Sugah

There's hope for all of us. It's up to us, though, to latch onto it and change things.

One more time: you can't do it for him.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

splendra

There is always hope as long as they are alive. But if you actually think that you are keeping him from destroying himself by staying you are mistaken. If you leave and he doesn't get sober all that means if you had stayed he would also still be drunk.

If you leave and he calls you up saying; oh please come home I will quit drinking if you come back home, you will then be in a position of power to say to him I will come back when you have been clean and sober for one year. If you leave and go back to him before he has had time to get sober you will find yourself in an even worse mess than you are in right now.

Don't forget that you are talking to ex drinkers in this forum and you are asking what to do to help and we hope you get the message that it is not up to you to get him sober it is up to him totally. You do need help. I just hope you will understand that it will be helping him for you to do the right thing for yourself and your child. Taking his abuse sends a powerful message to his disease that it is ok to be a jerk.

least

"Taking his abuse sends a powerful message to his disease that it is ok to be a jerk." AMEN to that!!!

best

He has no reason that he can see to get sober.
Alcohol comes first.
An alcoholic doesn't see family . Doesn't see a son. Has only one interest... the next drink.
By taking care of you and your son, you are doing the best thing you can do for him. He can't take care of you while he is drinking so you must. He is not teaching his son the right way to treat a lady so you need to shield your son from that as well.

Son grows up... Why can't I hit girls? Dad did it. What is good enough for dad is good enough for me.

You will be doing the best thing you can for all of you by taking care of yourself and your son.

Tazman53

Sasha imho the first thing you need to do is get you priorities straight!!!!

Do you love him more then you love your son? Do you love your self more then you love him?

You need to make your self and your son your number one priority! A boy who sees his dad beat the snot out of his mother 99% of the time grows up beating the snot out of his spouse! Is this what you wish your son to become?

There are other programs besides AA, but so far all I have heard is excuses!!!

When an alcoholic really wants to quit drinking they become willing to do anything to get and stay sober!

There are tons of athiest and agnostics that have gotten sober in AA and they have worked the steps and live the steps!!!!

Being an atheist is an excuse!!!!

Funny thing that:

If he is scared of groups of people how could he go to a bar? How could he pick up a woman?

Another excuse!!!!

Like I said if a person really wants to get and stay sober there are no excuses!!!! There are other programs besides AA so that blows away all excuses!!!!

Please take care of your son and yourself, go to Alanon for support........ and yes you can be an athiest and go to Alanon. If you love your son there will be no excuses.