Some newbie questions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 27
Some newbie questions
Hello All,
I recently came across this forum whilst doing some general searching for help on having an alcohol problem.
For the past few weeks or so I've just been cruising the forum and have taken a lot from the very thorough thoughtful posts.
I'm not sure I am an alcoholic, but if I'm honest I think I probably am - I filled in the online questionaire from AA that someone helpfully posted on this forum recently and got 8 out of the 12 - I guess I have some issues.
I do have a few questions, apologies if these are answered elsewhere or I'm in the wrong forum - if so maybe someone could point me in the right direction ?
For the first time I'm thinking it might be best for me to stop drinking alcohol completely.
My first question is , I have a few very close friends where when we meet we always drink, a lot. Does anyone have any experience of how to deal with friends who expect you to drink and might be somewhat put out if you don't ?
Also, I've found that when drinking at home if I have some bottles of low / non alcohol ciders or beers then I can cope without having the alcoholic equivalants - is this an acceptable way to cut out alcohol or does it just lead back to more alcohol ?
Anyway - I hope to become a regular member of the forum, if that's ok - everyone seems very friendly and helpful and I think I've found a great place to seek and hopefully offer some help.
On reflection, I think I might have lived my last 8 - 10 years at 10% of what I should have if that makes any sense ?
With best regards,
Andy
I recently came across this forum whilst doing some general searching for help on having an alcohol problem.
For the past few weeks or so I've just been cruising the forum and have taken a lot from the very thorough thoughtful posts.
I'm not sure I am an alcoholic, but if I'm honest I think I probably am - I filled in the online questionaire from AA that someone helpfully posted on this forum recently and got 8 out of the 12 - I guess I have some issues.
I do have a few questions, apologies if these are answered elsewhere or I'm in the wrong forum - if so maybe someone could point me in the right direction ?
For the first time I'm thinking it might be best for me to stop drinking alcohol completely.
My first question is , I have a few very close friends where when we meet we always drink, a lot. Does anyone have any experience of how to deal with friends who expect you to drink and might be somewhat put out if you don't ?
Also, I've found that when drinking at home if I have some bottles of low / non alcohol ciders or beers then I can cope without having the alcoholic equivalants - is this an acceptable way to cut out alcohol or does it just lead back to more alcohol ?
Anyway - I hope to become a regular member of the forum, if that's ok - everyone seems very friendly and helpful and I think I've found a great place to seek and hopefully offer some help.
On reflection, I think I might have lived my last 8 - 10 years at 10% of what I should have if that makes any sense ?
With best regards,
Andy
Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
Welcome Andy!
My first question is , I have a few very close friends where when we meet we always drink, a lot. Does anyone have any experience of how to deal with friends who expect you to drink and might be somewhat put out if you don't ?
Also, I've found that when drinking at home if I have some bottles of low / non alcohol ciders or beers then I can cope without having the alcoholic equivalants - is this an acceptable way to cut out alcohol or does it just lead back to more alcohol ? Re: your first question. This is the time when you find out who really are your friends, and who are just drinking buddies. My close friends have been very supportive of my decision to quit drinking.
And for you second one, I'm really not a good person to answer that. I've never really drank non/low alcoholic beverages because I didn't think they tasted good. But the general consesus around here is that it's probably not a good idea to drink them.
good luck and stick around and keep posting!
Originally Posted by xoffender 
My first question is , I have a few very close friends where when we meet we always drink, a lot. Does anyone have any experience of how to deal with friends who expect you to drink and might be somewhat put out if you don't ?
Also, I've found that when drinking at home if I have some bottles of low / non alcohol ciders or beers then I can cope without having the alcoholic equivalants - is this an acceptable way to cut out alcohol or does it just lead back to more alcohol ?
And for you second one, I'm really not a good person to answer that. I've never really drank non/low alcoholic beverages because I didn't think they tasted good. But the general consesus around here is that it's probably not a good idea to drink them.
good luck and stick around and keep posting!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Andy....
When I was a drinker...I only had drinking friends.
As I am now a non drinker...99% of my friends
I found in AA. We share the same lifestyle and goals.
I do not drink or eat foods with alcohol.
I consider myself to be allergic to toxins.
Glad you decided to post....Welcome!....
When I was a drinker...I only had drinking friends.
As I am now a non drinker...99% of my friends
I found in AA. We share the same lifestyle and goals.
I do not drink or eat foods with alcohol.
I consider myself to be allergic to toxins.
Glad you decided to post....Welcome!....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 386
Hi Andy,
I sought out new friends, or hung out with my old "good" friends who didn't push alcohol at me.
I don't drink NA anything, I have seen many people fall on their faces from using it, including someone very close to me.
Seren
I sought out new friends, or hung out with my old "good" friends who didn't push alcohol at me.
I don't drink NA anything, I have seen many people fall on their faces from using it, including someone very close to me.
Seren
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Welcome to the forum, Andy
I'm glad you found us. You don't have to keep living at 10%. Life without alcohol can be excellent.. especially if you are an alcoholic like I am. Yup, I did really well on all those "Am I an Alcoholic?" quizzes too. I quit drinking one day, with the help of this website, and I've been sober a little over 2 years now.
I'm not all that great at giving advice, but I can share my own experience.
When I stopped drinking, I found out who my *real* friends were. My good friends were supportive of me with my new lifestyle change. I found it hard to hang out with people who were drinking alot when I first got sober, and I still don't like hanging out with people who are getting drunk. I started to avoid events and get-togethers that had a drinking focus. I did drift away from some of my old friends...but.. I met many new sober friends in AA.
I drink non-alcoholic beverages, but no "low alcohol" beverages. Part of my problem with alcohol is an intense craving that I get when I have it in my system. It took a while for this to go away, and I don't want it back.
I hope this helps. Stick with us, Andy, it gets better...
chip
I'm glad you found us. You don't have to keep living at 10%. Life without alcohol can be excellent.. especially if you are an alcoholic like I am. Yup, I did really well on all those "Am I an Alcoholic?" quizzes too. I quit drinking one day, with the help of this website, and I've been sober a little over 2 years now.
I'm not all that great at giving advice, but I can share my own experience.
When I stopped drinking, I found out who my *real* friends were. My good friends were supportive of me with my new lifestyle change. I found it hard to hang out with people who were drinking alot when I first got sober, and I still don't like hanging out with people who are getting drunk. I started to avoid events and get-togethers that had a drinking focus. I did drift away from some of my old friends...but.. I met many new sober friends in AA.
I drink non-alcoholic beverages, but no "low alcohol" beverages. Part of my problem with alcohol is an intense craving that I get when I have it in my system. It took a while for this to go away, and I don't want it back.
I hope this helps. Stick with us, Andy, it gets better...
chip
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
Originally Posted by xoffender
Does anyone have any experience of how to deal with friends who expect you to drink and might be somewhat put out if you don't ?
On reflection, I think I might have lived my last 8 - 10 years at 10% of what I should have if that makes any sense ?
On reflection, I think I might have lived my last 8 - 10 years at 10% of what I should have if that makes any sense ?
Think about those two sentences together. My friends want me to live as close to 100% of my potential as I can, and if drinking is dragging me backwards, expect me NOT to drink. That is the difference between friends and drinking buddies. I still have both in my life, but do not drink with my drinking buddies. Being sober does not make me unfun or boring. Now I am laughed with, not laughed at.
Don't get me wrong, it's taken me three years to get to where I can hang out and choose not to drink while others are. It's up to you to try and keep yourself in situations that you are comfortable with. And not drinking is your choice, not theirs.
So stay positive about the other 90% you have to look forward to.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,886
Originally Posted by xoffender
My first question is , I have a few very close friends where when we meet we always drink, a lot. Does anyone have any experience of how to deal with friends who expect you to drink and might be somewhat put out if you don't ?
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