics you think about AA right? Well follow this link and answer the questions honestly, take note that not a single one of these questions are about drinking daily or being physically addicted to alcohol Alcoholics Anonymous :
The longer an alcoholic drinks the worse thier alcholism becomes, for a daily drinker they drink more every day, for a binge drinker the shorter the times between binging gets until finally the become a daily drinker.
Be honest with your self....... alcoholism kills in many different ways!
The longer an alcoholic drinks the worse thier alcholism becomes, for a daily drinker they drink more every day, for a binge drinker the shorter the times between binging gets until finally the become a daily drinker.
Be honest with your self....... alcoholism kills in many different ways!
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 195
Hi emm, i know how u feel. Before i got sober i knew u didnt have to drink everyday to be an alcoholic- but i though u would most days and would be obsessing over drink 24/7 and getting arrested and fighting etc when u did drink. Cos i was young and sometimes only drank once a week i believed i was not an alcoholic.
However i have been into hospital 3 times after drinking and whenever i drank i couldn't predict my behaviour. Like u say- u dont want these things to keep happening...i was the same i was so sick of the same old crap happenig wheni drank- of the humilaition. I would try EVERYTHING to drink 'normally' and couldn't.
You don't have to keep doing this to yourself - if u find it almost impossible to stop drinking once you start anf when u really wanna stop drinking u cant u prob an alcoholic- it's that simple. I hope you find what u looking for here -- let us know how u r doing.
However i have been into hospital 3 times after drinking and whenever i drank i couldn't predict my behaviour. Like u say- u dont want these things to keep happening...i was the same i was so sick of the same old crap happenig wheni drank- of the humilaition. I would try EVERYTHING to drink 'normally' and couldn't.
You don't have to keep doing this to yourself - if u find it almost impossible to stop drinking once you start anf when u really wanna stop drinking u cant u prob an alcoholic- it's that simple. I hope you find what u looking for here -- let us know how u r doing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
If your drinking is causing you problems, then you are a problem drinker. How much of a problem is only within you to decide. For me, being taken to the hospital three times in about a year is a big problem.
Remember, alcohol is cunning and in a few days, you might be thinking about all the times you drank and didn't go to the hospital, making drinking ok again, as long as you are more careful. Did you say that after the first time? Did you say it after the second time? You are starting a cycle of drinking that progressively gets worse over time.
I would seriously consider your life and options. Only you can do it honestly, and if you see a cycle or problem or progression over time of your drinking, address it.
I'm glad you got to the hospital though, and were ok.
Remember, alcohol is cunning and in a few days, you might be thinking about all the times you drank and didn't go to the hospital, making drinking ok again, as long as you are more careful. Did you say that after the first time? Did you say it after the second time? You are starting a cycle of drinking that progressively gets worse over time.
I would seriously consider your life and options. Only you can do it honestly, and if you see a cycle or problem or progression over time of your drinking, address it.
I'm glad you got to the hospital though, and were ok.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Born in Long Island NY/Mtns of N.C Is my home now
Posts: 405
Freedom1990 , you said a mouthful, INSANITY. em002 When you throw yourself under the bus you can bet the ER will be the next step, i know that bus very well trust me, i hope this will become a reason to rethink the drinking.
Take care,
John
Take care,
John
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 58
So here I go again.. I typed a whole long post and then when I went to send it it deleted.
Thank you everyone for your advice. I’m still feeling pretty bad today and I can’t really concentrate on anything because I just keep thinking about the situation. I actually went to an AA meeting last night. I had been before for a class assignment ironically enough. I didn’t really talk to anyone though I just introduced myself when they asked if anyone was new. They did invite me out to dinner with them afterwards but I couldn’t go.
Rimmy- You are right I do think we’ll I’ve drank all these other times and it hasn’t happened. I also said after the other two times that I would never let it happen again and look what happened.
Unigirl- I assume from your screenname that you are in college also. Its hard because I guess its more socially acceptable to get completely trashed every weekend in college. A lot of my friends do drink heavily but none of them have even been to the ER once and I’m on my third time. I even said to one of them yesterday why can’t I just get drunk like you do.
Taz- I got 5 yes answers on the quiz and it says if you get more than 4 you have a problem. I know we have talked about this before I just have more thinking to do.
Sugarspun- I guess I would have to answer yes to both of your questions. I have lost control of how much I drink. I know that when I drink x amount is when I will get sick and I don’t know why I would think it was ok to drink that much this weekend. One I’m glad that I was relatively ok and two that my friends don’t completely hate me. I always thought ok I can’t do this again they will kill me and then it happened two more times.
Sugah- I can just have one or two if I wanted to like if I were out to dinner or something. But when I am at a bar or party I just really don’t see the point in drinking unless I get drunk.
Sorry its so long again.
Thank you everyone for your advice. I’m still feeling pretty bad today and I can’t really concentrate on anything because I just keep thinking about the situation. I actually went to an AA meeting last night. I had been before for a class assignment ironically enough. I didn’t really talk to anyone though I just introduced myself when they asked if anyone was new. They did invite me out to dinner with them afterwards but I couldn’t go.
Rimmy- You are right I do think we’ll I’ve drank all these other times and it hasn’t happened. I also said after the other two times that I would never let it happen again and look what happened.
Unigirl- I assume from your screenname that you are in college also. Its hard because I guess its more socially acceptable to get completely trashed every weekend in college. A lot of my friends do drink heavily but none of them have even been to the ER once and I’m on my third time. I even said to one of them yesterday why can’t I just get drunk like you do.
Taz- I got 5 yes answers on the quiz and it says if you get more than 4 you have a problem. I know we have talked about this before I just have more thinking to do.
Sugarspun- I guess I would have to answer yes to both of your questions. I have lost control of how much I drink. I know that when I drink x amount is when I will get sick and I don’t know why I would think it was ok to drink that much this weekend. One I’m glad that I was relatively ok and two that my friends don’t completely hate me. I always thought ok I can’t do this again they will kill me and then it happened two more times.
Sugah- I can just have one or two if I wanted to like if I were out to dinner or something. But when I am at a bar or party I just really don’t see the point in drinking unless I get drunk.
Sorry its so long again.
Computer Surgeon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 124
As a fellow binge drinker, Em002, I was in your shoes a few years ago. I desperately wanted to keep drinking - after all, I didn't drink daily (at first) and my entire social life revolved around it. I was young and this kind of drinking is what young people did, right?
Fast forward the tape: a half-dozen ER visits, nearly dying from detoxing, lost love, lost friends, lost years...if there's anything I can impart on you, in my experience it doesn't get better. It gets worse. I just wanted to drink like everyone else but I couldn't.
Welcome to SR. I hope you gain what you need from the wisdom here to live a happy and healthy life.
Fast forward the tape: a half-dozen ER visits, nearly dying from detoxing, lost love, lost friends, lost years...if there's anything I can impart on you, in my experience it doesn't get better. It gets worse. I just wanted to drink like everyone else but I couldn't.
Welcome to SR. I hope you gain what you need from the wisdom here to live a happy and healthy life.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Oh dear our alcoholic denial cuts DEEP! 
I'm so sorry that you're still at this point...I hope you see the light soon. What happened to you (3 times!) doesnot happen to ANYONE but alcoholics! you will die from this if you don't take action. Do the questionnaire on the aa website...please just try and see the truth - recovery is a beautiful thing I hate to see people like yourself stuck in denial it's a terrible dangerous place to be.
Cathy31
I'm so sorry that you're still at this point...I hope you see the light soon. What happened to you (3 times!) doesnot happen to ANYONE but alcoholics! you will die from this if you don't take action. Do the questionnaire on the aa website...please just try and see the truth - recovery is a beautiful thing I hate to see people like yourself stuck in denial it's a terrible dangerous place to be.Cathy31
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 195
Hey Em, thats cool you went to an AA mtng- are you planning to head to others? I find they really really help me. I am at uni yes, all my mates get drunk n that - so i find AA is a great way to meet new ppl that have the same situation. If you get around some more mtngs you will soon learn there are other young folk about- there def is where i am and it's a great help! SR is a great help too of course!
Lol - i remember for a creative wiritng exercise we had to write a speech, i chose to do a speech on alcoholism to a school (just had to write it not actually deliver it!) for english lit- (this was before i realised i was actually acoholic, but deffo had my suspicions....) funny how things turn out eh?! Keep us posted on how you doing
Lol - i remember for a creative wiritng exercise we had to write a speech, i chose to do a speech on alcoholism to a school (just had to write it not actually deliver it!) for english lit- (this was before i realised i was actually acoholic, but deffo had my suspicions....) funny how things turn out eh?! Keep us posted on how you doing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 58
Mypaperanchor- True my life does partly revolve around drinking its the social thing that I do with my friends. I agree with you there that this is what young people do unless you were being sarcastic?? I'm happy for you that you have your life back together.
Thanks for your input taz and cathy. I'm don't really see that i'm in denial I know what has happened with me has been ridiculous. I just don't know what to do about it because there has been many many times that I have drank and nothing bad has happened.
Unigirl- I think I will try and go to another AA meeting maybe a different one because there were all older people at this one. I feel like I would be able to relate more if there was someone a similar age to me.
Thanks for your input taz and cathy. I'm don't really see that i'm in denial I know what has happened with me has been ridiculous. I just don't know what to do about it because there has been many many times that I have drank and nothing bad has happened.
Unigirl- I think I will try and go to another AA meeting maybe a different one because there were all older people at this one. I feel like I would be able to relate more if there was someone a similar age to me.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Em there are a ton of colleges in Md., I can tell you right now that there is not a campus in the US of any size that does not have at least an AA meeting a week if not more.
Em lets put another spin on that with a question:
How many bad things happen to you when you are sober?
I drank for 40 years, the majority of the time I drank bad things did not happen to me either, unless you want to count that my alcoholism was getting worse with every drink, I was slowly working on destroying my liver and other organs in my body and was not really accomplishing a single thing while I was drinking, and I was slowly destroying my relationships with people I loved.
I just don't know what to do about it because there has been many many times that I have drank and nothing bad has happened.
How many bad things happen to you when you are sober?
I drank for 40 years, the majority of the time I drank bad things did not happen to me either, unless you want to count that my alcoholism was getting worse with every drink, I was slowly working on destroying my liver and other organs in my body and was not really accomplishing a single thing while I was drinking, and I was slowly destroying my relationships with people I loved.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
Em lets put another spin on that with a question:
How many bad things happen to you when you are sober?
.
My sister was telling me some stuff that I was saying and doing that day and I feel terrible. The paramedics told me to behave and stop it and apparently the nurses where laughing at me. I know that is not me I don't act like that. Even though it upset me to hear this stuff it gives me some more motivation to not drink this weekend.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
I went to the ER once for horrible withdrawals. ONe of the nurses there was rather harsh with me, but honest. She said that she was sorry for my daughter, not for me. She was right. I was putting my daughter thru more hell than I was going thru. I finally learned. I have 32 days sober now and I never thought I could get this far without alcohol. If I can do it, so can you.
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